Can you usually deal well with rejection from someone in one of your groups

[Kaim Argonar]

If the girl you want to ask out is part of a school, work, club environment that you frequent regularly and are to frequent for a long time to come, the possibility of rejection is there. However when you can't walk away from that person after the rejection comes, isn't there a danger to screw up the whole group's synergy? It isn't that bad I guess because you didn't really knew them in the first place and there is no friendship or whatever to lose, but being forced to deal with a person who didn't want anything to do with you for a while is ****ty. And then you always wonder if others will get to know it and start drama about it.

From my experience girls mostly act like the proposal didn't exist after the demand failed.

 

[Axcell]

Haha, this should belong in the High School section..

 

[Omen]

Example: I told a woman I liked her who I worked with last night. I got shot down. The whole... I dont want to ruin our friendship, and that whole nonsense. She was like... You aren't going to be all weird at work now are you?

I was like.... Do I look like I am in high school?

I dont care, it doesn't bother me, there are other girls out there, and she wasn't the last one on the face of the earth.

A rejection isn't the end of the world. Maybe some find it harder in those settings, but my attitude is so... "I dont care", that it doesn't bother me.
I'll see her tomorrow, and say... hey what's up, and still talk to her like I did before.

Women notice when you're being a little b*tch. So if I was to walk around all sad and upset and not talk to her, that wouldn't be a DJ thing to do.

You play it cool, you realize... Crap, I didnt get that one this time, and you move on.

But nothing against all high school kids, but not dealing with that is something they would do.

There is only drama IF YOU MAKE DRAMA.

Some people tell you not to get involved in people at work, cause it will screw things up. But the point is that if you find one at work, or with friends, or in a group, or whatever, and you like them, then that's something you have to risk. You can either not tell the person, or tell the person. You may find that the woman goes... I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO ASK ME OUT, and you may find you get shot down. It's all about chances.

 

[Kaim Argonar]

Recently I had some sort of dilemma. There is a girl in my class that I find very slightly attractive, but not enough so that she stays continuously on my mind. A few weeks ago I was at a bus terminus, and I met her randomly. I then smiled and said hi which she did back, and then promptly left since she was accompanied by what looked to be her father and little brother.

Then a few days ago I was in a mall late one evening, looking to purchase groceries. I thought I could enter it and then proceed to the grocery shop instead of using the entry door in the back. Upon entering I notice that only the music store to the right is open, but that the way to the rest of the mall is blocked when it's so late. Then as I'm about to exit the mall and make my way in the back to the other door, I see her sitting on a bench. As we were both alone, it seemed like a golden opportunity.

Only I wasn't sure that it was her as her face was inclined and she was using her thin laptop, but it sure did look like her then. In those split-seconds I thought of saying something like "Hey, I know you... we're in the same program at uni" and then talk about the exam we had the day before, and perhaps ask her out if she seemed to like me. But then I wasn't so sure that it was that girl from class and simply headed back.

Today I saw her again and there really is no doubt as she has the same coat and the same thin laptop.

By now I don't know if I should approach her in class next time I see her and ask if she was present in that deserted mall on that evening, and also tell that it's a funny coincidence to meet in two completely unrelated places, as even if I'm certain to be able to look innocent (I'm very skilled at deception), it's pretty long after it happened and I don't know if it would sound a bit obsessive.

So yeah most girls I asked out in a group who rejected me did so politely without acting differently in the next meetings and without telling anyone in the group, but I don't know if they'd all be so coy if such a thing occured. I know that most girls are way more emotional and insecure than guys and the propositioning itself doesn't faze me at all, but I wouldn't like to get a reputation out of things like these. Especially in class, as it's a high level of stress and duress, I ultimately don't care, but I'd prefer my affective life and my professional life to be completely separated. If I really love a girl then the risk seems worth doing, but if I have a low level of interest as the odds of success of asking out are always very low it doesn't seem to be worth the wager.