I'm getting bored/annoyed with life, which sometimes causes me to become slightly manic, so while I clean my house in frustration please allow me to make a list of everything I've got going on at the moment. I would kindly appreciate some words of advice or motivation.I'll start off with the good things.
Good things:
Me and my brother inherited a number of properties from my dad. We have a property worth $1000 000 in the Caribbean. We also own two properties in Amsterdam. One in which I live, worth $250 000 and another worth $200 000 which we rent out. My mom gets the cash as that's how my dad would have wanted it.
I'm 27 years old, but often people say I look around 22. 1m86cm tall, 86 kg, 20% bodyfat. I lift regularly and chicks do notice.
I'm studying for a B.Eng. in civil engineering, for which I should finish in 2018, at the age of 28 if all goes well. I'm planning on doing a Master's in Architecture when I finish.
I work at a bar, if only for the fun of it, and I'll get a lay at least 1/10 times. If I spend some time off, taking care of myself, grooming, resting, gymming and recuperating, the success rate does drastically increase as my energy is much higher after the time off.
Now the more annoying things:
I cannot trust my mother at all and it pisses me off. Honor is a foreign concept to her (as we should all know, it is to all women except joan of arc).
She's manipulated me into taking my schizofrenic brother into my house, and even when he's in a non-violent, non-annoying, non-talking-to-himself-in-the-shower phase, he's usually quite depressed --> Meaning, he's depressing.
I do believe in being benevolent. I'll help out anybody that needs help, and I really wouldn't want to hog the house for myself at all as he also has a right to live here.
Only thing though, there are a few things which annoy me.
His lack of motivation and depressive manner makes it hard for me to stay positive.
I'm trying to be motivated in life and study hard to build a future for myself to hopefully make some goodlooking children with a sexy HB9 and offer them a really nice wonderful future possibly going to private schools. Meanwhile my brother is the laziest person I've ever met in my entire life who doesn't believe in himself to the slightest, gets paranoid just going to the supermarket (which he'll do maybe once or twice a year) and I'm sure he has plenty of suicidal thoughts.
***
Hmm... He's just woken up and given me a tantrum for waking him. He's completely ruined my introspective state so it's quite difficult for me to continue writing and trying to write in a somewhat objective way.
***
I wish I could talk to him in an objective way. I ask him why he doesn't prefer to live with my mom if he's got such a problem living with me and he of course turns it around and asks me why I don't. To which I answer that I could at least make use of this house. At least I use it. I take care of it, I mop the floor, I clean the bathroom, sometimes I have company over. I cook real meals in the kitchen etc. I was getting started on the spring cleaning for example. I've been living here for a few years (of course he's been here too on and off. But he leaves every now and then after a psychotic episode and so I decided to refuse to live with him eventually, by the advice of a lady who specialises in schizophrenics.
He's now back in the house because I agreed to take him in for 2 months while my mom moves to a new location. Now neither of them have recollection of that agreement. So here I am trying to be objective and everyone is calling me an ******* because I don't want to live with him.
So it's a bit of a psychological bombardment from them. I don't really mind living with him as long as he treats me with respect and I get occasional help from my mom in the household on his behalf.
I mean maybe I am just making the living situation worse by saying I don't want to live with him. On the other hand why should I accept responsibility for him? I tell my mom I just want to live a regular student life. I guess fate would simply have it that my brother is like this and we have a house on our name together. In all honesty though, this is quite an unhealthy situation.
I know my refusal to accept his behavior is making his behavior worse, as I am his little brother and he doesn't want to listen to me. On the other hand he's quite immature and just because he's been diagnosed with a mental illness doesn't mean I should be taking any crap from him. In the end he is simply my brother and I do have to learn to deal with it. The thing is though that I could be zen about it and accepting but he will have an irrational outburst eventually.
Sometimes when I go to the gym, especially if I am tired, all of this annoyance comes to the forefront of my mind and I wish my mom would take him into her house. She of course isn't willing to force him as per the deal we'd made earlier.
So it's just taking a bit of a toll on me...
I really didn't mean to write about my fvcking brother so much, but I can barely get any rest psychologically. My mom and my bro say I'm an a$$shole because I don't want to live with my brother, but everyone else is quite appalled that I'm in such a situation. Like I've written before, I now understand how they could chain up schizophrenics in places like Somalia.
I got the advice before on the forum that we should maybe just sell this house. I've proposed it to my brother and my mom, but my brother just takes it as a deep insult because I don't want to live with him so bad. It could at least give me enough money to enjoy life a little bit while I'm young and rent a nice appartment while I study. I'll have to keep my mind open to it.
Two reasons he won't want to sell it:
1. He has barely any prospects for the future besides some kind of welfare to keep him alive. So he might need this place in the long run in the future to live in.
2. He just wants to mooch off me and my company the whole time knowing that he can't fully take care of himself.
I myself wouldn't really want to sell it until I've actually acheived the B.Eng. Only if there is no other way would I be happy about selling it.
He doesn't have any friends in life, besides the ones he made in high school. Me and my mom are the only people he's got. So I really suppose I should be more considerate towards him. It's just difficult for me to remain positive about my own life. If I look at the big picture, believing in myself, that I will become a well-paid architect, or at least a well-paid engineer, I would have to be quite empathetic towards his situation. On the other hand it's not fun for me living with a chronically psychotic individual. It's quite an unsettling thought knowing that he's got a number of voices in his head and I have no idea what they're saying.
Let me know what you guys think. Any advice is appreciated, and keep in mind that we're all here on sosuave to make the most out of our lives, myself included. So let's just all remember that the world is open to us.
