"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Canadian Catnip

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I used to be really needy around women and as of about a few months ago I had a life changing experience. Long story short, I decided that I needed to be either a man or a boy, I couldn't be both.

I had a big shift inside me and I feel as if I have become more serious. I think a lot clearer now and have let go of a lot of things in my life. I do my very best not to be attached to things and I find I am showing my emotions a lot less.

I find the change in me is confusing. I like the new me but I no longer know how to read women the way I used to.

Has anyone here gone through a maturing event in their lives that had completely changes them, so much so that they felt like a different person?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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skirtChaser

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yes.......go out and socialize and readjust to the new you. doesn't take long......unless you fight it.
 

ducaro

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I hear you..

I feel since the time I've changed, I have lost interest in women! Trust me as scary as it may sound, I have a lot more 'mental space' to do things I like for myself. I've become so independent and relaxed that life is really looking good for me... and yes, I have detached myself from almost all material things.. once you are able to do that.. life is bliss. its great!
 

Canadian Catnip

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daycare said:
I hear you..

I feel since the time I've changed, I have lost interest in women! Trust me as scary as it may sound, I have a lot more 'mental space' to do things I like for myself. I've become so independent and relaxed that life is really looking good for me... and yes, I have detached myself from almost all material things.. once you are able to do that.. life is bliss. its great!
I see that you are 57. I just turned 44 a few months ago and that, along with having a small health scare, that was not serious but did show me my mortality, seemed to make a big change in me.

I to am a lot happier MOST of the times. A lot of stuff that used to bother me doesn't anymore. I can relate to the 'mental space' idea. So much less to worry about these days.

I know this young girl in her mid twenties that I hung around with last year. She was away for a year and just came back a month or so ago. We used to talk all the time. The first time I talked with her after she got back I think she could tell that something was different in me, the second time we talked she excused herself within 10 minutes. I tried talking with her the other day and she is completely not interested.

I am just not the same man I was last year and she can sense it. I feel I have changed for the better but I think she wants the old catnip back, (I think I used to worship her more last year, now I treat her as nothing special). I don't want to fake it and be something I'm not, yet I find a lot of new women I have just recently met find me more attractive since I have changes. Have you found that as well?

Perhaps she just doesn't know what to think of the new me or she really wants the old me back or It might take time for us to rediscover our friendship again. Who can say. I like her as a person a lot, and I value the friendship we had.
 
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