TheWanderer88 said:
There's this girl that I'm insanely crushing on, but we've hardly ever spoken to each other. I don't know what to do. She's in one of my classes and I see her around randomly every now and then. Every time I see her I get overwhelmed with feels because she's just so pretty.
I managed to get the balls up to talk to her once. I approached, said hi, and talked a couple sentences and it went relatively well and she smiled. It was fine, but since then I haven't been able to do it again.
I'm afraid that what will happen will simply by the exact same thing again. We'll say a couple sentences and then move on. and if I did it a 3rd time, same thing would happen. Nothing would ever come of it.
So that kills my motivation to talk to her again, which is scary enough as it is. Does anyone have anything useful to tell me as advice on this? I know it's easy for most of you to 'just talk to her' but I cannot make myself do it and it's killing me inside.
1) You've built this chick up based off her looks in a "perfect" chick scenario in your mind. Who's to say if things worked out and you got her number etc. you'd wind up eventually not liking HER? Realize that number ONE.
2) You're insecure or made to feel insecure by her because you've placed all YOUR value based off HER looks yet you barely know her. "Lowly" you may eventually not like "her highness" if the two of you wound up together or not because you've gotten to know her and then reality sunk in and deflated that "perfect looking chick" bubble..again..Realize that TWO.
3) What you can do is try to think you don't like the chick in your mind when you see her. She's "annoying", she's an AW, She's ugly, she's whatever, ANYTHING you don't like so you force your mind to not see her as "perfect" and it boosts your confidence around her a bit and you can relax just BSing with her as if you were talking to some random dude who is neither here nor there to you.
After you realize those points. Relax. She isn't going to "kill" you. So it takes three four five etc times of making small talk with her. There are MANY people who talk as FRIENDS or flirt in countless conversations who eventually end up together. There's no magic number for a chick to automatically want to date anyone. It all depends on too much sht to worry about. I've talked to some and went out quickly, some you keep talking to and eventually go out. Some you may never go out with but you've either built a social circle with them or you got tired of them and you stopped talking. It's no big deal. Really.
Next time you see her smile and be as confident as you can be without going overboard even if you have to force yourself to fake it.
Say hi.
Ask her how schools been going for her?
Ask her why she chose the school?
It's as easy as one flowing sentence: Hey! How's school going for you? What's your name? I'm XXX. ( I don't even think about it. I just say it. And they ALL answer. No chick is THAT much of an beyatch to not answer a quick question.)
Talk about anything else you can think of in your surroundings or stuff going on to ask her about and get her blabbing. Don't focus on asking her questions off the bat about herself so you don't get nervous expecting a "rejection" or some sort of answer you won't like/don't want to hear. Try to keep it brief with random BS not about her but about her input on things around you and then just pull out your phone and tell her to put her number in and you'll text her sometime to say what's up and BS some more as you've got to run.
It's really that friggin easy. If she gives you her number then "worry" about that later. If not? "Ok. Cool. I'll see you around soon. Hope you do well in your classes!" Don't worry about it and keep it friendly next time you see her saying hi smiling and making a quick convo.
Do the same with different chicks and if it doesn't work out with this one you'll have more chicks after a while than you know what to do with.
Trust me. Even the "hottest" chicks become a freakin pain in the azz and annoying at times. Remember that.
