Changes in perspective after breakup

[Miles Davis]

Guys,

Broke up with my ex-gf back in September. I can say that I'm definitely over it (though not everything, as natural). But, after this breakup, I find myself having very different views about women and dating in general than I did prior to having that girlfriend. I still have my DJ skills, and have confidence, and all, but I am having trouble accepting the whole "Just Play the Game" thing. Yes, it is a game, but sometimes I think the whole thing is pointless...it's become like a piece of gum that's lost it's taste. And, it's been irking me that women are so scandalous. I don't know why, but it hurts a bit to know that a lot of women are just after c*ck. (lol, I never thought I would complain about such a thing). I am definitely going through some major change right now. I think it's partly due to the fact that it hurts to think about my ex-gf f*cking some other dude... and it's transcends to all women right now. Knowing that women just love to f*ck was once a beautiful thing, and now it's disturbing.

What's going on? Anyone been through this before

 

[Mike_The_Man]

Why did you 2 break up? What were the reasons?

 

[Albion4]

Dude, this is why we (men) have hobbies beside chasing women. You are right, after a while it does get boring and leave a bad taste. When that happens I bury myself into my hobbies and forget about women for a while. Eventually a nice one will come along and repeak my interests but I'm not going to try to force it.

I think you're problem is that you associate everything that you do with picking up women. Ask yourself this, would you enjoy blowing an entire Saturday doing something if you knew there were no chance of women being there at all?

-Al

 

[Miles Davis]

she got really hung up over her ex-boyfriend dating one of her (now ex) best friends. I don't blame her, I thought it was a d!ck move on her friend's part. But, as much as I tried to play it cool, things fell apart, and her mind wasn't in our relationship. Eventually, we just called it off because there was tension, and arguing sometimes. All of that wasn't there prior to the whole situation. Anyway, I don't think she was the right girl for me ultimately.

 

[Miles Davis]

Albion, that's a great point.

I am a musician/producer, and every weekend I have jam sessions. I'm always doing something with music, it's my main hobby. Frankly, it's the only thing that will put me at ease. But it hasn't solved the problem yet. It's hard to accept things the way they are with women, all of a sudden.

 

[PRMoon]

Usually after you land a girl you think of her as your property. So after you've broken up with her and she moves onto someone else it definately gets to you inside.

I feel this way about my exgirlfriends all the time but even though that's how I feel, that's not how I let myself think. I feel regret and anger but when you focus on meeting someone else, or you meet someone else you get that good feeling of acheivement inside and all of a sudden you're back in the game and enjoying it.

You're just feeling human which is good. You just have to exibit enough mental toughness to move beyond your primative emotions.

Stong mind, strong player, good game.

 

[belividere]

I too got out of a relationship in september. She broke up with me but I kind of pushed it on her for the couple of months before. Anyways different story.

Afterwards I took a good look at where I was in life, were I've been and were I wanted to be. I took a little sabatical from women and spent the last 5 months or so doing things to advance my self. I had invested a long time getting were I wanted to be already. I just wanted to take it to the next level. Best thing I've ever done for myself. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I have accomplished without coming off as a pompous ass.

You are into music. Get more into music. If this is your job. Try to be the best. Take your newfound freedom and use it to excel in what you enjoy doing. You need to be forward looking and not waste time on the past. It is not changeable.

I will admit though I wasn't to strict with the no women policy but I wasn't out in full force by any means. Like you I realized that she wouldn't have been what I wanted in the long run anyhow. You're better off now and you know it. And even if it all the sudden happened it was still almost half a year ago. You just got to let it go.

Was this your first relationship? How long were you guys together?