Cancelled date and her thinking

[SoldMySoul]

I met this woman and we had a date. The night before she called apologizing and trying to act all sweet and cancelled. Her excuse was she had to work at home and catch up because it was end of the month. I was indeed aggravated, but did not try going over the top. While she was on phone telling me this she got another call and switched over. I waited for a minute and hung up.

Almost one hour later, she called back and gave this excuse.. it was work and when she switched back over I was gone. I was like no shyt, I am not waiting for anybody and you called me and put me on hold. She said why are you being so cold. I asked her what do you expect.

Right before she hung up, she said will you call me tomorrow. I SAID NO, IF YOU WANT TO TALK CALL ME.

I guess what had me so annoyed was not the cancelling, but no counter offer for a date was given and after her cancelling asking me to call her. What do you guys think? Sounds like to me she is a typical flakey woman wanting me to jump through her little hoops. SHE only lives a few miles from where we were going and I think she could have taken the time out to make the date personally.

 

[squirrels]

Did she offer a counter-proposal? i.e. another date?

Dunno about you, but if I got cancelled on and THEN put on hold for a full 60 seconds, I would not have answered the phone when she called back. Let her go to voicemail.

It could've been a legit excuse. Regardless of whether it was legit or not, she was forced to cancel on you. The onus is on her to make up for it.

And yet now, you're hanging there wondering, "What does this mean? Is she interested? Is she flaking? Is she for real?"

Women can see through it like glass when you put on a "fvck you" act...when you act like you can blow her off any time because you CAN'T blow her off and want to make a power play.

 

[Paradox]

She is no longer interested in you.

Clue #1 She cancelled your date.

Clue #2 She made no counter offer

Clue #3 She put you on hold instead of calling you back or calling the other party back

Clue #4 If a girl is really interested she would have taken the time out to make the date. A girl with a high IL will dump friends, cancel prior plans, skip work...ect just to be with you. The higher her IL the more sacrifices she will make to be with you.

I had a date cancel on me in April. Strangely enough she called me on Friday 8/3/07. When I asked who it was she was surprised. I had removed her number from my phonebook so I really didn't know who she was at first. I asked how she was doing and ended the call by saying I was busy.

This did me no good since she was calling for a reason. I had to next her so that she would not act so poorly with the next guy. Sometimes you have to do that.

 

[SoldMySoul]

I was not asking did anyone think she was interested. I overplayed my hand with this one. I was really just wanting to make a statement about the common, typical flake. NO COUNTER OFFER WAS MADE BY HER, but like I said, I thought it was real stupid of her to ask will I call her after she cancelled. I AGREE 150 PERCENT IF THEY are really interested they will go through with date or make a counter offer. I have deleted all of her numbers from my phone. Funny thing is it is a small world, she lives 50 miles from me and come to find out a girl I dated lives in her neighborhood one street over, this woman does not think highly of her at all. I really think that is what this is about.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Paradox-----This did me no good since she was calling for a reason. I had to next her so that she would not act so poorly with the next guy. Sometimes you have to do that---



THAT IS FUNNY.. so put her in her place so she will not be so damn disrespectful to the next guy... I like that

 

[KarmaSutra]

Call her closest friend and take HER out and then eat the pvssy until your face looks like fresh ground sirloin.

Women have zero loyalty to each other when it comes to men.

 

[squirrels]

I was not asking did anyone think she was interested. I overplayed my hand with this one. I was really just wanting to make a statement about the common, typical flake.

We've all been flaked on. It happens. Don't dwell.

 

[joekerr31]

you did the right thing. props to you for being stand up and being the prize!

the key to finding a woman who is the one for you is to NEXT the low quality ones.

some people in this world are just utterly disrespectful of other people's time, emotions, and person in general. both men and women like this aren't worth your time.

the only thing i'd add to this is a VERY simple technique - LAUGH.

like if she had said to me 'so give me a call ok'

my response would have been to pause for a moment, let hte silence hang for a second, then laugh, then id say 'surrrrrre thing.' (with a very noticeable sense of sarcasm).

my experience has been that nothing gets under a womans skin more than when you laugh at her. women are use to men getting mad at them, they totally dismiss an aggressive reaction - they are conditioned to ignore it and pay it no attention.

but when you laugh at them - WOW - now that gets the REALLY pissed. its the equivalent of saying 'what a silly little thing you are."

