"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Can you be playful as an opener?

ElStud

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I'm wondering, is it alright to be playful as an opener?

For instance, there's this chick I see during track and band named Amanda and I was thinking about approaching her with "Wow, you do track and band? That's either really cool or really gross. After all you know what they say about girls who do track.", a push/pull kind of opener. I also came up with this other one to use on this other chick in band, "Wow, you play flute and trombone, you're either really cool or you have way too much time on your hands".
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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The Forms

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There's not a good way for a girl to respond to those though. You can be playful, but she needs to be able to respond. With what you got right there she's going to be insulted (high school girls aren't confident or experienced enough to take odd negs like that).

But if you're in track and band with her, you see her all the time, so there's really no need for much of an opener besides "hey." By now she's probably used to seeing you alot, so it's only natural for the two of you to be talking.
 

djSlvt

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When you approach your target she should know exactly what you want. That wouldn't tell her that, in fact, you sound kinda of creepy.



Can you be playful as an opener? What would be the opposite of that?
 

Obsidian

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i would just use something along the lines of

"wow, you do track and band? that's pretty hardcore" ---> Then briefly talk about those two activities and any similarities they might have to my life ---> Then hopefully move the convo on to something more unique

i don't think you really need to involve any negging or hard-to-grasp jokes at the girls expense. unless she's a real b1tch or something.

And using this type of opener usually does get me a pretty positive response from girls.
 
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