can't trust women..

[MrNiceGuy]

I just realised something today.. I don't trust women one bit.. Ok I just realised part of the reason is my self esteem not being high enough.. but partly I just don't trust them at all.. I'm conivced theres always some sort of ulteria motive.. Part of it also comes from some of the advice here too, to next for any sort of less than satisfactory reason.. e.g. "she doesn't call back within x time period.. She's not interested. NEXT"

the reason I got thinking about this was a friend of mine (well who knows what it is, if you see my post from about a week ago you'll see it looks like she has the hots for me but I'm still too much of an AFC to sort it out) was supposed to come over friday evening.
Friday came, heard nothing from her, texted her.. nothing, called her, straight to voicemail, left message, no response. The next day passed and I heard nothing, so I immediately think she's stood me up for a better offer and the reason she hasnt called is she knows she's in the wrong, I'm expecting her to try and apologise over msn in the week and am preparing a tirade about how dissapointed I am since it was all her idea and I shelved other plans to do it.

Then today I get an email from her saying how sorry she is, how she got mugged lost all her numbers, is working away from the office so hasn't got internet etc. but I'm still suspicous and convinced she's making it all up, it seems TOO apolgetic. Its only after I reply to her email with my numbers and she calls me that I realise I'd been completely paranoid.. Her description of the attack sounds completely genuine and she arranges us to meet up on saturday evening..

I dunno I guess years of women being flaky unreliable b*tches has tainted my view somewhat, I just hope I can rebuild some trust.. I think in my case I'm still expecting women to screw me over all the time, so its coming as a surprise when they're not.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by MrNiceGuy
...I dunno I guess years of women being flaky unreliable b*tches has tainted my view somewhat, I just hope I can rebuild some trust.. I think in my case I'm still expecting women to screw me over all the time, so its coming as a surprise when they're not.

Yeah, you're a bit tainted but here's a couple of things to consider:

• Trust is all about you and not the other person. Trust is your capacity to feel confident that you can effectively "survive" any experience you may encounter.
• The mind is a powerful mechanism; what you perceive, you will find. If you expect women to be flaky and unreliable, guess what you will find?

 

[frivolousz21]

Mr nice guy!

dont feel bad...I have a great loving gf and I still get that way my friend..do some interenet searches or go buy some books on it..and apply to ur knowledge..and let it go.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

thanks guys, I think like you're saying its more about me than the other people in that I guess I've built up expectations of being let down as a defence mechanism against it happening (the pessimist is never dissapointed philosiphy)

but of course you can't go your whole life like that, I guess its just a case of buiilding these things up a bit at a time..

with regards this chick tho, after I spoke to her I don't think she made it up at all, her descripton was pretty detailed with minimal prompting, she gave me a new number she got given by the phone company, said she had bruises (nothing too bad apparently) to show for it.. etc. if anything I feel abit guilty for doubting her..

anyway, the point about experiencing what you expect is a good one.. if I could change my outlook I might have more luck, positive mental atittude and all that. I've made it work in some areas I just need to apply it more forcefully in others.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

This is exactly what I was talking about, sometimes there are good reasons why a girl does or fails to do something so you shouldn't always just assume the worst and dump her.

 

[ChenCristos]

true dat- my minds been messed lately been thinking all girls are flakes and cheaters- well damn thats the kind of girls I been meetin- I am gonna reprogram my subconscious tonight to get **** back on track- good thread!

 

[Black_Italian]

Cant trust women wow what an insight.

Ninja Out

 

[ChenCristos]

haha-no
Franciscos post made this thread a good one.