 

[edger]

I had a date cancel on me in April. Strangely enough she called me on Friday 8/3/07.

Hah! Had a one nighter with a chic 4 yrs ago. After that night, we made plans to go to the beach that following week, but we both cancelled due to the rain. She calls me 4 months later, and leaves a message, "Hi Edger, it's Karen, the girl you rescued/saved(at the bar), whatever you wanna call it. I've been meaning to call you, I've just been, very busy." Hahaha. Chix man, they're amazing.

By the way, I never saved or rescued this chic in any way, she just put it like that.

 

[Boschy]

Getting upset easily is a sign of insecurity. People know this intuitively. Plan accordingly.

 

[amoka]

My response:
Would you call me back tomorrow? Yes, I will. Then delete her number from your phone book. Don't ever get in touch with her again. Never! She'll probably call few days later, and don't pick up since you don't 'recognize the number'. Period.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Recently, I can't remember exactly "when" it happened, but something within me has changed. I have become a little colder, a little harder, a little more RUTHLESS in my screening processes.

Finally, something inside of me has made me more aware that THESE days...Victory Unlimited is NOW made up of STERNER stuff than he used to be...

It could be because now that I'm am standing OUTSIDE of the "matrix", I can see most ALL of the shyt that women try to get away with with their subcommunications. Or maybe it's just that my level of internal OUTRAGE has begun to spill over into my actions. Or maybe it's just that the older I get, the more I become aware that I don't have time to waste on disingterested women.

Whatever the reason, as a female associate of mine said to me recently:

"Victory, you were right about what you said about "Girl A" you were dating. But do you REALLY have to be so hard on them when they try to get away with shyt with you? People are just PEOPLE. So do you really have to always put your foot on their NECKS???"

Well, my answer to her was a goddamm "YES". Because if "I" don't, who else is gonna do it? lol

No longer do I seem to tolerate women disrespecting me in ANY fashion. I find that I leave NO bad deed unaddressed or UNPUNISHED in some way. Although, MANY here may disagree, but RARELY do I "just" walk away from a slight or a casual disrespectful act attempted to be perpetrated upon me by some woman who suddenly reveals to me that she is a "low character women."

IF the circumstances allow it, I often will disect their behavior, identify it for what it is, practically MAKE them confess to it-------THEN laugh at them from an ELEVATED position-----THEN I walk away.

For some reason, I feel compelled by either vengeance or righteous indignation (or BOTH?) to let these bytches KNOW who the fukk they are dealing with when it comes to who "I" am.

I'm not sure if this is the HIGH road that I take. And in fact, I'm pretty certain it's a very VINDICTIVE tact that I usually take. And I confess to not ALWAYS being proud of it...but one thing I always know know for certain is this:

Nothing makes me feel better than to end shyt with a woman like this KNOWING that "she" now knows that I am ON to her tactics of disrespect----and have jerked away the rug of callous self-interest that she was standing ont. Leaving her ass "fallen" off her pedestal, and brought lower than a ****roach-----AT LEAST in the eyes of "one" man-----ME.

Yes, I've left more than a few women standing with their mouths gaped open recently in shock, embarassment, and disbelief...and I feel that there will be MANY more added to that list before I run into one who is NOT worthy of such heavy-handed, retaliatory treatment from me.'

So strap yourself IN, troops. Because I can pretty much guarrantee that the more women who reveal themselves to be "bytches" in MY PRESENCE...the more my "SHOCKING SPREE" is likely to continue...



Peace?....NOT TODAY.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Hm, the past few women I've tried to establish something with have showed signs of flakyness and I've just cut it off. I don't give them reasons why and I don't give them any insight on how to treat people. There were times I wanted to but I just didn't. For me personally, I just have too much bitterness towards certain kinds of women and for me to tell them how to respect people...I'm just afraid I would be seen as too emotional, like they're actually getting to me.

