Casual SEX!!!

[MysteryWoman]

I have just read the article on Casual sex, and although I find it interesting from a sexually evolution point, I don't completely agree with it.

One it says that women can't separate sex and romance, and views every lover as a potential husband. Although I am not one to spill the beans on my private love life on this board (otherwise I wouldn't be MysteryWoman) I can definately admit that I haven't viewed every lover as a potentional husband (unless women do this unconsciously and not consciously). And if this is the truth, then why have women in our western world become more sexually permissive? Are they using it as a form of power to manipulate men, or do they simply just enjoy sex as they now have the freedom thanks to the availability of contraception.

However I definately agree with women not liking sexually agressive men. There is nothing more creepish than a guy who won't take no as an answer and sets out to invade your space.

But I disagree with men trying it on the second date. I think a man should be gentleman and not sexually try on with a woman until the third date. Before then let the woman be the one left to initate.

I get sick and tired of guys that ask for sex on the first date, it kills my interest level. Deep down I have always fantasised about being the first one to seduce the guy, but because guys get so horny straight away I have never and don't think I will ever get the chance to fulfil this fantasy.

So what is your opinion of the article and experience with previous girlfriends and ONS? I'd really also like to hear girls opinions on this site.

Thanks

Mystery

 

[squirrels]

Romance is hard to separate from sex because, in traditional families from conservative times, romance led to sex. So when there was sex, romance was assumed.

In these times, it's easier for people to separate sex and romance, but we're all raised on the belief that this is WRONG and morally reprehensible. Even though we don't consciously buy into it, on some subconscious level we've all heard it and it works on all of us.

Human beings ARE social animals, so it's difficult to have intimacy with someone without forming SOME kind of bond, even if it's only a "f**k-buddy" bond, one that allows you to enjoy sex together. You don't just f**k random strangers on the street wtihout getting to know them on SOME kind of level. Thus your "three dates".

However, if you got unusually comfortable with someone on the first date and were turned on by him, I'll bet you you'd end up in bed with him...thinking to yourself, "What am I DOING?!" the whole time you were enjoying his c*ck in you.

I've had f**k-buddies where I know that's all it is and so does she. I HAVE entertained thoughts of a more long-term relationship because it's natural to do so...we've been raised that way to associate sex and love. But when I think about them, I know they're just idle thoughts. We would never work out as a couple...so we stay friends and f**k when we can.

I've also lost good f**k-buddies and friends-with-benefits because I felt bad about being in a sex-only relationship. Looking back on it, it was GREAT, but I still ahd that social upbringing in the back of my head that said, "You should start DATING this girl in earnest". And it f**ked me good. Sent me into a depression for like 6 months.

As for guys who want sex on the first date...they ALL do. And you do too...you just want to be more comfortable with him...and if that comfort level doesn't develop maybe you WON'T f**k him. The reason you're so turned off by guys who ask for sex on the first date is because it shows desperation. They're ready to bang you without knowing anything about you, without qualifying you...they just want something to stick their c*ck into and you want to be something more to your man...something special. You want him to feel like, when he sexes you, that he's really got something special. That he could hook up with any trash barfly he wanted, but he chose YOU.

BTW, why are you looking for girls' opinions on SoSuave??

 

[KingPinp]

Seduction differs from woman to woman, sometimes its better to wait, other times its better to hit it and leave. I dont see the force of your point. yes some women like the three dates rule, other wonna **** you and never speak with u again.

 

[Jariel]

I get sick and tired of guys that ask for sex on the first date, it kills my interest level. Deep down I have always fantasised about being the first one to seduce the guy, but because guys get so horny straight away I have never and don't think I will ever get the chance to fulfil this fantasy.

I'll agree with you on this based on my own experience. If I like a woman and I want to see her again, I won't have sex on the first date, no matter what. I'll go back to her place, make out, but I will (and have) outright refuse sex.

This works incredibly well every time. It seems to raise her respect, raise the challenge and raise the anticipation. It also shows that you are in control, that you are not desperate and separates you from the average horny guy. I don't know this for a fact, but I expect it gives the woman a sense of accomplishment when you do have sex.

 

[MysteryWoman]

Actually I'm not against sex on first dates or one night stands. I know that most guys and even women (if she is really attracted) would like to have sex straight away. I just get taken a back when a guy is forward enough to ask without even getting around to the first good night kiss. Or a guy E-Mailing you after the first date and asking for it instantly.

 

[Chemistry]

I know so many girls that will **** on a physical attraction basis... nothin serious there, feelings etc they just want some... ESPECIALLY these career women today, too many goals to settle down and have a relationship at the minute, but they've had enough of their personal sex toys...

As far as casual sex in the respect of a **** buddy, then it is dangerous... I know a few who can be cool with what is in a sense a business relationship, but too many opt for it in the hope that it will lead to somethin more then start gettin all clingy and expectin some GF treatment

 

[Hot Ice]

Deep down I have always fantasised about being the first one to seduce the guy, but because guys get so horny straight away I have never and don't think I will ever get the chance to fulfil this fantasy.

!

I'm banging my head to the table here...
First of all, I have a fantasy like that too.
An attractive girl seducing me first...

But how damn LONG you need to take time to do that seduction then?????????

