"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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can you **** in the back seat?

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
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You are probably going to be having sex in your car 1% or less of the entire time that you use it.

It would be better to buy a car that is best suited for the other things that you use it for the other 99% of the time.

Buy something that will reliably get you to work, school, your business or whatever it is that will actually bring you money. You know, the same thing that you can eventually use to get your own place.

Having enough space in the back to have sex is just a plus but shouldn't be your priority.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Roober

Master Don Juan
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You can shag in any vehicle. Finding a location to park can be tricky. It's just a matter of how she trusts you. I've done parking lots and literally just pulled over on the side of the road (not a super busy road obviosuly) and told her to sit on my lap. I'll only bust a nut if it's in her car though, cause I dont want any possible messes in mine.
 

Bible_Belt

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Research your local laws on window tint carefully. In Illinois, where I live, I see people with tinted windows all the time. One would think it is legal, but no, not at all. Any tint on side windows is illegal. But the cops don't write tickets for window tint and a lot of people have it....which is exactly what they want, because it gives them an excuse to pull you over, typically late at night so they can sniff your breath for alcohol. If you were driving legally and had a legal car (no tint), then they do not have a valid reason to pull you over. Requiring police to have a reason to stop you exists because of your 4th Amendment Constitutional right against unreasonable searches. Trading your freedom for window tint is a dumb exchange, in my opinion, but it is exactly what the cops want you to do.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
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My question is why would you want to have sex in the back seat?
That's something you do when you're a teenager, because you don't have any other choice.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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