"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Casually dating a BPD

Brandonc662

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I've searched the forums and cannot find the post on how to properly date a BPD. Does anyone have the link, I know there are some people on here that have mastered this. Before you start with all the "don't" and "run" comments, I know not to become emotionally involved, I just want to keep this plate as a casual fling.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Zodiac

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There is no proper way. Its like playing Russian Roulette: eventually its gonna come back to bite you and might kill you.

You might want one thing but in her mind all these signs you give her show interest and feed her ego to the point that she thinks you are more serious than you intend it to be.

Its literally impossible to be casual with them. You can try but you'll just get sucked into her drama or she'll spin you as a bad guy to a mangina on her speed dial to create drama just for giggles inhopes of him confront you to give her something to kill time for before her 3pm nail appointment or for her to read about through texts during her tanning appointment.

These things are devil spawn. Take it as a big sign that you cant find the post you want to find and there is so much negativity attached to them. There's a reason that no one that tangled with a BPD is giving them a thumbs up and has married them.
 

Brandonc662

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
impossible with a BPD. They have an emotional disorder and you want to emotionally manipulate them into a casual relationship?
The way you say it it sounds so bad. I say I want to keep things the way they are now.
 

Iceberg

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Brandonc662 said:
I've searched the forums and cannot find the post on how to properly date a BPD.
Did you consider that there might be a reason that you can't find any posts on how to properly date a BPD?

Usually at the point when you determine that she's a BPD is the point when you realize that dating her will lead to trouble.

It's like asking, "Are there any tips on how to live in your house while it's still on fire?"

Brandonc662 said:
The way you say it it sounds so bad. I say I want to keep things the way they are now.
Then keep doing what you've done.
 

Zodiac

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Brandonc662 said:
The way you say it it sounds so bad. I say I want to keep things the way they are now.
Eventually they will change when she wants more. At that point get ready for hell to begin.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Victory Unlimited

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Casually dating a BPD

The last guy I knew who tried to "casually" date a BPD wound up "seriously" filing a restraining order on her.

This is an ill-advised mission you're choosing to go on, soldier.
 

BigSmooth

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BPD? What's it short for?
 

horaholic

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I'll be looking forward to future threads from you about how this chick ruined your life.

BTW, how do you even know she's BPD? Its VERY hard to know unless you've dated her/or another one, which you obviously haven't.
 

Brandonc662

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horaholic said:
I'll be looking forward to future threads from you about how this chick ruined your life.

BTW, how do you even know she's BPD? Its VERY hard to know unless you've dated her/or another one, which you obviously haven't.
I was married to a HPD. To tell you the truth, I would have just thought she was another girl with high interest, but she told me she was a diagnosed BPD and sees a therapist for it. So I know not to take it any where near a relationship level with this girl but she is fun to hang out with (for now) and she pays for everything (which is nice because I am unemployed right now).
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jafyk

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Guys please leave the OP alone. He seems to think he's special and can casually date a BPD, lol. You know in life some things are best experienced. At least we told him. Smh.
 

Iceberg

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bradd80 said:
LMAO surely there must be someone out there who has successfully managed to enjoy long term, regular, mind blowing sex with a BPD without getting totally f*cked over by the experience??
I have casually dated a BDP chick for a fair amount of time. And I wasn't f**ked over by the experience. But here is the issue:

Casually dating a REAL BPD chick involves the same amount of effort involved in a real relationship with a normal chick. It's not as simple as "I call BPD chick at 2am, she comes by, we screw, and she goes home."

Even if it's just casual, even if it's just for the sex, you're dealing with mood swings, attention wh0ring, the anger that comes when you don't respond to their attention wh0ring, drunken drama, attempts at creating jealousy.

It just makes you realize "Okay, I saw this girl naked. I banged her 30 different ways. I've accomplished everything I wanted to with this girl. It's not worth dealing with this sh!t over an extended period of time."

What I notice is this: Even when you ignore her BPD attempts at drama, all the chick will do is ESCALATE the drama in an attempt to get some kind of reaction. You're not going to tame the girl. And ignoring her doesn't work, and sometimes makes things worse. So you end up putting yourself in a "casual relationship" with a ticking time bomb.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Brandonc662

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Iceberg said:
I have casually dated a BDP chick for a fair amount of time. And I wasn't f**ked over by the experience. But here is the issue:

Casually dating a REAL BPD chick involves the same amount of effort involved in a real relationship with a normal chick. It's not as simple as "I call BPD chick at 2am, she comes by, we screw, and she goes home."

Even if it's just casual, even if it's just for the sex, you're dealing with mood swings, attention wh0ring, the anger that comes when you don't respond to their attention wh0ring, drunken drama, attempts at creating jealousy.

It just makes you realize "Okay, I saw this girl naked. I banged her 30 different ways. I've accomplished everything I wanted to with this girl. It's not worth dealing with this sh!t over an extended period of time."

What I notice is this: Even when you ignore her BPD attempts at drama, all the chick will do is ESCALATE the drama in an attempt to get some kind of reaction. You're not going to tame the girl. And ignoring her doesn't work, and sometimes makes things worse. So you end up putting yourself in a "casual relationship" with a ticking time bomb.
So what is the problem with having fun until the honeymoon period is over? Why not have fun and have great sex until unwanted behaviors arise and using as that as your reason to bounce?
 

Iceberg

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Brandonc662 said:
So what is the problem with having fun until the honeymoon period is over? Why not have fun and have great sex until unwanted behaviors arise and using as that as your reason to bounce?

Other than the problems I listed, there is no problem, I guess.

Hey, I'm just some random dude on the internet. You should do what works for you.

If you like her, go get her.
 

user99321

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Brandonc662 said:
So what is the problem with having fun until the honeymoon period is over? Why not have fun and have great sex until unwanted behaviors arise and using as that as your reason to bounce?
Instead of spending your valuable time on earth with someone that WILL end terribly, you could be going out and finding someone that you can have fun with and might have potential.

Why don't people eat Big Macs every day until they start getting really fat?
Why don't people smoke for fun and just stop once they become addicted?
 

WC2

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There is no winning in any way when dating a BPD chick. The outrageous sex will never make up for the long lasting heart break/depression you'll be in for.

PM me if you really want more details. I dated a BPD chick for 3 years.
 

bigneil

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The OP is an anomaly.

Even after you stop caring about your BPD and legitimately want to be friends (like one year after the breakup) they will still try and get to you by randomly ending conversations, etc.

Further, it seems the only cure for a BPD is another "wrong" girl.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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