Cancelling date....

[jnMissouri]

My gf and I just spent a lot of time together on a trip. She's been even more communicative since we got back, (texts and calls daily, sometimes calls twice a day). We don't live together at this time.

She wasn't feeling well the other day so I went to check on her and help her feel better. We had a scheduled date later this week but I'm debating cancelling it. We spent a lot of time together and I don't want to be TOO available or have things get stale. That said, our date night this week would have been a dinner out. When I went over to her house it wasn't a date so much as I took care of her and we had sex, then I left not long after.

So keep the date or cancel it? I was debating hanging out with my friends the whole weekend instead of half the weekend. Normally she comes over Friday and we spend the weekend together split between her place and mine. This time I was planning on telling her I have other plans with my friends Saturday so she'd have to leave the next morning. Either that or I just cancel it, though she might not take that too well. Then again she might be more attracted if I do, I was a bit worried about her making our date later this week on account of her being sick and she knows that. Now she's better and it might show a LACK of neediness if I cancel, just in case I came across as needy by being worried about it. It might confuse her and she always tells me I confuse her and she can't figure me out and that I'm a challenge to figure out.

 

[Scars]

I think too many guys confuse pick up game with relationship game. When a GF is acting like this she usually just needs a little extra attention (especially if she is already the insecure type). You already have her, you're already ****ing her, buying her flowers or taking her on a date is not beta. I am the same way. I live my life and wonder why a girl is getting moody saying I don't care about her. I can't logically or emotionally understand it. But I know if I take her on a date or show her extra attention it fixes it, until the next time. This is a trait mostly of insecure women and should be a red flag for you. Proceed with caution. Just remember, if you won't give her attention, then some other guy will, and this is how seeds are planted and cheating happens. It really depends on your goals and how much you care about this girl.

I think you need to ask yourself what kind of future you see with her. If you want her around, you're gonna have to play the relationship game. You can't treat her like a plate anymore, or she's gonna think you have other plates and will get jealous. Trust me, if you're only keeping her around for sex she will pick up on it and figure it out. Just don't get jealous when she's ****ing Chad down the street.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Nah. Don’t cancel dates unless she’s been acting bvtchy and you have to deter that behavior. It’s always best to stick to your word.

 

[rjc149]

Either that or I just cancel it, though she might not take that too well. Then again she might be more attracted if I do,

This mentality and approach will cost you this relationship, if you’re trying to maintain it. Alienating needy women in order to “keep them attracted” drives them into the arms of your replacement.

Just communicate with her clearly that you’d like a little guy time and a little space. Don’t cancel the date, but make sure she understands how you feel.

 

[Black Widow Void]

If she provided you with sex when she wasn't feeling well... and you provide her with isolation when she's feeling better.

You figure out the outcome.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

My gf and I just spent a lot of time together on a trip. She's been even more communicative since we got back, (texts and calls daily, sometimes calls twice a day). We don't live together at this time.

She wasn't feeling well the other day so I went to check on her and help her feel better. We had a scheduled date later this week but I'm debating cancelling it. We spent a lot of time together and I don't want to be TOO available or have things get stale. That said, our date night this week would have been a dinner out. When I went over to her house it wasn't a date so much as I took care of her and we had sex, then I left not long after.

So keep the date or cancel it? I was debating hanging out with my friends the whole weekend instead of half the weekend. Normally she comes over Friday and we spend the weekend together split between her place and mine. This time I was planning on telling her I have other plans with my friends Saturday so she'd have to leave the next morning. Either that or I just cancel it, though she might not take that too well. Then again she might be more attracted if I do, I was a bit worried about her making our date later this week on account of her being sick and she knows that. Now she's better and it might show a LACK of neediness if I cancel, just in case I came across as needy by being worried about it. It might confuse her and she always tells me I confuse her and she can't figure me out and that I'm a challenge to figure out.

I, too, think you are confusing "dating game" and LTR dynamics. She is your gf and potential LTR, treat it as such.

And while I get what you are trying to do, your approach is wrong. What you truly need is a life of your own, one that will leave her craving you. Both in dating and LTR, being too available will consciously/unconsciously tell a woman you are low value aka you have nothing of importance going on in your life other than her.

Hope that makes sense.


Modern Man Advice