I have learned my lesson. Don't **** where you eat. Enough said.
Let me give you all a run down of how this relationship started and ended and where we are at now:
Before the relationship:
I work at a restaurant and so did the girl I ended up with. For 9 months we hooked up on and off. I could tell within the first few hookups she was wanting to date me, but I was happy being single and felt like I wasn't where I wanted to be in my personal life to be official with this girl. I was told by her that she was going to date other people and I said go ahead. Fast forward 8 months and she mentions after dating around that I was the number one prospect. Mind you I never took this girl out on dates and only ****ed her basically. I finally decided I liked this girl enough to start dating her.
During the relationship:
We had a great time for the first 3 months. I was confident and kept things interesting. She said "I love you" around the 5 Month mark and I told her I wasn't ready to say it myself. At the time I kept thinking maybe I could do better than this girl and still was in the non-attached mindset. I finally said "I love you" two months later. Not too long after she mentions she was thinking about breaking up with me soon after I didn't say I love you back to her when she brought it up. Whatever.
This is where I get into the AFC mindset. I figure I'm a better catch than her and start slacking on things. Not to mention I was in a bit of financial distress through the relationship. I couldn't take her out much and she is the type of girl who likes to go out all the time. I begin to be a doormat to this chick afraid of losing her due to my financial state.
She also knew the two girls I hooked up with while I was hooking up with her. So she decided to make snide remarks about it throughout the relationship. She also gave me **** for being poor and not able to keep things exciting (taking her to bars and out to eat). I understand I failed in that aspect, but she never enjoyed any activities that involved no money.
After 7 months the sex started to really die down. She had excuses of : I'm stressed about my weight (which she did not take care of herself and had no knowledge of how to eat right, exercise etc...), stressed over finding a job since she just graduated, stressed over her two best friends not inviting her out ever etc etc...She has major insecurity issues with her body (she's about 40 lbs. overweight) . I'm starting to think this really isn't going to work out. But, I keep on making AFC moves and letting her use me as a punching bag.
The summer comes (11 months in) and I start going back to school for a computer science degree. I'm taking two hardcore classes over a short semester while working 5 nights a week. My GF also quits the job we both work at. She keeps telling me to take time off to go out and spend money constantly. At this point I'm totally lost on how to get this girl back into the groove.We don't have sex for weeks at a time and she keeps telling me she's bored. I don't blame her I guess. School at this point is my priority and she's hindering me. I can tell she's getting ready to drop the hammer on me.
This is where I've had enough of being a goddamn doormat:
We go away to a concert out of town. At the end of the concert I get a text from my old ex who I haven't spoken to in 2.5 years. I didn't know the number at first so I asked my current GF if she knew the number. GF had no clue and wanted to find out who it was. She immediately suggested it was my ex. I ask who it was and come to find out it was my ex. My GF starts to *****. I told the old ex that I was happily (yeah right!) in a relationship and I shouldn't talk to her. My GF quips at me "I bet you're going to contact her tomorrow when you're alone". I don't really react, but in my head I think: "**** this girl if she can't trust me".
The next day I start planning my escape from this mess of a GF. I had finals that week and started to detach myself quickly.
Later that week I break it off with the GF. I tell her I don't have enough money to keep her happy, sick of her treating me like ****, we have nothing in common and anything else I could say to get away from her.
For three days she begs and pleads for me. She says shes sorry for all the remarks she made etc. etc. The nail in the coffin is when she tells me I should have the decency to call her back and talk since we were together for over a year. I tell her: " I don't owe you any calls. I don't want to hear you beg for me back." She says she's done.
After the relationship:
I ended up sleeping with the old ex for a couple weeks as a rebound. Broke her heart when I told her I didn't want to hook up anymore (she was interested in getting back with me).
This is where I get REALLY AFC!
I end up apologizing to the recent ex. I told her I wanted to talk about things etc. She agrees to talk and I **** her 4-5 more times over two weeks (best sex we ever had btw). At the same time she said she went out on a date with a guy a week after I broke it off with her.
I continue my AFC ways by pursuing this girl. She tells me she needs time to think about things and make a decision. The whole time she is still going out with this other dude.
The other dude come to find out is an old high school friend and he has a high paying job. Takes her out all the time etc.
Finally she tells me after three weeks of pursuit that she's happy being single and likes where she's at (she's ****ing the other dude and not me. nuff said).
She ends up not finding a job in her field and comes back to the same restaurant I work at. ****ING AWKWARD!!! I've been mature and tolerated it, BUT WORKING WITH HER MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR NO CONTACT!!!!!
After two months of the breakup, she is facebook official with this other dude she was dating. She says she would like to be friends with me. I know this is a farce and it's her way of saying lets just be friendly.
How the hell do I deal with this situation? I feel a bit jealous, but I know deep down I just need to work on myself while starting to spin some plates. I am also actively seeking a new job btw.
TL;DR I got into a relationship with a girl from my workplace. She was a ****ty girlfriend and I was a total AFC. She quit where I worked while we were together, but came back to the workplace after we broke up since she couldn't find a job somewhere else. Started dating a guy one week after our breakup. I tried to get back with her, but got rejected since the other guy had money to take her out all the time. They are now facebook official two months after dating. I can't have no contact since we work together. Trying to find a new job, but have to see this chick a few times a week which isn't helping me get over this ordeal.
