Can you change who you are?

[GADavid]

Many people will tell you never to change who you are. What if you realize you would be happier being different from you nature?

This is where I fall. As a negatively biased person, I am not a happy-go-lucky, let it roll off your back kind of guy. It damages my self confidence on a daily basis and I generally have no ego. Therefore I wear my heart on my sleeve, I'm hypersensitive and am resultantly defensive to an extreme. I do it to avoid getting hurt or blind sided, but it pushes people away in such a way that it is a self fulfilling prophecy. I without a doubt want to change. I'd rather be ignorant and happy than hyper aware and miserable.

A lot of men on the board, from AFC to the jaded masters of not caring, come off as defensive persons. I think the whole 'red pill' idea centers around recognizing the negative side of human nature. But is this knowledge productive? Instead of beating others at their game, or playing games at all, why not just become a happy person who can roll with the punches? Wouldn't a genuinely happy, well adjusted person be more genuinely attractive to women? Is this the key to becoming actually confident instead of faking it?

So, I ask the question: can you/have you changed who you are as a person on a basic level to become someone you aren't naturally, but who you always wanted to be?

If you have, how?
Antidepressants cover it up for some, but it doesn't resolve the underlying issues. I have started researching how not just behaviors but personality can change. Some claim it's is permanent, but Im in the group who believes the mind is plastic and in time you can have people saying, "he's changed so much" for the better.

 

[Tiguere]

Change comes from your experiences in life. What are you going to base these changes to?

Forget about Changing and focus on obtaining wisdom. Then and only then will you evolve.

 

[VladPatton]

Being self-aware is the first step. Yes you can change yourself for the better. If there is a part of you that is naturally pessimistic, self loathing, introverted, or whatever else, you should absolutely change. Just because it is your natural state doesn't mean it'll serve you well.

 

[GADavid]

Being self-aware is the first step. Yes you can change yourself for the better. If there is a part of you that is naturally pessimistic, self loathing, introverted, or whatever else, you should absolutely change. Just because it is your natural state doesn't mean it'll serve you well.

My self awareness has gotten better. It is frustrating trying to be this way by default.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Many people will tell you never to change who you are. What if you realize you would be happier being different from you nature?

I'd rather be ignorant and happy than hyper aware and miserable.

So you would rather live in a blissfully ignorant bubble than know the truth? Well.. congrats on being typical. Most people are this way. That's why most people are average and will never be more than average.

A lot of men on the board, from AFC to the jaded masters of not caring, come off as defensive persons. I think the whole 'red pill' idea centers around recognizing the negative side of human nature. But is this knowledge productive? Instead of beating others at their game, or playing games at all, why not just become a happy person who can roll with the punches? Wouldn't a genuinely happy, well adjusted person be more genuinely attractive to women? Is this the key to becoming actually confident instead of faking it?

There is no such thing as a "genuinely happy, well adjusted person". :crackup:

Its a fallacy right out of the Disney movies. All people experience moments of happiness, sadness, disappointment, etc. No one is happy 24/7. If they are.. they're f*cking retarded with an IQ below 50. Like a dog --> Wagging its tail over stupid sh!t like someone dropping a potato chip.

The best you can shoot for is indifference towards things that don't matter. Like what the majority of people think about you for instance. That makes life A LOT easier.

So, I ask the question: can you/have you changed who you are as a person on a basic level to become someone you aren't naturally, but who you always wanted to be?

If you have, how?

YES.. and you accomplish this by gaining wisdom.

If you were born in India back in the 1700's you would probably be a VERY different person than you are today. Why is that? --> Experience, knowledge and beliefs.

What you know, believe and experience shapes who you are. Learn more and change your beliefs if you want to change who you are.

If you want to be like someone else.. find out that person's way of thinking and why. You might discover you don't really want to be like them after all.

 

[JoeMarron]

Everyone has posted gold. No one is born hypersensitive, pessimistic or defensive. These are all learned traits. Replace the bad with the good and you've changed who you are. That's what this site is all about

I think the whole 'red pill' idea centers around recognizing the negative side of human nature. But is this knowledge productive? Instead of beating others at their game, or playing games at all, why not just become a happy person who can roll with the punches?

The "red pill" idea centers around seeing things as they really are as opposed to how society wants you to see things. Some aspects of reality aren't pretty but there's nothing we can do about that. Like PlayHer Man said wallowing in ignorance will only lead to a mediocre life. The informed man has more power over his life and therefore has the power to be happier than the ignorant fool could ever be. Feel free to opt out of the game if you wish. You should know however that the rules of the game apply to you regardless if you choose to play or not. You can still be happy and care free while still knowing how the game is played and acting accordingly.

