"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

....can't live with 'em, can't live without em...

S

seek&destroy

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
191
Reaction score
2
So that whole situation I posted last month about a girl I had hots for in my class...

Today I get to find out (damn you facebook!) that she's in a relationship with one of our classmates. This is not what gets to me though.

If she wasn't interested in me, why would she tell me that "I'm not in school to cater to your feelings, not am I here to find a new boyfriend, I'm just here to get my education.". I feel like calling her out on it, but I know that would be WELL below me. Yet somehow, I think she should know just how I feel about her right now. All I want to tell her is that I'm disgusted with her because she did not have the stones to tell me "I'm just not interested in you." She did not have to make up a bogus story, or try to fish for an excuse, but she did, and now it's officially over.

But nevermind that...I WILL take the high road. I'm deleting her out of my life (no, I'm not unfriending her on FB or MSN/AIM, I'm just going to pretend like she does not exist).

What would you do if you were in my position?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

J

joverby

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 12, 2011
Messages
599
Reaction score
9
Just realize that someone that feels that way about you (and lies to you) doesn't deserve the kind of reaction you would be awarding her. You need to think that she can "F" off because you are better and deserve better then that.
 
I

Iceberg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2002
Messages
3,110
Reaction score
136
Age
45
Location
Manhattan, NY
seek&destroy said:
What would you do if you were in my position?
Click to expand...
Your position is that you like a girl who doesn't like you.

This is the girl who you'd help with studying and do her homework for her, etc? Well what's there for you to be mad about? You didn't put her in a position to like you. You tried to build attraction the way we used to do it in grade school: "I like Jill, so I'm gonna give Jill candy. Then I'm gonna help Jill with homework. Then I'm gonna carry her books. And then Jill will like me." That's not how it works. You learned that lesson through this experience....now it's just up to you to remember the lesson.


So what would I do?

I'd remember the golden rule of judging a woman's actions, not her words. She told you that she's not looking for a boyfriend? Why would you believe that? We're all looking for something. I don't want a girlfriend....but if the right girl comes along, I'm not gonna turn her away.

And you're mad at her for not telling you that she isn't interested? Girls don't do that. She communicated her lack of interest in subtle ways, as girls often do. You chose to ignore them because you let emotions get in the way of your logic.

Don't be mad at her. Be mad at yourself.
 
S

seek&destroy

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
191
Reaction score
2
The only thing that pisses me off in this situation is the fact that she used me and discarded me like a used tampon when she didn't need me anymore. I hate being used like that, if there's one thing that will piss me off, it's that. Besides she could have just told me "I don't like you like that, because I like Matt", no matter it's done now. Nothing I can do. Game over.
 
M

Mantis Toboggan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
859
Reaction score
58
seek&destroy said:
The only thing that pisses me off in this situation is the fact that she used me and discarded me like a used tampon when she didn't need me anymore. I hate being used like that, if there's one thing that will piss me off, it's that. Besides she could have just told me "I don't like you like that, because I like Matt", no matter it's done now. Nothing I can do. Game over.
Click to expand...
You allowed yourself to be used. I would never dream of doing all these favors that you were doing for her......never in my worst nightmares.

And also, even if she liked Matt, it's not like you're only allowed to like one person at a time. I might like 10 different girls right now. If both you and Matt had game, maybe she'd like both of you. But your game consisted of doing favors and other AFC stuff.

Not trying to trash you, but you need to look at this realistically if you're going to learn from it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

C

Chickfight

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2010
Messages
477
Reaction score
30
All your hate for her just reflects badly on yourself. YOU let yourself get in to your situation and you should man up and accept the blame for it. Instead of getting your panties up in a bunch about her not having the BALLS to be straight with you. Here's some reality to digest. Girls literally don't have balls, but even so it appears this girl has more symbolic gonads than you at the moment. Enough to put herself and her desires before yours and live her life the way that pleases her.

If I sound unsympathetic, it's because I am. You have more than enough sympathy for yourself, you don't need our help for that. There are people with no arms or no legs that appreciate life more than you. So stop whining like a baby and take charge of your life. Love yourself and you'll be incapable of hating others.
 
S

scribblec

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 11, 2006
Messages
487
Reaction score
10
been here for 6 years and hes still making threads like this.... are you kidding me
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top