Challenging Cognitive Distortions.

[playa99]

Cognitive distortions keep us feeling bad about ourselves. They are inaccurate thoughts not based in reality. I see a lot of these around SoSuave & a lot of posters leaning into distortions. The most common one being "All women are (insert demonic character trait here)" This is not good & it's not true. Some posters pass this message on to vulnerable new members who don't get any better... they say they feel better, but in reality the new approach verges on nihilism.

A better way is to challenge distortions & improve the person. Change your beliefs & your life will change. Take ownership & change 'Women are evil' to 'I will be more assertive' or 'This woman was evil'.

By adopting a black & white approach, it only hinders YOU.

Look a the 15 most common distortions in the link below, what can you relate to? What can you change?

15 common distortions

Want to change unhealthy beliefs? Try this:

ABC Approach

Look at the people you listen to, do they deal in absolutes? Are they always right & their way is the only way? Do they blow up unnecessarily? Is there a balance in what they say?

 

[DelayedGratification]

Thank you for this. I've been quietly and internally translating a lot of the verbiage on here. "Women will trade-up at the first possible opportunity" becomes "People will trade-up...", and so on. I won't reject the notion that there are gender-specific proclivities in terms of behavior, socialization, and thought processes. But a huge chunk of the assignment of negative traits to women on SS are simply calling out negative traits that are simply human.

While I understand the frustration from which this is born, in the long run it's not terribly helpful.

 

[Kotaix]

Honestly, most of these "cognitive distortions" can be summed up in a few words: Thinking Too Much.

Clear your mind and deal with reality and all these non-existent problems fall away

 

[sosousage]

Cognitive distortions keep us feeling bad about ourselves. They are inaccurate thoughts not based in reality. I see a lot of these around SoSuave & a lot of posters leaning into distortions. The most common one being "All women are (insert demonic character trait here)" This is not good & it's not true. Some posters pass this message on to vulnerable new members who don't get any better... they say they feel better, but in reality the new approach verges on nihilism.

A better way is to challenge distortions & improve the person. Change your beliefs & your life will change. Take ownership & change 'Women are evil' to 'I will be more assertive' or 'This woman was evil'.

By adopting a black & white approach, it only hinders YOU.

Look a the 15 most common distortions in the link below, what can you relate to? What can you change?

15 common distortions

Want to change unhealthy beliefs? Try this:

ABC Approach

Look at the people you listen to, do they deal in absolutes? Are they always right & their way is the only way? Do they blow up unnecessarily? Is there a balance in what they say?

i have a lot of things from that list, or i had, before i stopped caring,partially,now i havess traits from it, but maybe still some

 

[redskinsfan92]

Thank you for this. I've been quietly and internally translating a lot of the verbiage on here. "Women will trade-up at the first possible opportunity" becomes "People will trade-up...", and so on. I won't reject the notion that there are gender-specific proclivities in terms of behavior, socialization, and thought processes. But a huge chunk of the assignment of negative traits to women on SS are simply calling out negative traits that are simply human.

While I understand the frustration from which this is born, in the long run it's not terribly helpful.

Only with the incorrect mindset are those traits perceived as negative.

 

[Epic Days]

The most common one being "All women are (insert demonic character trait here)"

they are not demonic. They are women. Yes, there are easily observable commonalities.

But I like it when men think there’s a unicorn in there somewhere. Someone born just for them. Lol

Oh the hope and longing.