Can't shake AFC rep...

[carreyreincarnate1]

so im finally feeling good about myself lately. Im the assistant captain of my hockey team, the captain of the school soccer team, play guitar in jazz band, and play in a metal band outside of school. Everything ive wanted to do im doing and i feel great. only one thing: im still not getting any girls. Until recently, i could not figure this out. But after some unfortunate events, i think ive figured it out. people are not seeing this change and still think of me like the AFC i was a year ago, when i didnt apply myself and failed at everything.

heres an example background info. i was with a few friends getting something to eat when i ran into a group of kids that go to my school.
(note: a friend directed me the following posts on facebook between a friend and a girl i was talking to that night)

freind: hey thanks for leaving me with carreyreincarnate and his awkward friends, jk.

girl: hahaha, ur hilarious. i was gonna stay but it would have been awkward since he doesnt know who i am.

freind: hahaha, "do u go to (the name of my school)"

girl: yeah fool, u only used to be in love with one of my friends and u see me all the time. wooow...

friend: wait...what?

girl: he used to be obsessed with _____(another girl).

<end>

the funny part is, i really didnt know this chick, but SHE KNEW ME!!! not by any of the things ive accomplished, but all the AFC things ive done in the past. then it hit me, if she knows me as some little AFC b****, then other girls do to, and this could seriously be inhibiting my progress. any advice on how to shake this debilitating reputation?

 

[jeffthechef]

Get a girl.

 

[Seeking Advice]

Get a girl.

what was that advice... what kind of an idiot... as for my part, i'd like to congratulate you for applying yourself for a full year and getting to where you are now. it's great that you put in the effort and succeeded in your goals! as for the ladies, try talking to them a lot more than you used to, any girl you see at school or outside of school, and make an impression! anything is good so long as you avoid sounding like an AFC or Nice Guy(let your confidence speak for you), and the chicks will start to see you differently. good luck with your life, and enjoy what you've accomplished.

 

[jeffthechef]

what was that advice... what kind of an idiot... as for my part, i'd like to congratulate you for applying yourself for a full year and getting to where you are now. it's great that you put in the effort and succeeded in your goals! as for the ladies, try talking to them a lot more than you used to, any girl you see at school or outside of school, and make an impression! anything is good so long as you avoid sounding like an AFC or Nice Guy(let your confidence speak for you), and the chicks will start to see you differently. good luck with your life, and enjoy what you've accomplished.

that's the best advice there is...please don't spread your ignorance...think before you speak...this guy is worrying about people thinking of him as an afc....SO ALL HE HAS TO DO IS GET ONE GIRL...everyone will realize he might have game...that relationship will end eventually...so he gets another girl...people start thinking of him as a ladies' man...if that relationship doesn't end...who gives a fuk about his afc image in the minds of others...if he wants to know how to be an alpha...read the damn dj bible

 

[Jaggs]

I agree with jeffthechef.

What do you mean your AFC Rep? This is all part of the change.

What about new people? Your "AFC rep" doesn't effect them.

And if it does effect new people then you got a bit to learn still

Get out there and meet people.

 

[Groovy]

Come on, people think what they want to think, if you worrie about it, what are you winning? Nothing. You're wasting time on things you CAN'T control. Not good.

The problem here is the following. (I think). You're doing okay for yourself. You're gaining self esteem.

But you have thin skin.

I'll make an anology.
You're YOU, your body. The self esteem is your blood. You're gaining more blood!
But sometimes a insult :box: (Lets say an arrow ) hits you, and takes away your blood! Damn kids. What are you gonig to do? Hit them back? :trouble: Nah, waste of time and energy soldier!

I say you have to protect yourself. How? Not by getting a girlfriend. IMO, but by getting a shield! That way, you won't expect your GF to cover your wounds, but you have a shield and your blood stays with you! Yay! :cheer: GEt it? Get thicker skin - a shield! That stays with you for the rest of your life!

And it makes no sence spending energy trying to control what you can't control (Other peoples toughts). If you do so, what are you gaining? Nothing, you're just suffering and wasting energy.

The weekness in your sheild is that you're insecure about your past you. You'll cover it when you understand that that's not a part of you anymore, past is past, live in the PRESENT, which you can control, you can't change the past, so why worrie about it?

 

[I'm in the Mood]

You gotta accomplish something that involves women to change your AFC rep.

Being captain of the soccer team and being in bands only adds to your social rep, which could help you get girls.

 

[OTB]

Being captain of the soccer team and being in bands only adds to your social rep, which could help you get girls.

But that's exactly the problem!

All the girls he knows still view him as a God-damn AFC!

 

[Groovy]

But why encourage him to look for validation from GIRLS?

Get in a band, so your self esteem goes up. But get tougher. Others only hurt your self esteem you if you let them. And don't seek for approval. Seeking from approval takes the focus out of YOU, and what control do we have on other peoples toughts?

Try to make girls like you = Loose time and energy on things you CAN'T control = bad move.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Yea I guess u gotta show the girls that YOU've changed, not just your social reputation..Cuz for instance, there are probably guys that you'd consider cool (high social status), but in reality they're AFCs too because of their mindset and confidence with women.

Being captain of your soccer team and in a couple bands is very good though, and you should keep that up.

 

[Bonafide]

Your still an AFC because you believe that. Its not everybody else that is the problem, its you. Let that sink in, live in your own world, **** what everybody else thinks....then eventually your aura will take effect on them.

Believe you are what you want to be.

 

[carreyreincarnate1]

Your still an AFC because you believe that. Its not everybody else that is the problem, its you. Let that sink in, live in your own world, **** what everybody else thinks....then eventually your aura will take effect on them.

Believe you are what you want to be.

sorry, i dont get what ur trying to say. please clarify.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

...until you stop thinking you're an AFC, you're not gonna go anywhere.
In addition, I suggest you forget the term entirely.

 

[seanarcher]

It's impossible, speaking from personal experience, to change your reputation in high school once you're seen as a loser. As you've noticed, it's like a virus. One girl doesn't like you or thinks you're undesirable or weird, she tells her friends who don't even know you and they take their friend's word at face value even if their friend is just making up sh*t that isn't even true about you. Even if a girl secretly thinks you're physically attractive, her social status and reputation mean everything to her and she won't give you the time of day even if deep down she wants to.

Your only option, find girls from other schools/towns. Go to the mall or something, find a HB from another school who has no idea about your loser social standing.

 

[Pdizzzzzzle]

the best thing you can do is say screw them. Chasing them will just make you look desperate.

 

[OTB]

In addition, I suggest you forget the term entirely.

Forgetting the term AFC?!

How the fvck is that proposal even possible?!

Especially for the fact that he's already "into the game" & probably posts on this forum quite often...

 

[I'm in the Mood]

^

Man the thing is, AFC is just a word, it doesn't really mean anything.
If you never heard of DJing in your life you'd probably have never heard it before.

Plus, thinking of yourself as an AFC isn't exactly good for your self-esteem.
You gotta get rid of the very thought entirely, like right now I'd rather call myself an average guy than a loser, because thats just what I am.

 

[jeffthechef]

but why be average....what not be extraordinary?

 

[I'm in the Mood]

I was just talking about myself there, as an example.

 

[OTB]

but why be average....what not be extraordinary?

Perfect reply, couldn't have put it any better myself