"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Caught her lying. Questions about trust. Anyone?

NewMan

Master Don Juan
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Slicks - from reading your posts your obviously a logical thinker - and your taking youre time to figure out this situation.

Not that I believed her but she went on to explain how she had been in an abusive relationship with another guy for quite some time. She wanted out for awhile and when they finally split she fell into the players arms/bed. Not really a great excuse to me. Kind of raised some red flags in my mind too. Hmmm. But as someone said its not a good idea to think about your girlfriend's sexual past. Believe me its hard not to imagine some deep dark sh!t after hearing about past abusive BF's and her sleeping with dirty dog player guy
I know this is hard and thinking of her sexual past is hard. I sometimes believe that not discussing it is the way to go - And perhaps this is one of the reasons why she did not tell you - immature I know - but people make mistakes.

I'd also like to take the other side of the fence and say that how many of us here have ran to another chick after the end of a relationship? I'm sure that this player is just that - and he jumps on girls who are vunerable - and this is what your girlfriend was - vunerable. So she found some comfort and solice with him after her abusive BF. I don't know the details - but if she was in an abusive relationship - then it must have been hard on her.

This should be taken into consideration.

Is this an excuse to lie to you?

Nope.

But, by the sounds of her past, she's not been in good relationships - and has not been with someone understanding. Who knows.

But she's remorsfull.

Your close to the issue here - so your in a better position to judge.

I'd recommned you explain to her how important honesty is in a relationship - and that you will not tollerate this again.

If she's worth it, overlook this and move on.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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InLawsHateMe

Master Don Juan
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Your welcome... anytime......


Just try to let it go... the more it's brought up, the more the air is filled with drama. Wouldn't you rather go back to joking, and laughing, having sex? Instead of giving your brains a melt down trying to think so much? She said it was nothing, her tears were out of hopelessness, like she's so tired of this jealousy trip... just start over... do something with her that's fun, like asap... that's if you still want to be with her... it's going to require some damage control put in place.
 
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