Cell phone or email?

[Rubato]

I've been going back and forth on this one a lot lately and wanted to get your opinion. As you end an interaction with a woman you would like to communicate with further, what's the best communication source to get from her? The cell or email?

Deangelo was a big proponent of email in his DYD book, but that was written in 2005, over 6 years ago. Technology has been changing quickly - consider what type of mobile phone you had in 2005, if you even had one! Unless you're calling an actual brick and mortar business, do you even call landlines anymore? Do you even have a landline?

My point is, given the huge influx of communication methods available now, which one is the best to get from a girl? I would prefer the phone, because I think texting is very lame and a poor/wimpy/feminized form of communication. I think email may even be worse because it doesn't give you anymore communicative information than texting and takes longer. Facebook at least gives you a pictorial association with the person, but I don't have a Facebook anymore, and if I did, being "Facebook friends"... I mean, it's got the word FRIEND in it! And plus, it ruins the mystery. Why would I want a girl I'm trying to game to know whatever information I may have published on that website?

I have always number closed girls. I email/IM closed girls when I was younger and people didn't have cell phones like they do now. Since I've grown up, I've email closed 1 girl and never heard anything back (but it was probably because I sent her what may have been the world's dumbest message )

The problem with the number close is that I want to actually call the girl and speak with her to set up plans. When you get the number, guys get so bent out of shape about when they should call, what they should do, omgsh there isn't a post on SoSuave to tell me how many seconds should transpire between the number close and the first phone call omgsh omgsh

My strategy has always been to immediately text the girl my name so she has my number and then call her the next day or the day after, if she hasn't already communicated with me. I don't like to wait too long because as unforgettable as I am, women have forgotten much more important things than me. The problem is that when I do call, about 75% of the girls don't answer and I leave a message along the lines of "Hey this is Rubato, call me back". If I'm feeling especially feisty I'll say "Oh my gosh HB, this is Rubato... call me back as soon as you can, I've got something REALLY important to tell you!!".

Of those girls who didn't answer, maybe 25% will not call me back, but text me back. They obviously don't like to talk on the phone. I have even asked some about this and they say just as much. When one of the first 25% group of girls answers the phone, at least half of them are obviously uncomfortable with the fact that they're having a conversation on the phone. I do not understand this.

So I'm dealing with about a 50% flake rate with the phone close.

Do you guys think the phone is still the best way to go? I haven't tried anything else but I'm pretty opposed to the idea of asking a girl I'm trying to pickup to be my Facebook friend. And I don't see much of a fundamental difference between email and text.

Once you get the number, is it time to just give up the whole trying to call the girl thing and just give in to the masses and play this stupid text game?

Thoughts, opinions (on this rather disjointed thread... I didn't write this one very well.)?

 

[Mike32ct]

Cell phone numbers are the way to go. Whether you call or text or use a combination thereof is up to you.

Email takes too long to get a reply.

Social media sites are too much drama for me.

 

[spinaroonie]

I think the difference in results between "very good" and merely "good" phone/text game is smaller than you'd expect. If I have a very clever text for a chick who isn't into me, she may respond, but not agree to meet up.

I've alternated between texting to call and texting only. I think texting to call is at least as good, and it makes it way easier to set up a date. And young girls by and large do not pick up phone calls from unknown numbers. Even if they do have your number, they're desperately afraid of 'awkwardness' and will not pick up. Texting her after that is kind of awkward - she will feel bad for ignoring you and will not want to face her rudeness by talking to you. Sending a clever text or two first is superior.

But if you text her first, you've warmed her up. She starts thinking, "this guy's funny and cool." Like OP said, young college girls avoid awkwardness at all costs. If you've never heard the term 'awkward turtle,' all this may come as a surprise to you. 'Awkwardness' is a constant topic of conversations on campus.

I usually text "Got a sec?" as my transition line, after a clever text or two. If they say yes, I call them.

Young girls have never had, or very rarely have, solid phone conversations with eligible men. So if you can pull it off, you're a step closer.

-basilransom

 

[Serg897]

Cell phone is the way to go. Email seems too impersonal, and not everyone checks their email regularly.

I always do a number swap (I call them after they give me their number so they have mine). I think this increases the chance they will answer when I call if they had a good interaction with me - its not a mysterious number. On rare occasions sometimes they will even call text/first when you do this. This does not happen very often but it does happen - and as soon as it does you know you are in. I also typically wait 4-5 days after I get the number to call.

If they dont answer at first I dont leave a message. Honestly more than half of the ones that dont answer their phones initially end up being flakes in the end, especially if you call during a time when they are very likely to be near their phones (Sunday night at 8:30, for example). I ussually try again one more time a few days later and leave a message before giving up.