guys (and girls)
i'm in an odd situation and any thoughts would be appreciated:
i've been seeing girl A on and off for a couple of years. there was always a sense of being in a relationship in some way. we live a way apart and things are pretty stagnant due to this and burgeoning careers etc, but i have strong feelings for her (as it turns out: read on). we see each other maybe once a week and each is familiar with the other's family etc. she has accepted that my situation and age makes it inevitable that i will occasionally be otherwise engaged sexually, and that she can deal with this because it has to happen for me to be able to commit, though she never wants to hear about it.
i met girl B three weeks ago at law school. massive chemistry, very smart, 10DD, keen as mustard. i tell her the situation with girl A, but I don't know if I conveyed it properly because she ended up in my bed last night. we didn't fukk because i was feeling odd about it but the dirty talk, nudity and tongue play amounted to the same thing anyway. A's and another girls stuff is around my room and I'm wearing a ring with 'love A 2005' which B notes.
the chemistry with girl B was/is insane and I couldn't resist it. i kind of missed out on these girls early on at university and part of me is thinking it will make me less edgy with girl A if i've spread some loving before finishing uni and really committing to her for good. so consider the following:
1. this morning after B left, i felt so guilty i was almost physically ill. i didn't expect this and i am freaked. if it had been a ONS with full sex but less intellectual desire and intimacy i would be ok with it as i have been in the past.
2. it can't last with B and I have to make that clearer. however (yes, greedy) i value her friendship and i even think that a good movie meltdown fukk (her phrase) amongst the bookshelves would clear the air and resolve things and allow me to keep her around. this isn't inconceivable; as passionate and genuine as she is, i can tell she's been around and knows the score. or it would drive me insane with guilt.
3. i don't want to hurt B. but i can't cut ties with A. i adore them both.
so far i've resolved to tell B how i feel. she doesn't really want to be the other woman but knows i've got ties elsewhere. this could blow up in my face; i've been seriously fukking foolish. i have this idiotically idyllic dream of us being occasional FBs and me getting more serious with A.
also, this could be me subconsciously forcing my hand as far as cutting ties with A goes. i feel strongly about her but our situations make it difficult. however, i can't bring myself to it at this stage; it's the emotional connection and the history (rather than cowardice hopefully).
so i tell B to cool off and explain that my heart isn't on the market like i thought it was, and risk hurting her. at this early stage, not having taken her like an animal like she wants, i can probably still do that if i can make it clear to her what her priorities need to be for it to go where she wants.
or i just go balls deep in B and tell A i need to spread my loving, come back in two years when i'm clerking and the puzz isn't surrounding my raging hormones with temptation.
what i can't do is lie to A or B. this is the crucial juncture; any further and i am over the wire and in no man's land.
i'm in australia, any more context just ask. i hope i have made some sort of sense. any light that can be shed, experiences shared, warnings etc, will help me think it through. my friends are almost exclusively of the 'fukk em both and ride that puppy all the way to ground zero' persuasion...
maybe i need to harden my heart and roll with it, but if you don't have your principles, what do you have? feelings cannot be chosen, only selectively suppressed.
your thoughts?
i'm in an odd situation and any thoughts would be appreciated:
i've been seeing girl A on and off for a couple of years. there was always a sense of being in a relationship in some way. we live a way apart and things are pretty stagnant due to this and burgeoning careers etc, but i have strong feelings for her (as it turns out: read on). we see each other maybe once a week and each is familiar with the other's family etc. she has accepted that my situation and age makes it inevitable that i will occasionally be otherwise engaged sexually, and that she can deal with this because it has to happen for me to be able to commit, though she never wants to hear about it.
i met girl B three weeks ago at law school. massive chemistry, very smart, 10DD, keen as mustard. i tell her the situation with girl A, but I don't know if I conveyed it properly because she ended up in my bed last night. we didn't fukk because i was feeling odd about it but the dirty talk, nudity and tongue play amounted to the same thing anyway. A's and another girls stuff is around my room and I'm wearing a ring with 'love A 2005' which B notes.
the chemistry with girl B was/is insane and I couldn't resist it. i kind of missed out on these girls early on at university and part of me is thinking it will make me less edgy with girl A if i've spread some loving before finishing uni and really committing to her for good. so consider the following:
1. this morning after B left, i felt so guilty i was almost physically ill. i didn't expect this and i am freaked. if it had been a ONS with full sex but less intellectual desire and intimacy i would be ok with it as i have been in the past.
2. it can't last with B and I have to make that clearer. however (yes, greedy) i value her friendship and i even think that a good movie meltdown fukk (her phrase) amongst the bookshelves would clear the air and resolve things and allow me to keep her around. this isn't inconceivable; as passionate and genuine as she is, i can tell she's been around and knows the score. or it would drive me insane with guilt.
3. i don't want to hurt B. but i can't cut ties with A. i adore them both.
so far i've resolved to tell B how i feel. she doesn't really want to be the other woman but knows i've got ties elsewhere. this could blow up in my face; i've been seriously fukking foolish. i have this idiotically idyllic dream of us being occasional FBs and me getting more serious with A.
also, this could be me subconsciously forcing my hand as far as cutting ties with A goes. i feel strongly about her but our situations make it difficult. however, i can't bring myself to it at this stage; it's the emotional connection and the history (rather than cowardice hopefully).
so i tell B to cool off and explain that my heart isn't on the market like i thought it was, and risk hurting her. at this early stage, not having taken her like an animal like she wants, i can probably still do that if i can make it clear to her what her priorities need to be for it to go where she wants.
or i just go balls deep in B and tell A i need to spread my loving, come back in two years when i'm clerking and the puzz isn't surrounding my raging hormones with temptation.
what i can't do is lie to A or B. this is the crucial juncture; any further and i am over the wire and in no man's land.
i'm in australia, any more context just ask. i hope i have made some sort of sense. any light that can be shed, experiences shared, warnings etc, will help me think it through. my friends are almost exclusively of the 'fukk em both and ride that puppy all the way to ground zero' persuasion...
maybe i need to harden my heart and roll with it, but if you don't have your principles, what do you have? feelings cannot be chosen, only selectively suppressed.
your thoughts?
