Cancelling first date (OLD date)

[BJP1991]

Say you match a girl a week or two back and line up a date to meet for a drink or two.

Then you suddenly just are not into it. Say you have better things going with other plates or honestly just want an evening to chill and not spend money. In my current case, the girl is already being a bit annoying and trying to get text convo going almost daily. I play along but keep it short and light and don’t let it turn into a fullblown text convo. All in all, the girl is seeming more and more like one who I would not want to date.

How do you cancel? Especially if you are not sure that you’d want to even try to make another date with them?

Before anyone goes saying “a man keeps his word, yadda yadda yadda” I understand it, but I care more about myself than a girl I’ve never seen before in real life. Call it selfish or whatever, but I really think it’s not a big deal.

Thoughts?

 

[Glassguy]

"Hey Heather, not going to be able to make it on Wednesday"

You are allowed to be selfish.

 

[Glassguy]

I would probably keep the date.......

But a strong frame is doing what you want and what is best for you. If he is already having doubts about meeting her and she already annoying him, it makes no sense to go and waste time. Our most valuable commodity.

 

[Spaz]

Sorry guys but I do regularly cancel dates, I know it's a bad habit and kind of hits the woman feelings hard, but if I'm not feeling it or for something I consider more important, like a sudden opportunity for business, I'll cancel.

However i'd be very diplomatic about it, inform her early in the day before she gets all dressed up.

I'd use some excuse like an emergency at work etc which actually means there's an opportunity to make money.

But then I'd offer to bring her out some other day to somewhere special.

Not gonna lie, some, I don't ever get a future date but most do after pulling off that stunt.

 

[backseatjuan]

Brah, just tell her to not be late, wait 15 minutes, and leave, or be blunt with her, tell her you ate some kind of sht and feeling sck, so it's not gonna work, some other time.
**I learned that if you're doing something illegal and you thinking about cops, then you shouldn't be doing it.
Same thing with you, maybe it's your inner voice telling you to avoid some kind of danger that your 6th sense is sensing.

 

[BJP1991]

Thanks all.

I think I may just keep the date but leave it at one drink, unless I am proved wrong and end up having a better time than I expect.

If nothing else, it could help keep me in an abundance mindset? I’ve been dating other women, two of which I feel I like a lot, so doing this date tonight may benefit me in other areas as well? Thoughts on that?

 

[Glassguy]

I think I may just keep the date but leave it at one drink, unless I am proved wrong and end up having a better time than I expect.

Thats probably your best option. Who knows, you might have a great time with this chick

 

[Dash Riprock]

"Hey Heather, not going to be able to make it on Wednesday"

You are allowed to be selfish.

This.

Dating and especially OLD is a rough sport and there are going to be injuries and bruises. I try to give as much advance notice as possible if I'm cancelling. I NEVER no-show or just flake. THAT is BS. But cancelling, the girl probably does it all the time too so it's no big deal. Just be brief as @Glassguy wrote. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

 

[BJP1991]

Well, my gut was right. Total dud of a first date, but lasted only an hour and cost me 6 bucks. All in all, feels better than cancelling and tacked on a little more experience along the way, I guess.

 

[DelayedGratification]

I've had women cancel on me an hour beforehand, or two, just obscene. I've had dates that gave me bad vibes that went worse than I thought. Although I'm normally one to respect someone else's time (since no woman seems to respect mine), I'd say cancelling at the earliest time you aren't feeling the vibe is not the end of the world. A no-show is not cool. But cancelling? Not a big deal. The OLD social norms are so bad that any sort of cancellation notice is being above the fray.

 

[biggoal]

Well, my gut was right. Total dud of a first date, but lasted only an hour and cost me 6 bucks. All in all, feels better than cancelling and tacked on a little more experience along the way, I guess.

Sounds like mine two weeks ago from old. Super chatty in texting almost to the point she was annoying me at my night job and interfering and then on the date acted totally strange and different. So what went wrong on this date? From reading this forum and love shack it seems the higher end hbs seem to be duds more on old dates. Why is that?