So my dad is getting worse and worse as he gets older and no one can reason with him anymore. Everytime someone says something negative about him he tells us we don't understand and we don't have real experience. People that are pharmacist don't know anything and wouldn't make it in the REAL world, etc.
My dad came over as a teenager and asian immigrant. He started his own business at age 21 saving money working as a bell boy at the mar riot and made his first million dollars at age 21. His net worth at one point was close to 15 million but after the crash in 08 it's probably 1/10 of that now. Plus, our family is in more debt and he has very little income coming in. He makes horrible decisions as he is very rash and isn't educated outside of what he's learned in life. He's been scammed MANY times by people promising to get things done for him and he's given then 10k, 100k, 200k, etc. and lost it all. My mom has helped in invest in real estate in the 90's and 2000's and he made half his fortune that way and she always managed the finances and had a say until the last 10 years or so. Now he doesn't listen to anybody, our debt is piling up, and he's not smart enough and doesn't have any money or leverage to do anything. His real estate is sitting there racking up costs because he won't sell. I worked my whole life at his warehouse, his club, doing deliveries, stocking the bar, cleaning trash, bartender, laying tile floor, etc. You name it, i've probably done every blue collar job out there and i did it for 16+ years from around age 6-22. He doesn't let anyone touch his stuff because nobody can do it as well as he can. He's a very handyman that can pretty much trouble shoot, electrical, plumbing, build, clean abestos, etc. but he is horrible with finances and people.
He doesn't listen to anyone and therefore has a horrible relationship with everyone in the family. He was also very abusive and harsh on us and forced us to learn everything through manual labor and punishment (old school Asian style). If i had to describe him for some of you guys to understand, (no offense and this is for reference purposes only) imagine the typical old school italian dad who owns his own restaurant and has done well but his restaurant is now crappy. He won't listen to anyone and no one can see eye to eye with him. He knows he has a horrible relationship with his kids and he is proud of us. He tries to talk to us and he literally frustrates us because we can't have conversations (every time we sit down, he tries to teach us how he's smarter or what he knows that we don't). The last 7 years he's basically put the family in a worse and worse situation and everyone has given up try to tell him what to do and let him just do his own thing. We only talk to him about none business/finance related things otherwise it'd be a huge heated debate where we end up walking away because he always feels like he's right.
He told me no one can have built such a nice ship the way that he has (aka everything he owns/acocmplished, etc.) and i broke it to him that sure his ship is as nice as the titanic but it has huge holes everywhere and it's sinking. He's not willing to listen to other opinions and continues on his path which is driving this sinking ship to the bottom of the ocean. He did not take this well and it turned to shouting.
He makes a big effort to talk to us (his children) but is so hard for us to really talk back because he's so stubborn. How can we reason with him? Any older gents have advice.
TlR
Dad is old washed previously successful uneducated businessman. He didn't adapt well throughout the years and lost most of his fortune. He will no longer listen to family or anyone but wants to rekindle relationship with his children.
My dad came over as a teenager and asian immigrant. He started his own business at age 21 saving money working as a bell boy at the mar riot and made his first million dollars at age 21. His net worth at one point was close to 15 million but after the crash in 08 it's probably 1/10 of that now. Plus, our family is in more debt and he has very little income coming in. He makes horrible decisions as he is very rash and isn't educated outside of what he's learned in life. He's been scammed MANY times by people promising to get things done for him and he's given then 10k, 100k, 200k, etc. and lost it all. My mom has helped in invest in real estate in the 90's and 2000's and he made half his fortune that way and she always managed the finances and had a say until the last 10 years or so. Now he doesn't listen to anybody, our debt is piling up, and he's not smart enough and doesn't have any money or leverage to do anything. His real estate is sitting there racking up costs because he won't sell. I worked my whole life at his warehouse, his club, doing deliveries, stocking the bar, cleaning trash, bartender, laying tile floor, etc. You name it, i've probably done every blue collar job out there and i did it for 16+ years from around age 6-22. He doesn't let anyone touch his stuff because nobody can do it as well as he can. He's a very handyman that can pretty much trouble shoot, electrical, plumbing, build, clean abestos, etc. but he is horrible with finances and people.
He doesn't listen to anyone and therefore has a horrible relationship with everyone in the family. He was also very abusive and harsh on us and forced us to learn everything through manual labor and punishment (old school Asian style). If i had to describe him for some of you guys to understand, (no offense and this is for reference purposes only) imagine the typical old school italian dad who owns his own restaurant and has done well but his restaurant is now crappy. He won't listen to anyone and no one can see eye to eye with him. He knows he has a horrible relationship with his kids and he is proud of us. He tries to talk to us and he literally frustrates us because we can't have conversations (every time we sit down, he tries to teach us how he's smarter or what he knows that we don't). The last 7 years he's basically put the family in a worse and worse situation and everyone has given up try to tell him what to do and let him just do his own thing. We only talk to him about none business/finance related things otherwise it'd be a huge heated debate where we end up walking away because he always feels like he's right.
He told me no one can have built such a nice ship the way that he has (aka everything he owns/acocmplished, etc.) and i broke it to him that sure his ship is as nice as the titanic but it has huge holes everywhere and it's sinking. He's not willing to listen to other opinions and continues on his path which is driving this sinking ship to the bottom of the ocean. He did not take this well and it turned to shouting.
He makes a big effort to talk to us (his children) but is so hard for us to really talk back because he's so stubborn. How can we reason with him? Any older gents have advice.
TlR
Dad is old washed previously successful uneducated businessman. He didn't adapt well throughout the years and lost most of his fortune. He will no longer listen to family or anyone but wants to rekindle relationship with his children.