"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Change in Power

T

theborn_athlete

Don Juan
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This girl and I have been hooking up randomly since school started, nothing serious the most I've ever done is finger her, she's only had sex with one person and they dated for years. She is a party girl, meaning she used to make out with lots of guys whenever she was drinking but she would always shut it down before it went any further. It's been on and off and started to become more frequent in December and then we left for Christmas holidays.

Well my buddies were giving me a hard time about putting in so much time and not closing the deal so I promised them that if it hadn't happened by February 1st, it was over.

I've got two exams coming up so we won't be hanging out and I realised the deadline is going to come and go.

So I decided that I would stick to my word and just see how it went. I stopped responding to her messages on MSN and my cell phone for just 1 day. Then something happened; she went out on Thursday and hooked up with a random guy (made out). This doesn't really upset me that much, as we are not dating and I have had sex with 3 girls while we have been hooking up.

Now the tricky part is that this happened at the same time as me stopping talking to her. So she is convinced that I am mad about the hook-up. She's tried talking to me a couple of times and I've basically ignored her.

So here's the issue:

I really like this girl, but it was clearly obvious that she was getting the power in the relationship (I was putting in all the effort to hang out etc). Therefore it was pretty clear I had to end it, or at the very least tone it down.

However this recent incident put the ball back in my court. She's been trying to get ahold of me and apparently she's been an absolute wreck while I haven't talked to her.

So the question is now that I have re-gained the power in this relationship, what should I do. I see the options as being

1) Talk to her, show her that I won't accept it but take her back (def not going this route)

2) Talk to her, tell her that it's done because of the incident (lie)

3) Talk to her, tell her that it's done because she's not putting out (truth haha)

4) Ignore her, let her sit and brood a while

5) Never talk to her again

6) Go out to the bars with the guys to the usual spot Saturday (I suspect she will be there)


So DJ's, I've finally got control in this relationship; what do you guys think I should do?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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K

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
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You've got power only so long as you never talk to or interact with her ever again.

You let her back in your life she may give you what you want but then qradually go cold fish again.

Why?

She's just not that attracted to you.

You don't light her fire.

Proof of that?

She hooks up with other guys immediately but you she blue balls forever and ever and ever.

Rollo sometimes posts something about this where he says sexual attraction is not something that is negotiated, it is a spontaneous event where two people just can't help but have eachother their moral codes, ethics and whatever other defenses be damned.

You don't create that smokey hot desire in her and she blue balled you.

She likely did this because she sensed you were weak and she could get away with it.

Anyway though read Metaphysical's "so you just got dumped" topic.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594

I know in this instance you two weren't actually an item officially and technically it was you that have dropped this girl for the moment but the reason I want you to read Metaphysical's topic and all his posts in it is because he details what you have to do in order to make this girl go insanely crazy over you and how you have to make her work to earn her way back into your life which is part of the mind control process you need to use on her.

Your girl sounds like a slvt and with slvts power and manipulation games are key so read Metaphysical's topic.

I have told you to check out Metaphysical's topic because I know you won't do the right thing which is to next this blue balling waste of time but still I want you to succeed even though you want to continue to persue her and what Metaphysical says in his topic is the way you can possibly do that.
 
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