Cant quit GF because of fear

[Franky1927]

I'm in a realtionship for 10 months right now.
Some months ago I started to think about my current relationship and also thought about leaving her.

Pro: She is a very nice girl, would never cheat on me, has lots of time for me.


Contra: I doubt that I love her like she loves me. She needs way too much of my time, Sexual attraction is low (I think that's normal after taht period), The time i spend with her (and that's a lot) seems sometimes a bit wasted to me in the past. I miss my freedom to do want I want.

The problems with leaving her are: She would be crying for ages and I'm afraid to hurt her so much, she is/was always there for me and I am very afraid of being lonely, some of my friends left town so there are only few people left I would like to spend all my spare time with, I often spend too much time in front of my PC if nobody kicks my a$$.

Theres no other way than to try it without her and see if I feel better.
I'm afraid of sitting here in my room and nobody is calling or listening, but keeping here wont solve this problem....I guess.

I just posted it here because I never really know what I want and I could regret my decision.


PS: I hope my english is readable

 

[penkitten]

the only thing to fear is fear itself.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Who cares about her feelings - what about yours? You aren't feeling right about the way things are going - you've lost your freedom - so just do whatever you have to do - because you'll just resent her at the end of the day and will hurt her more than if you just let go now.

 

[Last Man Standing]

There is nothing wrong with being honest! Are you going to marry her? If not, then the sooner you leave the better!

 

[KSoze]

I've been in your situation...The girl was crazy about me...i left the girl and within 6 months she met another guy and married him...LOL

Its best you do it now than later...find someone you have a connection with...you can't "make" yourself like someone that way...believe me, i tried

 

[Solarium]

Picture yourself 10 years from now...

Would you rather be that guy with a mediocore girl with a "comfortable" yet unextraoridinary life, or would you take a short pain and start over, becomming stronger in the process, and end up with a HB that you worked for and a life that you dreamed of.

There is no gain without pain, and no rewards without risks.

Read my posts about how to dump your girl... I was in a similar situation and is still getting over it.

 

[Obsidian]

These guys are right on the money. Also, do not place such importance on being in a relationship. It isn't manly. Remember to heed the words of the Great One:

Success cannot be getting a girl because that means failure is being alone. No. Failure is being in an unhappy marriage...

 

[Franky1927]

Thanks for your help.

I feel like I'm sitting in my comfortable little house with my girlfriend, its clean, warm and i have enough to eat.
I look out of the window and I see people having "better" girlfriend (not only optical) and bigger houses. But its raining outside and its very cold.
I could stay in my nice little shack or go out in the cold dark to explore the world out there. Its risky but it will pay out in the past and I will make a new experience to be able to deal with such situations in the future... I hope


Well that was poetic

Its just so hard so leave a person that is so weak and loves you that much...

 

[ConantheLibertarian]

It sounds like you need a lot of her time, too. You basically said without her you'd have nothing. And that didn't happen overnight, throughout this relationship it sounds like you sacraficed spending time doing whatever else, to spend time with her. Or maybe you had nothing else to do, and she filled your time. Then you end up at this point, afraid to lose someone you don't want to be with. You need hobbies my freund, which take you from your computer chair .

That aside, you need to think of yourself first. Who else will? Don't stay to spare her feelings, that's actually dishonest and screwing with her feelings. She undoubtedly thinks it's serious. Do you want to lead her on, have her think it's serious, where she'll then really take hard fall when you 'have to talk?'

p.s. Your English is fine. Better than a lot of people here in the U.S. .

 

[lebRambo]

the only thing to fear is fear itself.

This is BS. Ever heard of land sharks? Yeah, thats worse than fear.

 

[DJsparky]

As chandler said on friends... "You dont want to give in to the fear."

My ex was a gorgeous girl, loved me but very ****ing boring and unsocial and that caused my attraction to her to become low.

If attractions low you need to tell her and not keep leading her on, for your sake.

Heres a little story:

My friend hated his gf he wanted to leave her so bad, he felt so bad he was always pissed off with her, and believe me she was horrible. He was scared to get rid of her so he kept leading her on hopefully her getting the message. One morning after a night at hanging at my house his gf rang and all i heard was "WHAT?? NO WAY!" "NO!" Turns out he got her pregnant. Now his trapped with responsibilities just like alot of other guys, tell me is that worse then fear?