So thanks for giving me a platform to lay out my problems again sosuave.
PS: My brother's just apologized for "yelling at me so much".
Good things:
Me and my brother inherited a number of properties from my dad. We have a property worth $1000 000 in the Caribbean. We also own two properties in Amsterdam. One in which I live, worth $250 000 and another worth $200 000 which we rent out. My mom gets the cash as that's how my dad would have wanted it.
I'm 27 years old, but often people say I look around 22. 1m86cm tall, 86 kg, 20% bodyfat. I lift regularly and chicks do notice.
I'm studying for a B.Eng. in civil engineering, for which I should finish in 2018, at the age of 28 if all goes well. I'm planning on doing a Master's in Architecture when I finish.
I work at a bar, if only for the fun of it, and I'll get a lay at least 1/10 times. If I spend some time off, taking care of myself, grooming, resting, gymming and recuperating, the success rate does drastically increase as my energy is much higher after the time off.
Now the more annoying things:
I cannot trust my mother at all and it pisses me off. Honor is a foreign concept to her (as we should all know, it is to all women except joan of arc).
She's manipulated me into taking my schizofrenic brother into my house, and even when he's in a non-violent, non-annoying, non-talking-to-himself-in-the-shower phase, he's usually quite depressed --> Meaning, he's depressing.
I do believe in being benevolent. I'll help out anybody that needs help, and I really wouldn't want to hog the house for myself at all as he also has a right to live here.
Only thing though, there are a few things which annoy me.
His lack of motivation and depressive manner makes it hard for me to stay positive.
I'm trying to be motivated in life and study hard to build a future for myself to hopefully make some goodlooking children with a sexy HB9 and offer them a really nice wonderful future possibly going to private schools. Meanwhile my brother is the laziest person I've ever met in my entire life who doesn't believe in himself to the slightest, gets paranoid just going to the supermarket (which he'll do maybe once or twice a year) and I'm sure he has plenty of suicidal thoughts.
***
Hmm... He's just woken up and given me a tantrum for waking him. He's completely ruined my introspective state so it's quite difficult for me to continue writing and trying to write in a somewhat objective way.
***
I wish I could talk to him in an objective way. I ask him why he doesn't prefer to live with my mom if he's got such a problem living with me and he of course turns it around and asks me why I don't. To which I answer that I could at least make use of this house. At least I use it. I take care of it, I mop the floor, I clean the bathroom, sometimes I have company over. I cook real meals in the kitchen etc. I was getting started on the spring cleaning for example. I've been living here for a few years (of course he's been here too on and off. But he leaves every now and then after a psychotic episode and so I decided to refuse to live with him eventually, by the advice of a lady who specialises in schizophrenics.
He's now back in the house because I agreed to take him in for 2 months while my mom moves to a new location. Now neither of them have recollection of that agreement. So here I am trying to be objective and everyone is calling me an ******* because I don't want to live with him.
So it's a bit of a psychological bombardment from them. I don't really mind living with him as long as he treats me with respect and I get occasional help from my mom in the household on his behalf.
I mean maybe I am just making the living situation worse by saying I don't want to live with him. On the other hand why should I accept responsibility for him? I tell my mom I just want to live a regular student life. I guess fate would simply have it that my brother is like this and we have a house on our name together. In all honesty though, this is quite an unhealthy situation.
I know my refusal to accept his behavior is making his behavior worse, as I am his little brother and he doesn't want to listen to me. On the other hand he's quite immature and just because he's been diagnosed with a mental illness doesn't mean I should be taking any crap from him. In the end he is simply my brother and I do have to learn to deal with it. The thing is though that I could be zen about it and accepting but he will have an irrational outburst eventually.
Sometimes when I go to the gym, especially if I am tired, all of this annoyance comes to the forefront of my mind and I wish my mom would take him into her house. She of course isn't willing to force him as per the deal we'd made earlier.
So it's just taking a bit of a toll on me...
I really didn't mean to write about my fvcking brother so much, but I can barely get any rest psychologically. My mom and my bro say I'm an a$$shole because I don't want to live with my brother, but everyone else is quite appalled that I'm in such a situation. Like I've written before, I now understand how they could chain up schizophrenics in places like Somalia.
I got the advice before on the forum that we should maybe just sell this house. I've proposed it to my brother and my mom, but my brother just takes it as a deep insult because I don't want to live with him so bad. It could at least give me enough money to enjoy life a little bit while I'm young and rent a nice appartment while I study. I'll have to keep my mind open to it.
Two reasons he won't want to sell it:
1. He has barely any prospects for the future besides some kind of welfare to keep him alive. So he might need this place in the long run in the future to live in.
2. He just wants to mooch off me and my company the whole time knowing that he can't fully take care of himself.
I myself wouldn't really want to sell it until I've actually acheived the B.Eng. Only if there is no other way would I be happy about selling it.
He doesn't have any friends in life, besides the ones he made in high school. Me and my mom are the only people he's got. So I really suppose I should be more considerate towards him. It's just difficult for me to remain positive about my own life. If I look at the big picture, believing in myself, that I will become a well-paid architect, or at least a well-paid engineer, I would have to be quite empathetic towards his situation. On the other hand it's not fun for me living with a chronically psychotic individual. It's quite an unsettling thought knowing that he's got a number of voices in his head and I have no idea what they're saying.
Let me know what you guys think. Any advice is appreciated, and keep in mind that we're all here on sosuave to make the most out of our lives, myself included. So let's just all remember that the world is open to us.
So thanks for giving me a platform to lay out my problems again sosuave.
PS: My brother's just apologized for "yelling at me so much".
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