Isn't three weeks or more enough time for a girl to get those girly brains work that THEY could do the sexual intiation...
Chicks are like "I wonder why he haven't triyng to seduce me yet. I think I'll find d!ck somewhere else then..."

I mean, I wouldn't mind a chick (I HAPPEN TO LIKE!) seducing me even once.

 

[Big Pappy]

I guess I've been living under a rock - what article on casual sex?

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
Actually I'm not against sex on first dates or one night stands. I know that most guys and even women (if she is really attracted) would like to have sex straight away. I just get taken a back when a guy is forward enough to ask without even getting around to the first good night kiss. Or a guy E-Mailing you after the first date and asking for it instantly.

You mean there are actually clowns who ASK for sex? Like, "Can we have sex tonight?"

That sounds so absurdly pathetic...it's like, "Suck me, beautiful" from American Pie, only worse. LOL

Real men don't ask, they just take. And if the woman denies them, the time just isn't right.

 

[tristan22]

I can attract females, however i can never achieve a one night stand with them. Sometimes a girl will want to come home with me, however her flakey friends c_ck block and intervene and my potential one night stand goes up in smoke.

Does anybody else have this problem?

 

[MysteryWoman]

Originally posted by tristan22
I can attract females, however i can never achieve a one night stand with them. Sometimes a girl will want to come home with me, however her flakey friends c_ck block and intervene and my potential one night stand goes up in smoke.

Does anybody else have this problem?

Prehaps you are making them feel sleazy rather than sexy. Don't use words like dirty ***** or slut, because this will be perceived as girls as a form of abuse rather than taking dirty.

 

[Hot Ice]

No replies??
I guess I was rigth then..

That sounds so absurdly pathetic...it's like, "Suck me, beautiful" from American Pie, only worse. LOL

Hahahaaa I LOVE that line

 

[Porky]

Originally posted by Hot Ice
!

I'm banging my head to the table here...
First of all, I have a fantasy like that too.
An attractive girl seducing me first...

But how damn LONG you need to take time to do that seduction then?????????

Isn't three weeks or more enough time for a girl to get those girly brains work that THEY could do the sexual intiation...
Chicks are like "I wonder why he haven't triyng to seduce me yet. I think I'll find d!ck somewhere else then..."

I mean, I wouldn't mind a chick (I HAPPEN TO LIKE!) seducing me even once.

this happened to me once at a party. a friend of mine just started coming on to me and would not stop.

...and it was awesome.

 

[Luveno]

Tristan22,

girls, when in a group, ****block. Most girls, from my observations, are in competition when they go to a bar. If one of them actually lands a guy, the rest of them get offensive and try to stop her. I've been ****blocked many times. The girls can go from just trying to talk their friend away, to blatantly insluting me. It doesn't frustrate me though because I know I'd have had her if her friends didn't get in the way.

There is no force that affects the female psyche more powerfully than jealousy. C'est la vie.

If you really want to have sex with a woman on your first meeting, go on a date. Be suave and intelligent and interesting. I have had more luck getting sex after a first date than from a girl I met at a club.


MysteryWoman,

Girls want sex. They also want control. In today's Western society, girls are given more control than guys in many aspects of life; this includes dating. Even the whole attitude that "women do the choosing" is defeating for males. It could be true just because our western cultural values tells us that this is the way it is. If it had've said "men do the choosing" you bet people would believe that, and the roles would be reversed....but back on topic.

The main reason girl's say they don't want sex is social stigma. For hundreds of years, girls had to be "pure" for their husbands, otherwise they were sinner trash. Now, people are more open to sharing their sexual desires. That little stigma still lays in the back of everyone's mind though. Hence, the notion of "slut".

Another observation:

In today's world, women and men can occupy the same jobs, get paid the same, and basically be equal in those ways. Women do have ONE advantage that men do not have though: sex. Women can flaunt sex and have men drool and supplicate to get her sex. They can, and do, use it to climb the social ladder.
Spreading the mindset of a DJ is important because as men, we can't allow women to use sex for ulterior motives. The DJ mindset evens out the playing field.

 

[MysteryWoman]

I can't speak for all girls Hot Ice, because women have different fantasises and some are not interested in being the one to seduce the guy at all.

I would make the first move after several dates if given the chance.

My fantasy is to seduce a stranger, I fancy him but have absolutely have no idea or have been given any signals whether he likes him or not. But I approach plan and initate the whole thing when he is least expecting it. But it doesn't matter whether or not I have any thing to do with him after that.

But in real life, I don't think I'd have the guts to carry out this seduction fantasy.

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
However I definately agree with women not liking sexually agressive men. There is nothing more creepish than a guy who won't take no as an answer and sets out to invade your space.

But I disagree with men trying it on the second date. I think a man should be gentleman and not sexually try on with a woman until the third date. Before then let the woman be the one left to initate.


But in real life, I don't think I'd have the guts to carry out this seduction fantasy.

Yeah eh.... it's a balance of tensions/dance whatever you wanna call it. You push too hard you ruin it, it snaps... you try to play too cool and then "there's just no chemistry"

You gave an excellent tip above: make them feel sexy, not sleazy.

Some women want to be swept off their feet (and panties) while others want power to do the sweeping themselves... Tricky! All comes down to how you read the situation.