Can you really read your way to a better mood, and more confidence?

[harkkam08]

Something that I've noticed about all self-help in general that it tries to give you confidence and a better mood through the use of repetitive positive concepts to psyche you up into feeling better.

However a few hours later your "state" is down in the dumps again. So I ask is it even possible to make yourself feel like:

-you are the prize
-you are alpha
-you are blah, blah etc

by just reading about it?

Can you change the way you feel about yourself just by reading self help?

Right now I dont feel confident, I dont feel happy, I dont feel attractive nor do I think that I have anything interesting to say.

Can I read the DJ bible everyday, keep telling myself I am the prize because of XYZ and then wake up and feel better.

I doubt it, Im 25 years old and I've been trying since 17 to make this method work. Trying to feel better about myself by reading about it.

Whats your take on it?

How do you gain confidence, a better mood?

 

[dutchmaster]

Yes it works. Just start having good posture in case you don't. Then work on convincing yourself you are the sh!t. Might take some time at first, but after telling myself I'm so great and girls should be grateful I even looked at them it translated into my body language and subconscious, I now feel fukkin great about myself all the time and it works with girls, you immediately come off with high value if you think highly of yourself. Actually my whole thinking has become far more optimistic and I try to find the good in every situation.. It's a long process but it does work. Trust my friend

 

[floydb25]

Well, you can't fake it. You have to feel it, believe it, and know it. You can't just read it... It has to be integrated into your mind. You don't have to be arrogant or conceited about it. Just have a calm confidence within yourself. Remind yourself of the good qualities you have to offer, and the things you DO have. Don't focus on what you don't.

Also, be reasonable and realistic. Negative people focus only on the bad - when there is also good in every situation. For instance, the girl you really wanted, but didn't dig you. What about all those girls you over-looked that did? Just because you weren't into them doesn't mean they didn't like you, or that you're ugly. Or the fact that you had dates. Sure, they might not have went too well, but some people never get the chance. Like, ever.

Always be logical, and think with a clear head. Saying "this sucks, I'm ugly, no one likes me" doesn't get you anywhere, and isn't based off any hard facts. It's a simple-minded way of viewing things. Like saying, "she's a *****". Everyone goes through difficult times... I'm sure its not as bad as you think.

Never forget that you are what you think, and it shows big time. Everyone has an aura about them... You want yours to be positive. Nobody wants to hang out with, or date a downer... Except for those who feel the same way. That's who you will attract, and feel even worse in this bubble of negativity surrounding you.

 

[Racecar]

How do you gain confidence, a better mood?

When people first get in to seduction, they look for the easy fix. I don't think that exists. Confidence and good state are both byproducts of inner game. Inner game is something that takes time to develop.

You gain confidence through appreciating and accepting yourself. That's what those self-help books are getting at. If you're congruent with who you are, you can naturally relate to others and as a result you'll appear more confident.

If you'd like some practical advice, I say step away from all material and take some time to work on yourself. Explore and enjoy your interests. Get yourself in the best possible physical condition and legitimately learn how to take care of yourself. These things have more to do with developing confidence than anything you'll find in a book.

 

[Rubirosa]

Reading is simply sitting on your A$$ and looking at some words. But sometimes words have enough power to make you get up off your A$$ and actually do something (Then you go back and write about what you did for other people to read LOL)

 

[Alex DeLarge]

It does work. Since I found this site and other self-help material, my dating life has greatly increased. Not only that, but my outlook on philosophical thought too.

You can't just read though, you have to apply it as well.

You have to understand the biology of human beings to really understand it. We are VASTLY more socially complex than any other living species on the planet, therefore we can interpret symbols as meaning (you are interpreting everything I write in this post because you have this ability. No other species in the world has it to this degree.) Therefore, we can take that meaning in what we interpret (through reading) and apply it to everyday life.