"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Can YOUR looks be social proof by themselves?

Bballswingr1

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I was wondering, because im well liked, but not really popular (I dont really party much or anything). Yet I can still attract some of the hottest. Any input? (BTW, im not a bad looking guy, if u didnt figure that out by the title ;)
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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S1NN3R

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Well, let's look at this. Social proof requires some form of interaction from society. That's what makes it "social" proof. Your looks have nothing to do with society, and thusly are completely unrelated to "social" proof.

I'm no etymologist, but I would have thought this would be fairly obvious.
 

Bballswingr1

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hmm maybe social proof wasnt wat i was looking for there? Im new to this, but as i understand it the theory is that social proof is how well you are perceived by others, right? Well maybe i meant can looks make up for the lack of popularity? Also, i have lots of friends, we go out often on dates, hangouts, etc. but we dont really party. So im not like a loner.
 

raidou

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Yes sometimes your looks can serve as social proof because the girls you are likely to interact with generally have the same opinions about good looks and bad looks. Also, looks are partly defined by society as well as individual opinions. However, this is not to say that obtaining social proof depends on looks alone. You can find alot more about social proof elsewhere.
 

S1NN3R

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Bballswingr1 said:
hmm maybe social proof wasnt wat i was looking for there? Im new to this, but as i understand it the theory is that social proof is how well you are perceived by others, right? Well maybe i meant can looks make up for the lack of popularity? Also, i have lots of friends, we go out often on dates, hangouts, etc. but we dont really party. So im not like a loner.
I see, so you meant something more along the lines of "can good looks take the place of social proof effectively?"

Let's use an anology. Good looks can be like Chick A, and social proof can be like Chick B. Now, having Chick A in your bed is a good thing, but if you can't have Chick A in your bed, Chick B might be able to take her place. But having Chick A and Chick B in bed at the same time, now that just rocks.

In other words, even if you have good looks and can get along on them well enough, you should still work on other aspects of attracting girls, because attraction is cumulative. The more attractive things you do, the more attractive you become (it's a simple concept, but so many do certain things to make up for others without realising the huge benefits of doing both or all othe them). So even if looks can make up for lack of social proof, that's no excuse to not work on improving your social proof because together they'll work wonders.

And don't mistake social proof for popularity per se. Social proof isn't really just how you are percieved by others, but a more specific facet of that in that you can improve how others percieve you by the company you keep. If you have quality people with you, it improves the way you come off to people, and conversely if you surround yourself with losers, your initial impression goes down. Think of it as "first impressions graded on a curve".

When a girl sees you dripping with other hot girls, your value goes up in her mind. She might also seek to gain your approval, because if it appears to her that only the extraordinary are awarded your time, then if she can get you to spend time with her, it will raise her self worth as well.

You don't have to be exceedingly popular to pull this off. A few high qual friends will help you more than gaggles of average ones. It's such a successful idea that there are even companies that specialise in essentially rent out arm candy, girls who go out to clubs/events with you, not for the porpose of being on a date with you, but to improve your social proof and help get other girls interest levels up before you even make an approach.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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WC2

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I am/was sort of in the same boat as you in high school. Guess how much pvssy I got? Hardly any. Good looks can get simple girls to bed. Good looks might get an intelligent girl to take interest in you. But if you don't have the wit to back it up, then your value easily goes down.

The older you get, the less good looks are going to carry you. It's going to be hard to rely on good looks in college when there are many other guys out there who are just as good looking, who can really keep a girl's heart ticking also.

Use your natural advantage, and take some risks. Open up conversations with girls you just met. Since you're something thats easy on the eyes, they'll be easier to talk to. Don't make the same mistake I did and go into college thinking that you don't need any experience. We all can better ourselves
 

Bballswingr1

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Wow S1NN3R that was a good post, really cleared up social proof. Thanks for the help from everyone else too. I have been actively trying to improve my overall game, and i think im doing pretty good, got a bunch of numbers in the last few weeks, which is like more than i ever got in my life before this site :). Thanks for the help
 

B-Lemond

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What you probably meant was the term Pre-Selection which goes hand-in-hand with Social Proof.

Yes, your looks, or should I say HOW you look, can make you look Pre-Selected, thus increasing your Social Proof.

One way in which Mystery does this is by getting a female to put on RED lipstick and then give him a kiss on the neck.

:yes:
 

Visceral

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I've wondered about something similar to this for a long time ... are looks social proof in the sense that they can reinforce or detract from the rest of your image?

Is it possible for your physical appearance (height, build, and face ... not clothes, grooming, etc. since these can be changed) and your actions/personality to contradict each other in a way that makes your actions/personality seem fake or even wrong?

Nobody complains when a tall, muscular, good-looking guy does or says something that doesn't fit the "alpha male" stereotype, but when a short, scrawny, ugly guy does or says something that doesn't fit the "nerd" or "loser" stereotypes, people act like it's the end of the world. He'll either get laughed out of the room as a poser, or put back in his place (as if he were a threat to the natural order) by the aforementioned alpha male.

I'm always afraid this is what's going to happen to me as soon as I start trying to change myself.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sstype

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Visceral said:
I've wondered about something similar to this for a long time ... are looks social proof in the sense that they can reinforce or detract from the rest of your image?

Is it possible for your physical appearance (height, build, and face ... not clothes, grooming, etc. since these can be changed) and your actions/personality to contradict each other in a way that makes your actions/personality seem fake or even wrong?

Nobody complains when a tall, muscular, good-looking guy does or says something that doesn't fit the "alpha male" stereotype, but when a short, scrawny, ugly guy does or says something that doesn't fit the "nerd" or "loser" stereotypes, people act like it's the end of the world. He'll either get laughed out of the room as a poser, or put back in his place (as if he were a threat to the natural order) by the aforementioned alpha male.

I'm always afraid this is what's going to happen to me as soon as I start trying to change myself.
Cause people don't want to risk losing face to a tall, muscular, good-looking guy. They would rather leech off of his high social status (yes men)
Nerds, on the other hand, are at the bottom of the social latter who do not deserve to be treated with any admiration for their lack of social graces
 
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