Love has faded from my heart. Perhaps not the real genuine love that truly is supposed to last lifetimes or eternities. The so called love that has faded from within me was actually a whole group of lies masquerading as love. For when i offered my love, i was returned with a whole bunch of lies and charades. It has been a full year since i have calmly, impatiently, painfully, deductively, reasoned all the possibilities out of the disaster that became of the only female in my life up to this date, that i thought i had loved. Reality brought me to my senses along with the help of some of my friends that this so called woman who in my eye's remained as beautiful as the night sky was in fact actually a thief. This thief went around robbing men of all their happiness. Before me there were many who were robbed of their happiness and after me, or should i say directly four days after me another man was sucked into her fictitious falsehood of so called affection. However I do not hold anything against this women, for at least during that time i had experienced what happiness could be like. If not exactly along those lines, they would most definitely be similar. Not only have i learned from my experiences but spawning from the absence of my happiness was ambition. An ambition to strive to move further, faster, stronger, in ways that could not have sprung as fast as this minor setback has sparked in me. If anything, i should happily thank this woman. Her support during those times was vital into the reshaping of my future. Without her encouragement, support, and belief in me, i most likely would have shattered into irreplaceable pieces. The pain and suffering one endures when his whole life's happiness is stripped from him, then broken, and spat on only to be slightly repaired and broken again is unimaginable. Compared to jail, hunger, homelessness, solitude, these things can only be seen as a small fraction of the pain i went through. Death, seemed a more appropriate option at the time in place of the suffering that awaited me. Pain sparks constructive change as well as suffering. It brings knowledge that only comes from experience that is unattainable by books and lectures. This experience has brought me from the brink of despair into now what is before me. Chance, hope, and change. Chance lies before every man, it is his choice whether to take it or not, hope is instilled in every man, it is his choice whether to believe in it or not, and lastly is change. Change will come to every man and it is in his strength whether he can adapt to it or not.
10/16/2009
3:03pm
10/16/2009
3:03pm
