I'm sure the title itself will get a lot of responses, with alot of you beating your chests screaming "This is not the way of the DJ." Well hear me out for a minute because I'm going to address a problem that is starting to appear on this board.
The Don Juan versus the Man*****.
The purpose of a Don Juan is to first and foremost achieve a quality of living that is most pleasing to him. Allowing him to be able to enjoy and get the most out of life. He acts, dresses, thinks and speaks an attitude that reflects confidence and self-respect. Women are an biproduct of this activity, of course when they do come a DJs way he knows what to do and how to act. A typical Don Juan will tend to consider women between the scale of 7.5-9 (There is no 10) to date, bang, and fool around with. Though he will keep the company of other women as friends of course.
The Man***** is quite a different character, his mindset is all about getting laid. He is not AFC because he is able to get laid by women. But not the kind of women a DJ seeks to attract. His skill is nothing compared to the DJ, he will lie, use alcohol to excess to help in his quest to get laid; and take the shotgun approach to women.
The Shotgun approach
This approach is to hit on basically any woman who appears to be single, or by themselves at the moment. One girl could be a 7 another a 5, then maybe a 9 and after that as the night wanes and becomes more desperate a bunch of 4s will do. Even if he scores with a 4 he will hail it as a victory as if he landed a 9. Obiviously no self respecting DJ would do this, if we break our standards we break the process we are undergoing to constantly become that better DJ.
The problem
A lot of posts here are starting to have the same theme to them. A lot of the fledgling DJs are not seeing the results they want. They become despondent and fire off a volley posts on this board about that problem. They then review all the tips, advice and field reports seeking to find some "magic bullet" approach that will allow them to pick up women like an industrial magnet is used to pick up scrap iron. Finally the begin to go out and justify settling for second best, to throw themselves at any girl in hopes of attaining a result and calling it progress. They gain a false sense of confidence and when they decide its time to approach a good looking girl the lack the real skills to convince her he is the prize. After a string of new failures he takes the shotgun approach hoping to land something in fear of "regressing to an AFC." He has become a man ***** because he accepts 5s and lower and acceptable 1 night stands and even girl friends. Once again this is different from being an AFC in fact its worse because at least an AFC has standards as opposed to the man***** who will chase after anything just to get laid. An AFC will at least chase 7s and above even though he has no idea what he is doing. The man***** knows what he is doing, but convinces himself he is doing right.
Solving this problem
First off if you don't see any girls worth hitting on, you do not have to hit on them. You do not go the mall, clubs, parties or anywhere with the purpose to just hit on women. You go their for your personal enjoyment. When you do fail to pick up a woman, which will happen to all of us at least more than once cause in life nothing is perfect. Do not coming running here looking at the advice that was given to you and try to figure out where the mechanics of how the adivce or tip ideally works. We do not live in an ideal world, so nothing is going to turn out ideally. What you should do is look at what you did and how she reacted to what you did, instead of tailoring your actions to advice at face value, tailor your improvements to fixing your own game. Use our advice as not rules or holy writ, but as simply advice something to point you in the right direction so long as you take the spirit of the advice and not the advice itself and put that to use in your game.
The metaphor about advice.
Advice is this, when you are completely lost in the dark, turning to advice is like turning on a flashlight, it will light your path but it is not the path itself.
-Grey Fox
The Don Juan versus the Man*****.
The purpose of a Don Juan is to first and foremost achieve a quality of living that is most pleasing to him. Allowing him to be able to enjoy and get the most out of life. He acts, dresses, thinks and speaks an attitude that reflects confidence and self-respect. Women are an biproduct of this activity, of course when they do come a DJs way he knows what to do and how to act. A typical Don Juan will tend to consider women between the scale of 7.5-9 (There is no 10) to date, bang, and fool around with. Though he will keep the company of other women as friends of course.
The Man***** is quite a different character, his mindset is all about getting laid. He is not AFC because he is able to get laid by women. But not the kind of women a DJ seeks to attract. His skill is nothing compared to the DJ, he will lie, use alcohol to excess to help in his quest to get laid; and take the shotgun approach to women.
The Shotgun approach
This approach is to hit on basically any woman who appears to be single, or by themselves at the moment. One girl could be a 7 another a 5, then maybe a 9 and after that as the night wanes and becomes more desperate a bunch of 4s will do. Even if he scores with a 4 he will hail it as a victory as if he landed a 9. Obiviously no self respecting DJ would do this, if we break our standards we break the process we are undergoing to constantly become that better DJ.
The problem
A lot of posts here are starting to have the same theme to them. A lot of the fledgling DJs are not seeing the results they want. They become despondent and fire off a volley posts on this board about that problem. They then review all the tips, advice and field reports seeking to find some "magic bullet" approach that will allow them to pick up women like an industrial magnet is used to pick up scrap iron. Finally the begin to go out and justify settling for second best, to throw themselves at any girl in hopes of attaining a result and calling it progress. They gain a false sense of confidence and when they decide its time to approach a good looking girl the lack the real skills to convince her he is the prize. After a string of new failures he takes the shotgun approach hoping to land something in fear of "regressing to an AFC." He has become a man ***** because he accepts 5s and lower and acceptable 1 night stands and even girl friends. Once again this is different from being an AFC in fact its worse because at least an AFC has standards as opposed to the man***** who will chase after anything just to get laid. An AFC will at least chase 7s and above even though he has no idea what he is doing. The man***** knows what he is doing, but convinces himself he is doing right.
Solving this problem
First off if you don't see any girls worth hitting on, you do not have to hit on them. You do not go the mall, clubs, parties or anywhere with the purpose to just hit on women. You go their for your personal enjoyment. When you do fail to pick up a woman, which will happen to all of us at least more than once cause in life nothing is perfect. Do not coming running here looking at the advice that was given to you and try to figure out where the mechanics of how the adivce or tip ideally works. We do not live in an ideal world, so nothing is going to turn out ideally. What you should do is look at what you did and how she reacted to what you did, instead of tailoring your actions to advice at face value, tailor your improvements to fixing your own game. Use our advice as not rules or holy writ, but as simply advice something to point you in the right direction so long as you take the spirit of the advice and not the advice itself and put that to use in your game.
The metaphor about advice.
Advice is this, when you are completely lost in the dark, turning to advice is like turning on a flashlight, it will light your path but it is not the path itself.
-Grey Fox