can't provide a sense of security to a girl..

[foomee]

so i was talking with a girl today, and she said that her and i could never date because i don't provide girls with a sense of security. and by that she is referring to the future. right now i'm only 23, and i honestly haven't thought about marriage or serious dating. i dated a girl for 1 year before, and another for 3 years, and another for another year. so at the moment long term relationships are not my thing.

so she tells me girls always want security and often think of a future together with a guy. (although she is a chinese girl and their culture is different than in the west) but i think a lot of girls think this way. so how can i provide this to a girl, but not end up in something so serious? security is very attractive to a girl, but if a guy just wants to play, that just ruins things. any advice? should i lie and say 'oh i don't want a serious relationship now'?

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Man, tell her to stop being so insecure around her. Tell her you don't want to marry her; you're young and you have the whole rest of your life to live! It would be a shame to waste it and tie yourself down to one girl.

I'd argue that security can make it interesting, but it can also kill some of a girl's attraction for you, because it can lead her to believe that she's already caught you and it's game over. You know, absolute security can break a lot of productive tension between a man and a woman.

On the bright side, you now know exactly what she wants and you can play with it! This girl obviously wants security from you, so you have the perfect opportunity to give some to her then take some away!

You can easily do this with flirting - when she does something you like say, "I love you! Let's get married!" then when she does something you don't like, you can say "Well I better start saving for an attorney...I want a divorce!"

 

[Iceberg]

security is very attractive to a girl, but if a guy just wants to play, that just ruins things. any advice? should i lie and say 'oh i don't want a serious relationship now'?

Security is supposed to be attractive to a girl. Just like flowers every morning, and long conversation about your feelings...it's the stuff they tell themselves that they want.

In reality, that's not the case. They want the chase of tying you down, just like you want the chase of getting the girl. Once we get what we want, it ultimately becomes boring.

Whenever I'm in a position of a girl asking me about "what we are"...I just say that we'll find out. Throwing a title on something doesn't give it any meaning.

 

[trrush]

yup, girls will tell you alot of sh!t they think they want, its why she dumps the nice guy for the bad boy, but if you ask her what she wants, she'll almost says she wants a nice guy. their logic doesn't make sense.
oh yeah she goes with the "bad boy" because of the chase.
nice guys are willing to give up and get caught way to easily. if he would play hard to get...

 

[search1ng]

She's basically telling you to get your act together.

I don't know you, I'm not telling you you don't, it's just what she's saying.

Btw, regardless of what PUA teaches regarding flirting and how game is all that matters. If you want a quality girl (Not some random ONS) you'll need to bring something to the table. Be it personality, a future or a mixture of both (ability to game is a given).

Often times security can be interpreted basically as having a visible life outside of women.