"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Career advice....should I move for no raise?

speed dawg

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To keep this as simple as possible, a few years ago my company acquired another company in a different market area. They also moved me to that office to start another business line. I got a raise and promotion and they paid for the move.

Well, fast forward 3+ years, my company's brass ended up parting ways with the guys from the original company they acquired. Nobody really knows exact reasons, but let's just say their business plans for the office did not align. Well, now it's just me and one other guy in this office. This office sort of has a stink of the 'failed project' too, although through no fault of my own. The company brass has made it clear they want to keep me, and we've discussed moving me back to the town I came from (or another town in which we have an office). Most likely they will be shutting this office down around October unless we just pull in a huge job. Well, that's not likely to happen....we just don't have the in-roads right now....our production has been stripped.

My question is, should I move to another city with my company, assuming they pay for the move? I've always heard not to move anywhere without a promotion, and this move would be, at best, a lateral move. Now, one thing to consider, it would be a town that I'm thinking about moving to anyway, which is much closer to family. I'm just conflicted on taking a lateral move. I want to be moving forward in this corporate game, not backwards.

I guess the only way to do that is to give them a reason to keep me, ie have other jobs potentially lined up? Or do something good right before it happens to make them want to fight to keep me? Who knows. This business stuff is frustrating for sure.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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twentee

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Sounds like you've not been investing your money wisely, while living as cheaply as possible. If you have been, why worry? Once you've got a decent income from your investments, why work for anybody other than yourself? Counting on others for your income and your future is a very, very bad idea.
 

FairShake

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It may be a lateral move professionally but it may also be a forward move personally.

You say it's much closer to your family, being 32 I'm assuming you mean kids or aging parents? If that's the case being closer to kids and/or mom and dad is a great thing, both for you and them. Being close to your family both geographically and personally is good for the soul, sorry to sound cheesy.

As long as it won't damage you professionally I'd say it sounds like it could be a good move.
 

speed dawg

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Yes Fairshake it would be for parents. I have kids myself and want them to know their grandparents before they are dead. I'm about 6 hours away from my family as well as my wife's family. This move would put me at 3 hours away from my family and 2 hours from hers.

twentee, as much as you are ridiculed on this site, you do have good points when you maneuver through all the extremism. I have a pretty good amount of money put back, but not near enough to where I can live off the income. I started out with nothing. At the end of the day, I have to work.
 

twentee

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the only people trying to ridicule me are the ones who can't even tie my shoes. Anyone who knows much knows how much I know.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Burroughs

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haha goundra rambo faggot is butthurt
 

AAAgent

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Not sure why you view this as a bad thing or you being shafted. You're lucky. The company you guys acquired that they wanted you to help bring up to par with their culture, bombed. They're getting rid of it and you're lucky they aren't getting rid of you. Them paying you back is like they're way of showing loyalty to you for the time you've spent at the company (plus they probably could still use you).

I'd say it's a gamble to ask for more at the moment. If you're a stud, you might be lucky if you ask for a raise or they might just decline. If you're not a stud, why would they pay for all your re-location expenses and give you a raise when they can just hire somebody new for cheaper and not pay the expenses. That way they can mold that new person to fill your role.

The company moving you back and paying the re-location costs is a good thing and is a way for them to bring back a co worker they find valuable so they don't need to train a new one. Playing it safe and moving back without taking a cut in pay is what seems like a safe bet. The fact that your company acquired a company and had to cut it's losses by selling it already shows sign that the company, in the sense of that acquisition isn't doing so hot.

Unless you're a hot shot and think/know you can do better, i'd play it safe with the move/raise.

It'd be a totally different story if the company was doing well and wanted to open a new office and asked you to move out there with no raise. I'd fight for more pay then, but when they're selling off a company and closing down an office, you're on the lucky side if they fly you back.
 

speed dawg

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Fair point, AAAgent. Didn't really think of it that way to be honest. It can get very confusing when you're at ground zero.
 

Who Dares Win

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Agree with Fairshake and also keep in mind that even if they dont raise your pay, you still passively gain money by spending less to visit your parents house as much as your wife to visit hers, also it may be useful for you to stay close to them or have them close to you in case someone has to take care of them or them of the kids, dont undervalue such facts when dealing with kids or elders.

I mean you keep the same work condition of before while getting a better position to live, whats the loss?

In terms of professional game just put in their heads (implicitly) that you've been a good soldiers in your work for them and unlike more employee nowadays they can rely on your to do your job and support the company, that will pay in the long run if the company is run from mentally sane individuals.
 

speed dawg

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I agree Who Dares Win. That's the reason I asked the question, I wasn't sure if that was me shying away from the truth and being too idealistic. And honestly, if it doesn't work out for me with my company, there are other options in that potential city.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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