I guess it's all about perspective too.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Hm, the past few women I've tried to establish something with have showed signs of flakyness and I've just cut it off. QUOTE]

The other day my friend and I had a discussion on this very thing. After a while, you do get tired of the disrespect and any hint of flakyness YOU do not even want to deal with the hassle. He and I are having about the same luck with woman as of late, but it probably is a good thing because after some time with this behavior, it toughens you up and makes you harder as Victory Unlimited pointed and I can certainly understand his view point!! What is funny even the hb7s that aren't kockouts are pulling this shyt and I guess it explains why they 2-3 kids and are single/ divorced. Someone else put up with crap and she is single/ divorced for a reason.

 

[Vulpine]

I don't give them reasons why and I don't give them any insight on how to treat people.

I know it seems like a waste of breath, but without offering any logic behind it, you just leave the chick the same as you found her: stuck on stupid.

I've adopted a response like: "Wait, I understand. There is a way you treat people that you WANT to be around. This isn't THAT way: good bye."

Without any explanation, the chick thinks "I don't know what happened. He must be a weirdo." With an explanation the chick thinks, "What an a-hole! Wait... I... but... maybe I shouldn't..."

At least there's a chance of the chick catching on and you've done your little part in making the woman race better. It seems unlikely, but at least there is a possibility that she'll make a connection in her head: AFC's stick around, quality guys bounce.

 

[Mr.Positive]

I know it seems like a waste of breath, but without offering any logic behind it, you just leave the chick the same as you found her: stuck on stupid.

I've adopted a response like: "Wait, I understand. There is a way you treat people that you WANT to be around. This isn't THAT way: good bye."

Without any explanation, the chick thinks "I don't know what happened. He must be a weirdo." With an explanation the chick thinks, "What an a-hole! Wait... I... but... maybe I shouldn't..."

At least there's a chance of the chick catching on and you've done your little part in making the woman race better. It seems unlikely, but at least there is a possibility that she'll make a connection in her head: AFC's stick around, quality guys bounce.

I've been thinking about this recently. I nexted one gal in particular a couple of weeks, just decided she wasn't worth my time.

Sometimes I think that with nexting, unless you speak your mind, you are just cowering away and you lose.

I know the point is that by walking away you say everything. But, honestly, do women interpret it this way?

She could be thinking "well, he's not man enough for me". We all know that women have huge ego's most of the time.

I'm thinking the next time I next someone, I'm just going to calmly say something like Vulpine's response. Women need to know that they f*cked up sometimes.

 

[SoldMySoul]

I think Vulpine offers excellent advice, however, there are sometimes we just can't give a reason for some reason or another. But just saying that you should be respectful to a person you want to be around offers a load of insight to the stuck on stupid. I am really starting to value my time more and if a woman can't be respectful of that, it surely is NEXT!!!

 

[STR8UP]

Sometimes I think that with nexting, unless you speak your mind, you are just cowering away and you lose.

I'm thinking the next time I next someone, I'm just going to calmly say something like Vulpine's response. Women need to know that they f*cked up sometimes.

You aren't cowering at all. You are showing your disapproval by removing your attention from her.

Any time I have tried to "put her in her place" it has inevitably ended with me on the LOSING end, and every time I have refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing me riled up and just WALKED AWAY, I came out a winner.

 

[Interceptor]

I think Vulpine offers excellent advice, however, there are sometimes we just can't give a reason for some reason or another. But just saying that you should be respectful to a person you want to be around offers a load of insight to the stuck on stupid. I am really starting to value my time more and if a woman can't be respectful of that, it surely is NEXT!!![/QUOTE]

 

[Mr.Positive]

You aren't cowering at all. You are showing your disapproval by removing your attention from her.

Any time I have tried to "put her in her place" it has inevitably ended with me on the LOSING end, and every time I have refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing me riled up and just WALKED AWAY, I came out a winner.

Thanks Str8up, that's what I needed to hear. There's still a part of me that thinks AFC-like. I felt "guilty" with this one in particular by nexting her, when I shouldn't.

I guess the main thing is not to lose control. We win because we don't have to put up with her sh!t, and can move on to bigger and better things.