"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Caring too much with others think

mahon83050

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Is this a sign of low self esteem or insecurity? I tend to care what others think way too much ( I must of inherited it from my mom)

For example, I always worry if I am with an attractive girl, other guys (strangers) will hate on me just because I am with an attractive girl.

I mean, I usually do not go hating on other guys cause they have a cute girl with them.

I'm constantly thinking too much. If I see a guy who is with a girl better looking than him, I always think..."Gee, I wonder if that guy gets hated on alot because of that.

I am just strange in my beliefs or this normal?

Then again, I suffer from an anxiety disorder, so it could just be my brain playing tricks with me.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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mahon83050 said:
Is this a sign of low self esteem or insecurity? ...
Yep, but also that you have not yet defined yourself by your own terms. Until you do you will be ever shifting into who you believe people would like you to be. But you can't blame them, they have no idea who you really are.
 

john_1234

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You have absolutely no idea what others are really thinking. you aren't a "mindreader." moreover, even if you did know for sure what others were thinking, you shouldn't give a **** anyways. I can relate because I used to be very self-conscious, cared way too much what others thought of me. There are a lot of books/resources out there that will assist you in reprogramming your brain so youl'll think more rationally. Overcoming this didn't happen overnight, but trust me, life is so much better when you're carefree and determine your own self-worth.
 

CLOONEY

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Sounds like paranoia, as you said, your anxiety disorder.

You can be as comfortable with yourself as you want, but if you get anxiety, you will think irrationally.

If your always like this, 100% of the time, then its probably more than anxiety, more like a very big insecurity issue.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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CLOONEY

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john_1234 said:
You have absolutely no idea what others are really thinking. you aren't a "mindreader."
Absolutely true.

I have been in numerous situations in my life, namely times when I am starting a new job, or travelling around with a new group of people in unfamilar countries (I did this for a couple of years), where I have wondered what people thought of me. In these times, I have no idea what others thought of me, and at times, I thought I was a bit of an outcast. But as always, turns out I am usually one of the most liked people there. It was just my own paranoia playing tricks with me.

Dont guess what others are thinking of you, because 99% of the time, you have no idea!

And if your with a good looking girl, hold your head up high, she deserves to be with you.
 

DjDreamer

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Caring too much about what other's think is like a ship at sea having no motor or anchor... every wind of thought blows the ship in whatever direction... best to focus on what you think and not what other's think or "might" think... waste of energy... best to not have a guesy but clear reality...
 

skeeloo

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youre all wise men. good replies. was in the same boat few months ago. im over it now though i think. though my paranoia has some how transformed into anger.anger of people expecting steroetypical things from me cuss im half black.
 
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