Let me give you all a run down of how this relationship started and ended and where we are at now:
Before the relationship:
I work at a restaurant and so did the girl I ended up with. For 9 months we hooked up on and off. I could tell within the first few hookups she was wanting to date me, but I was happy being single and felt like I wasn't where I wanted to be in my personal life to be official with this girl. I was told by her that she was going to date other people and I said go ahead. Fast forward 8 months and she mentions after dating around that I was the number one prospect. Mind you I never took this girl out on dates and only ****ed her basically. I finally decided I liked this girl enough to start dating her.
During the relationship:
We had a great time for the first 3 months. I was confident and kept things interesting. She said "I love you" around the 5 Month mark and I told her I wasn't ready to say it myself. At the time I kept thinking maybe I could do better than this girl and still was in the non-attached mindset. I finally said "I love you" two months later. Not too long after she mentions she was thinking about breaking up with me soon after I didn't say I love you back to her when she brought it up. Whatever.
This is where I get into the AFC mindset. I figure I'm a better catch than her and start slacking on things. Not to mention I was in a bit of financial distress through the relationship. I couldn't take her out much and she is the type of girl who likes to go out all the time. I begin to be a doormat to this chick afraid of losing her due to my financial state.
She also knew the two girls I hooked up with while I was hooking up with her. So she decided to make snide remarks about it throughout the relationship. She also gave me **** for being poor and not able to keep things exciting (taking her to bars and out to eat). I understand I failed in that aspect, but she never enjoyed any activities that involved no money.
After 7 months the sex started to really die down. She had excuses of : I'm stressed about my weight (which she did not take care of herself and had no knowledge of how to eat right, exercise etc...), stressed over finding a job since she just graduated, stressed over her two best friends not inviting her out ever etc etc...She has major insecurity issues with her body (she's about 40 lbs. overweight) . I'm starting to think this really isn't going to work out. But, I keep on making AFC moves and letting her use me as a punching bag.
The summer comes (11 months in) and I start going back to school for a computer science degree. I'm taking two hardcore classes over a short semester while working 5 nights a week. My GF also quits the job we both work at. She keeps telling me to take time off to go out and spend money constantly. At this point I'm totally lost on how to get this girl back into the groove.We don't have sex for weeks at a time and she keeps telling me she's bored. I don't blame her I guess. School at this point is my priority and she's hindering me. I can tell she's getting ready to drop the hammer on me.
This is where I've had enough of being a goddamn doormat:
We go away to a concert out of town. At the end of the concert I get a text from my old ex who I haven't spoken to in 2.5 years. I didn't know the number at first so I asked my current GF if she knew the number. GF had no clue and wanted to find out who it was. She immediately suggested it was my ex. I ask who it was and come to find out it was my ex. My GF starts to *****. I told the old ex that I was happily (yeah right!) in a relationship and I shouldn't talk to her. My GF quips at me "I bet you're going to contact her tomorrow when you're alone". I don't really react, but in my head I think: "**** this girl if she can't trust me".
The next day I start planning my escape from this mess of a GF. I had finals that week and started to detach myself quickly.
Later that week I break it off with the GF. I tell her I don't have enough money to keep her happy, sick of her treating me like ****, we have nothing in common and anything else I could say to get away from her.
For three days she begs and pleads for me. She says shes sorry for all the remarks she made etc. etc. The nail in the coffin is when she tells me I should have the decency to call her back and talk since we were together for over a year. I tell her: " I don't owe you any calls. I don't want to hear you beg for me back." She says she's done.
After the relationship:
I ended up sleeping with the old ex for a couple weeks as a rebound. Broke her heart when I told her I didn't want to hook up anymore (she was interested in getting back with me).
This is where I get REALLY AFC!
I end up apologizing to the recent ex. I told her I wanted to talk about things etc. She agrees to talk and I **** her 4-5 more times over two weeks (best sex we ever had btw). At the same time she said she went out on a date with a guy a week after I broke it off with her.
I continue my AFC ways by pursuing this girl. She tells me she needs time to think about things and make a decision. The whole time she is still going out with this other dude.
The other dude come to find out is an old high school friend and he has a high paying job. Takes her out all the time etc.
Finally she tells me after three weeks of pursuit that she's happy being single and likes where she's at (she's ****ing the other dude and not me. nuff said).
She ends up not finding a job in her field and comes back to the same restaurant I work at. ****ING AWKWARD!!! I've been mature and tolerated it, BUT WORKING WITH HER MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR NO CONTACT!!!!!
After two months of the breakup, she is facebook official with this other dude she was dating. She says she would like to be friends with me. I know this is a farce and it's her way of saying lets just be friendly.
How the hell do I deal with this situation? I feel a bit jealous, but I know deep down I just need to work on myself while starting to spin some plates. I am also actively seeking a new job btw.
TL;DR I got into a relationship with a girl from my workplace. She was a ****ty girlfriend and I was a total AFC. She quit where I worked while we were together, but came back to the workplace after we broke up since she couldn't find a job somewhere else. Started dating a guy one week after our breakup. I tried to get back with her, but got rejected since the other guy had money to take her out all the time. They are now facebook official two months after dating. I can't have no contact since we work together. Trying to find a new job, but have to see this chick a few times a week which isn't helping me get over this ordeal.
On the other hand I know a lot of people who have hooked up at work- there's plenty of happy endings to go with the nightmares.