Can you salvage complete screw ups?

[Matt Rogers]

As I am sure a lot of you know, I have become incredibly infatuated with a Finnish girl. I made a great impression initially and chatted her up, got her number and had a fabulous first date, but I sort of lost it after that, and got incredibly insecure and lost my composure, getting cross with her for not returning my calls, getting annoyed when she flaked on a date, and both times going over the top with wimpy apologies. I left a message asking her out for lunch last week and she did not reply.

I think she liked me a lot initially and was attracted to me, so I was wondering if there was any chance that if we bumped into each other again and I played it cool and controlled myself and was breezy and casual whether I could perhaps have another shot? If so what is the best approach to take?

We have both broken up for holidays for a month or so and chances are I will bump into her next term at some stage. I am planning to work on my physique over the holidays, go somewhere hot and get a tan, and flirt with a lot of girls over the holidays and date a few girls, so should be relaxed and on form when I return.

I have heard stories of people gettting back oneitises in the past after a major selfimprovement spurt, and was wondering how they did this?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
As I am sure a lot of you know, I have become incredibly infatuated with a Finnish girl. I made a great impression initially and chatted her up, got her number and had a fabulous first date, but I sort of lost it after that, and got incredibly insecure and lost my composure, getting cross with her for not returning my calls, getting annoyed when she flaked on a date, and both times going over the top with wimpy apologies. I left a message asking her out for lunch last week and she did not reply.

I think she liked me a lot initially and was attracted to me, so I was wondering if there was any chance that if we bumped into each other again and I played it cool and controlled myself and was breezy and casual whether I could perhaps have another shot? If so what is the best approach to take?

We have both broken up for holidays for a month or so and chances are I will bump into her next term at some stage. I am planning to work on my physique over the holidays, go somewhere hot and get a tan, and flirt with a lot of girls over the holidays and date a few girls, so should be relaxed and on form when I return.

I have heard stories of people gettting back oneitises in the past after a major selfimprovement spurt, and was wondering how they did this?

Chances are that she wasn't nearly as impressed with that first date as you were. She wasn't sure if she wanted to date you or not, and went out with you to see if she liked you or not. Apparently she didn't gain any interest after that first date because she "flaked" afterwards. When you reacted as you did, you basically turned her off to the point that she's just not going to ever want to have anything to do with you. Don't waste your time...move on.

 

[cyjay201]

This has happened to me, I was a complete AFC last year. Fell flat on my face for this girl that wasn't worth it. This year I had class with her and she started talking to me first, told me that I had changed, but she wasn't sure in what way.

She actually asked me to hang out, so I went to her house to watch a movie. I dated her for about a month, then she started to get too clingy for my liking. So we both moved on.

It's not an easy thing to do, but I would suggest just moving on. Don't give a rats ass about her. If she's in the same room as you, don't acknowledge her unless she comes to talk to you first. Just make herself realize that she made a mistake.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I do appreciate that it is her decision if she wants to start things off again as she blew me off. But I thought that if she saw that I had really changed and become more confident, less needy and altogether cooler she might give me another chance, as she showed high interest level initially before I started becoming needy and acting controlling and pushy.

 

[Fatality]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
As I am sure a lot of you know, I have become incredibly infatuated with a Finnish girl. I made a great impression initially and chatted her up, got her number and had a fabulous first date, but I sort of lost it after that, and got incredibly insecure and lost my composure, getting cross with her for not returning my calls, getting annoyed when she flaked on a date, and both times going over the top with wimpy apologies. I left a message asking her out for lunch last week and she did not reply.

I think she liked me a lot initially and was attracted to me, so I was wondering if there was any chance that if we bumped into each other again and I played it cool and controlled myself and was breezy and casual whether I could perhaps have another shot? If so what is the best approach to take?

We have both broken up for holidays for a month or so and chances are I will bump into her next term at some stage. I am planning to work on my physique over the holidays, go somewhere hot and get a tan, and flirt with a lot of girls over the holidays and date a few girls, so should be relaxed and on form when I return.

I have heard stories of people gettting back oneitises in the past after a major selfimprovement spurt, and was wondering how they did this?

Maybe this girl is playing mind games the way YOU do with girls you aren't attracted to.

What goes around comes around.

 

[DJnomore]

Yes...But

only if you don't care if you aren't successful salvaging them.

 

[Bonhomme]

Sometimes

Depends upon the screwup and the gal.

DJnomore makes a good point, too. The less you care, the better, and the more likely you are to succeed. Oneitis begone!

 

[christz]

onitis is the plauge god.. i never want to feel that way again, knowing damn well i probably will