Can't work out where/if I screwed up

[SteR]

Hey guys,

I was out at a party last night with some friends and despite being surrounded by a tonne of attractive girls, I managed to walk away with nothing.. yet I can't figure out if I slipped up somehow.

I was at this party with 5 other guy friends but they're all in relationships so I had most of them pestering me the second I made any conversation with any girls. I only mention this because I figure the girls could've picked up on it and it makes seduction a little harder when you have a small audience.

Most of the girls were 20-22. I made conversation with a few of them to get the ball rolling.. got them giggling/playful touching etc. The signs were all there with all of the ones I spoke to. It got to the point were some of them started approaching me (which made sense since I was having such a good time with their friends).

Anyway one in particular struck me but it was an absolute nightmare getting anything to happen. A couple of my friends kept trying to interrupt me mid-conversation. This wasn't so bad since they're so bad at talking to girls that it just worked in my favour. I just turned away and started talking to someone else until they were done, then the girl would drift back to me and we'd start flirting again.

Anyway this happened a few times and then one of her friends came over and mentioned she needed to 'speak to her friend' while she was giggling. I left them to it but a good half hour or so passed before I got to speak to her again. I didn't let it phase me, I just got on with the night. However it seemed the girls all decided they wanted to head off into the town and hit some clubs.

Just as they were about to head off, I called the girl over to see what they were up to and she said she was leaving (but might come back). At this point I figured I had nothing to lose and told her to stay (which probably came across a little desperate but I had to do something!) but she said she had to go. Since I was only there for the evening (and in a different city) there was no way I could get her number so it was all or nothing.

Anyway pretty soon after this the party finished up but it left me feeling a little gutted. The signs were all there but I just didn't seem to have enough pulling power to keep her interested. If I'd had the opportunity I'd have isolated her earlier but since we were in a small bar and there was no way I could take her anywhere else. I suppose after reading this through myself, it doesn't actually seem like there's much more I could've done. There's just a lingering feeling of frustration since I missed the opportunity to get a hot girl when I was surrounded by them.

I suppose one of the biggest problems was trying to escalate in this environment. Normally I'd just rely on touching/teasing and somehow the moment presents itself, I steal a kiss and then it goes on from there.. but I couldn't seem to get anything to happen. Part of me feels it was because we were in such close proximity to my friends/her friends/everyone else that it would've made her uncomfortable but I'm not sure. What would you guys have done in this situation? Maybe I'm just giving myself a hard time.. urgh

 

[muscleman]

If you're in an all-or-nothing situation (only there for that night) you need to speed things up and act with a sense of urgency. Here's what you could have done differently:

1) If your friends were c0ckblocking you, ignore them. Just pay them no mind, they'll get the hint that you're trying to spit some game at a girl and if they don't get the hint, you should evaluate your friendship with them. If they're likeminded they'll understand you're trying to get some nookie and won't sabotage you.

2) You let her know you're only here for the night, weave it into the conversation somewhere.

3) You have to isolate somehow. If it's a small bar, try going to a different part of it where 'it's quieter', or even 'let's go outside for a minute, I can barely hear you in here', or some excuse to get her alone.

4) Escalate with kino as much as possible. This can be done in front of her friends and others since it's not as 'taboo' as making out and won't make her get all defensive so as not to look slvtty in front of her friends (even if she's into you).

Basically in a situation where you KNOW there's almost no chance you'll ever see her again, you have to pull out all the stops. She might not have stayed, but had you gotten a little further she could have invited you out with her friends to some clubs. Once in a club, it would be really easy for you to get her alone (dance/makeout) then bounce to your car/crib/alleyway/whatever.

 

[SteR]

Thanks for the advice. What you've said was pretty much what I was thinking so it's made me feel that I really did the best I could.

As for what you mentioned:

If you're in an all-or-nothing situation (only there for that night) you need to speed things up and act with a sense of urgency. Here's what you could have done differently:

1) If your friends were c0ckblocking you, ignore them. Just pay them no mind, they'll get the hint that you're trying to spit some game at a girl and if they don't get the hint, you should evaluate your friendship with them. If they're likeminded they'll understand you're trying to get some nookie and won't sabotage you.

Firstly only one of the guys was my friend, the rest were his. But I did tell them at the start of the night that I was going to hit on women so they had to know when to keep their distance. To be fair they were pretty good but the constant staring didn't help.

2) You let her know you're only here for the night, weave it into the conversation somewhere.

Did this.

3) You have to isolate somehow. If it's a small bar, try going to a different part of it where 'it's quieter', or even 'let's go outside for a minute, I can barely hear you in here', or some excuse to get her alone.

The best I could do was get her in the corner, which I did. I couldn't get her outside because directly outside the bar was the reception area of the hotel (where there were lots of people) and outside was freezing cold.

4) Escalate with kino as much as possible. This can be done in front of her friends and others since it's not as 'taboo' as making out and won't make her get all defensive so as not to look slvtty in front of her friends (even if she's into you).

I actually think I had the kino thing bang on. The trouble with kino is you have to be careful about overdoing it (I find at least). If you touch a girl too much it can make her feel awkward so I kept it at a decent level (which was quite a lot to be fair)

Basically in a situation where you KNOW there's almost no chance you'll ever see her again, you have to pull out all the stops. She might not have stayed, but had you gotten a little further she could have invited you out with her friends to some clubs. Once in a club, it would be really easy for you to get her alone (dance/makeout) then bounce to your car/crib/alleyway/whatever.

That's exactly the problem. I knew it was getting late and I was desperately trying to figure out how I could quickly escalate without scaring her off but I couldn't think of anything. It's always dangerous in these situations since there's such a huge risk of putting her off if you're overly aggressive.

I really do hate over-analysing situations like this but I just needed to make sure I wasn't shooting myself in the foot somehow!

Thanks again

 

[muscleman]

If everything else was on point then the only way would have been to join them when they went club hopping from the context you gave. It's possible she wasn't attracted enough to invite you to go with them though.