Changing my views of what "girlfriend" means

[lokariototal]

I'm starting to look at the term "girlfriend" in a different way. After reading this, I just want u to tell me ur opinion!

Until recently, I used to view the concept of GF as the epitome of intimacy. "When u get A LOT of intimacy with a girl, THEN u can be her boyfriend" is the way I thought. For me, EVERYTHING had to be "the perfect moment". The first kiss had to be the most perfect kiss ever, the moment when I told her if she wanted to be my girlfriend had to be "the perfect moment" and so on, and now I'm beginning to think this mentality is doing more harm than good. Im the kind of guy who would say a whole speech about love or something like that before asking her in the "perfect moment" if she wanted to be my girlfriend. I think I took all of those romantic things WAY too seriously. I'm starting to think that maybe, it's not such a big of a deal. I'm beginning to think maybe it's the other way around. Maybe she becomes my girlfriend FIRST, and THEN we start knowing each other more and more and developing intimacy. Right now, I don't know when a girl is ready to be my girlfriend, but Im trying to not take this so seriously.

So, What do u think of all this? When do u know when a girl is ready to be ur girlfriend? Do u think my old way of looking at "romance" is influenced by the media? Was I what u call a "nice guy"?

 

[AlexTheGreat]

I think you should forget about the notion of "girlfriend" altogether. Dating should be fun and amusing, and when you start questioning the very meaning of a word like "girlfriend", it's clear you put too much emphasis on that. Let it be easy-going, unserious, and develop from there.

If the foundation of a building isn't strong, no matter how much supports you add, it's still going to be crooked. Fix your foundation by letting go of the preconceived notions of what a relationship should be, and just enjoy getting to know girls and having fun with them -- all in a sexually open way.

 

[Scars]

The best and longest lasting relationships I had were the ones where the girl asked me out. Simply relax, and do your thing. Get her emotions stirring. Don't wait for a "perfect moment" to kiss her, just do it. Get her feeling good. But also date other girls. It keeps your head straight and from developing one-it-is. She may find out you're dating other girls, oh well, simply tell her you don't have a girlfriend and you like to date around until you find a girl worthy enough. She will respect that. She may feel a little uneasy that you're seeing other girls, but just do your thing and make feel amazing every time she's around you. She's going to forget about it because emotion over rides logic. Then when she finally has time to actually THINK she's going to realize she wants you for the taking, and to knock out the competition. She will then ask you yourself. From there it's all about keeping your frame and not giving into AFCness. Because admittedly, even I would find myself slowing slipping into one-it-is after being with a girl for a long time. It's okay to show a little intimacy, but don't over do it. Reward her with it. Don't make it an everyday thing. Keep your frame strong and everything will be alright, don't ever reward bad behavior.