 

[( . )( . )]

Good news is it's possible to change who you are. Bad news is you have to have the self awareness and breadth of mind to pull it off.

I was raised by a histrionic cluster B with the occasional bouts of drug induced schizophrenia single mother. So you can imagine I turned out the usual confidence lacking, self hating white, c-rap listening leftoid, inner city progtard beta phaggot (all that through the 90's no less, the height of fem-****ery) who thought greenpeace was a noble cause, men were rapists waiting to happen, women were sunshine and unicorns etc etc you know the drill.

I'm now the polar opposite to that disgusting little cvnt in every way imaginable. So it's definitely possible.

 

[happyDJ]

That's why most people are average and will never be more than average.

Good post, but most people are average because of the definition of average.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

to change yourself you need to learn to contradict your very beliefs.
i can only half-agree with Espi on this one:

I have changed who I am by my CHOICE in my beliefs. That simple. I use affirmations to re-enforce those beliefs.

because you can choose to reinforce FALSE beliefs. this is what most religious people do also. they usually don't care if it is really true or not, they just care about reinforcing what they believe to reinforce their egos and rather live in a blissful ignorance than search for the real truth and in the end know that they have the best knowledge available. because EVERY religion "knows" it is the one true religion, and they simply CANNOT be all true, so inevitably at least SOME of them must be false. and you cannot know which one is false if you do not care about the truth, only looking for confirmations. and BELIEF is not a matter of CHOICE when you care about the truth. you cannot choose to not believe horses exist when you see them. you can, but you are lying to yourself in that case. also, you cannot CHOOSE to believe women are angelic creatures in need of rescue when you see the facts.
no offense to religious people or modern don Quixote's, it is just how i see it, and there are exceptions also.

sooo... on topic: the ability to change is the ability to succeed in life. all animals who were not able to change and adapt, eventually went extinct with the smallest change in the environment. it is also applicable to us.

humans are in this state of advancement because our ability to change and adapt to situations and the surroundings. so you CAN change. the question is weather you WANT to change or not?

some people want EVERYTHING ELSE to change but themselves. these will fail.

when you want to change, you will have to adopt a spartan way of life, meaning you don't spoil your mind and body with treats, you don't stroke your ego, you put your body and mind in "boot camp" mode. when you FAIL, you accept it and learn from it, not cry in a corner about how unfair the world is, but get over the ego, and use failures to learn and change, and if your method for success was a failure, adopt another one, and continue onwards.

in case of getting them poontangs, just open your eyes and see that there are BILLIONS of them to practice on. you will virtually never exhaust your possibilities. but never make the mistake of putting women in the center of your life. they are a false meaning of life, and can bring only misery even if you will get to be a real women's man.
go for wisdom, money, power and the rest will come by itself.

be a better MAN.

 

[Jariel]

As somebody who is barely recognisable to people who knew me 10 years ago, I echo the advice of many others here. You have to become self aware, recognise what it is about yourself you wish to change and then focus on who you want to be.

Now for the tough part. You have to consciously enforce these behaviours over an extended period of time. It's the same as learning to drive: you start off fully aware of what pedals to push, every time you change gear, every sign on the dashboard etc, but over time this all becomes automatic.

A good start would be your body language and composure. Make an effort to change how you carry yourself and you will find that this alone inspires you to feel more confident and positive.

 

[thatfeel]

All change begins with your next thought. Remember that. Self-awareness is KEY to that so consider yourself lucky.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

YOU CAN DO IT!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i072ui6A9Co&feature=youtube_gdata_player

 

[apprenticedj]

GADavid I can say honestly that I have been unable to change who I am at the core.

My biggest downfall has always been laziness. Ever since I was a young boy I've been a procrastinator/slacker/underachiever.

I've made improvements in many aspects of life but my nature remains the same. Losing weight and getting in better shape has given me more confidence. This newfound confidence has got me out there more and I feel better in general but deep down I know I'm the same guy.

This knowledge is POSITIVE though. I now understand that I must continue to work, never resting on my laurels because LAZY GUY is still there, lurking under the surface. He would love nothing more than to get me back on that couch, joint in one hand and bag of chips in the other.

F*CK THAT GUY! :box:

So no I don't think you can change who you are but you can take steps and measures to keep it in check so you can achieve goals.

 

[RedZone]

Of course you can change...everybody does. Nobody stays the same. I bet you are different now than you were five years ago.