Can't understand my ex gf's behaviour

[pyros]

Hello there.

My story is pretty long, so I'll make it very short:
me and my ex girlfried were together for 2.5 years. We're both 25.
She's from a different country so when we were together for one year, I moved there to live with her.
Because of her culture and her personality, she considers herself 'old' already when speaking about having a baby. This is because in her mental schedule she should have her children before 30.
In some occasions she has made some comments that I found weird like: 'do not put your cell-phone so close to your balls, eventually we'll need your soldiers to work'. Or: 'watch out, I want your little friends to be ok in the future'.
Sometimes the whole baby thing planning is been a little problem. I always said I'd like to have children when the time is right and we have money, we're both working etc etc, and she has agreeded but has also complained that if it was up to me, we would have children when we're 35, which is totally horrible for her.
Well the thing is, we broke up some months ago because of other reasons.
We've been exchanging some emails and texts lately. I don't think we may come back together but one day we were talking and she said that she has been thinking and that the baby-planning thing is not a problema anymore.
I asked why she changed here mind, and she replied this (which is the problem):
'See this, I dont know any guy I like at the moment, and if I have to find one, get to know him and make a relationship...it gonna take the same amount of time.'
I said: what are you saying woman?? and then she got very nervous, she said she did not mean that, and that since she doesnt speak so good my language (she speaks it very good), it's been a confusion...

Ok, a couple of times in the past she said something that sounded weird because she's speaking my language, but what she said last time is beyong those previous misunderstandings.

What's wrong with her? does she still love me? does she just want to plan a baby with whoever?
When we broke up we talked about the same topic and she said that she understood that we should plan for a baby carefully, that she can wait five or ten years. But after some months, now she says this?? wtf?


Thanks.

 

[Slickster]

She is looking for someone to get her pregnant and doesn't care who.

Stay away.

 

[EFFORT]

Welcome to the forum pyro


What's wrong with her?

She wants to have a baby, she doesn't want to wait until your 35 years old.

does she still love me?

Yes

does she just want to plan a baby with whoever?

No....... "'See this, I dont know any guy I like at the moment, and if I have to find one, get to know him and make a relationship...it gonna take the same amount of time."


When we broke up we talked about the same topic and she said that she understood that we should plan for a baby carefully, that she can wait five or ten years. But after some months, now she says this?? wtf?

She hasn't changed her mind. She's just figured out a better plan. Her plan is to make you believe that she's changed her mind and everything is fine, then to "accidentally" get pregnant by you.


Summary

Your ex wants to have a baby and you've said your not ready to have one. My advice is to move on. Shes very motivated to have a baby. If you get back together with her she'll be getting pregnant by you within the next year.

 

[pyros]

Hi.
Well, I haven't said I'm not ready to have a baby. I just said that I want one when the time is right; she doesn't either want a baby now but she would like to 'plan' for one, to 'set a date' or something like that, so she'll be sure that it is gonna happen someday. The same rule applies for the marriage thing. After the break up, she told me that she really thought about getting married with me, and that she would like to know if I also think that way, and when I see that happening.
I replied the truth, that we had some problems that should be solved first, and that if within a year or year and a half everything seems ok, solved, etc. then I'd probably like to.
I haven't had a serious relationship before her, I was living abroad with her, we had some issues etc so I could not think about getting married unless all that stuff seems clear. I wonder why she 'felt' we were gonna get married some day, why she thougth that? when? did she think I was the one for her?

Well, she's got two previous boyfriends, so for her I am the third. But for me she's the first serious gf. Probably this counts too.

Coming back to the baby thing, I've read several times that there are girls that love their boyfriends but they love more a wedding. So I think in my case the same applies.
She loves me but she also loves (more?) the idea of knowing when she's gonna have one.

Did this happen to you guys? your gf wants to 'know' when you're gonna have one. I can understand that she wants to know where are we going, but its kinda weird to 'plan' it.
I DO NOT believe she tried to get pregnant accidentally with me, she's not a weirdo, but I do believe that she would become quite annoying about it.

EFFORT, you said she still loves me, but it is normal the way she thinks?


Thanks.