"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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cancel coffee date or not

poohead

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an HB asian gothic rocker messaged me on myspace yesterday, i went from email, to im, to phone. we talked for an hour or so last night and i was getting extremely HI levels. i asked to meet tomorrow, i made the mistake of saying 'you name the place'. she chose a starbucks literally about 3 blocks from my house. we live about a 20 minute drive from each other. i told her 'that's right by my house' she said 'that's ok'.

she is into me, i don't want to kill this momentum. but at the same time i am hesitant about meeting at a starbucks so close to my place.

my place right now is a disaster area. i will not be able to make it presentable to females by tomorrow. i would not be able to bring her here tomorrow. it kind of sucks because if i had the day off to clean i am pretty sure i could bring her back home tomorrow night to escalate the kino.

i don't want to come off as weird to her and out of the blue say why don't we meet somewhere else, or if things start getting flirtatious have to say something like 'well i'd really like to go some place private and make out with you right now, but we can't go back to my place even though it's close'. what would you do - just go or reschedule?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S1NN3R

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Don't you think that totally cancelling on her will jack up the momentum in a worse way than just not inviting her to your place?

Seems simple to me, go out, have coffee, and don't ask her back to your place. What's the hard part?
 

Viktor

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My experience is that once women get back to my place, if I've been making out with them and turning them on, and it's clear we're going back for sex, it doesn't matter how bad it looks.

Just clean it up a bit so it's not putrid. If she wants it, she wants it.
 

Charm

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Your place must be a real pig sty. Oink!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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blinkwatt

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Just throw it all in a closet. There is no room that can be prettied up in a hour. Light a scented candle(Vanilla) and go to cleaning,get stuff off the ground,throw as much in the closet as possible and vacumm. Leave a magazine/book or two out(she should ask you about them). There is no reason why your room cant be cleaned.
 

In_the_Wild

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I had an appartment once in Germany that was like the ugliest, ****tiest place imaginable. No heating, 22 sqm, 6th floor no elevator.

I brought girl over, played music on my laptop, put the lights out, lit the gas-oven, and the place was all cozy.

Doesn't have to be all that.
 

poohead

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inviting her over or fixing the place up is not an option. i have to be at work and i won't be home all day so i won't be able to clean up.
 

NewMan

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This is prime example of why your place needs to be presentable all the time - you never know when a new piece of a## will be around.

What I recomend is that you get up a hour earlier than normal and clean the important stuff. Do the dishes, clean the bathroom - throw all junk in the closet and put around the hoover.

There have been plenty of times in the past where I have had to perform an emergency clean. 30 mins - 1hr should be plenty of time. If it's not, then you have a problem.


Also this is a gothic chick - it'll probably rune her on that you live like a pig.
 

poohead

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i've managed to redirect it - called her and had her pick me up, and now we're going to a wine bar slightly farther from my place and closer to her place.

i agree, though. if my place were ready to go i would skip all of this business and just invite her over to watch a movie.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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