Can you call too rarely?

[ChesterB]

I guess the subject says it all: Is there a maximum amount of time you can let pass without calling/seeing a girl?

Concrete situtation: I got a girl's cell number after about 20 minutes convo on a uni party Wednesday last week (that's one and a half week ago now).
I called her the following Friday (I know that wasn't such a good idea, don't ask me why I did it) to set up a date for the next week. She was on her way home then (student), was in a hurry and well, didn't sound too excited to hear from me, but she was tired (parties on Wednesday and Thursday). The connection wasn't very good as well. The whole thing ended up in her asking for my number, but no date.
I tried to call her the next Tuesday, but she didn't answer the phone.
I didn't call her again yet, because I think that wouldn't make sense: She drives home each weekend.

There's another uni party next Tuesday, I'll go there, she might be there as well,

So here are the options:
1.) Call her Sunday to set up a date on Thursday - stupid, if she goes to the party as well, which I assume.
2.) Call her Wednesday for a date on Thursday.
3.) Call her Sunday in a week.
4.) Never call her, because her IL didn't seem too high

 

[squirrels]

IL didn't seem too high there...but you never know.

In response to the original question, the feel I get is that if you wait any more than two weeks between calls, you may as well not call. Meeting Wednesday and then calling the following Friday isn't bad...the IL must not have been that high.

I've called girls two weeks later and gotten enthusiastic responses...and I've called girls within 3 days and gotten "blah". Don't let her response dictate how often you call.

 

[tiburon]

Ususally

I dont know if this applies to your situation but getting numbers at parties are tricky because if both parties had some alchohol then both parties are unsure of the judgment they made......Happens to me all the time...i hook up with a girl at a party then i am always wondering if she was actually hot...imagine how woman feel...


Tiburon

 

[ChesterB]

Yes, alcohol was involved.
I don't know how much she had drunken though.
Anything special to take into account then?

 

[Abbott]

I don't know how much help this will be, but the one and only time I tried to "hook up" with a woman I only called one every two weeks. It did not result in the start of a relationship. But I was (and still am) woefully inexperienced, so that probably had more to do with my failure than my frequency of telephone calls.

Ben

 

[becker]

Too many rules here, in my opinion. I think that when you start worrying about calling a girl too soon/too little, you're overthinking it, and it becomes a problem of form over substance.

I call a girl whenever I feel like it. It's not when you call that matters more than what you say when you call . You can't call and sound all desperate to see her, as though she's the best thing that's ever walked into your life, and you're going to just drop everything just to be with her. That won't come across well. A successful phone call in my mind entails not just the invitation to go out with you, but other things as well, which build up anticipation and rapport. You're like a salesman here in some sense. If you make it sound cool enough, or are enthusiastic enough about it, you can actually make her want to go with you.

See, you can call a girl even the day after she gives you her number if you're good enough with your words. This is where the real skill comes into play in my opinion, and not deciding whether to call her on this day or that day. That is a minute and insignificant detail compared to what you say when you call her. If you're good with conversation, she's not going to deny you a date if she's interested just because you called one day earlier than you "should" have.

The problem is that guys who tend to focus too much on getting laid or sex shoot themselves in the foot because that very thing will usually prevent them from getting exactly that which they are seeking. I will call a girl up and have things to talk to her about, things that come up because I took the time to listen to things she has to say, about things she likes to do. Then I use these things and find something that I can ask her about. Only after that do I ask her out, and only if I feel that I wouldn't mind being involved in something that she likes to do.

For example, let's say that she likes to rock climb, or says that she always wanted to do that when you two first met. First thing is to make sure that you'd be interested in doing something like that, and if so, make it clear to her that day that you also always wanted to do that. Then get her number. (However, don't be a tool and just agree to do whatever she likes to do just because she's hot. That's a mistake because you'll end up with a girl who you have nothing in common with and it will be a boring time).

Find a place that has rock climbing, and then call her, telling her that you know a place that this can be done, and that you both should go. Make it a one-time proposition, and tell her that whether or not she wants to go, you're going to go, since it's something that you've wanted to do yourself for a while now. Tell her how cool it is that you met someone who wanted to do the same thing, and that nobody you know was that interested in this stuff. Don't give her time to ponder her decision forever, that's a joke, and is sort of a good gauge of IL anyways. She'll agree if she's interested in you. If she's flaky, then NEXT her.