Can you be a spiritual person and get girls?

[f283000]

I consider myself a very spiritual person. I am a big believer in positive energy and the belief that when you die you are made to feel all the pain and negative feelings you made other feels before you get to heaven or hell. This belief is shared by many religions around the world. I try to follow the "turn the other cheek" and just ignore haters and avoid them at all costs. I have a strong belief in God (although I don't go to church) and have studied prophecy for a long time.

My strong belief in being a positive and nice person and basically being a spiritual person had put off women from me. I don't go around busting people's balls, i will often do favors for people and I treat everyone as nice as possible. Instead of getting me good things in return it has done the opposite. I have been called weak, girly, people sometimes think i'm gay, people think im a pushover etc.

So being nice to the world had not gotten me much in return. Then one day I decided to make the change many in this forum have done. I decided to change from a so called "nice guy" to a "jerk" and what do I get? dates, attention from the opposite sex, more respect and popularity with peers. I went from being treating everyone nice, to busting peoples balls, making fun of people, open bragging and looking arrogant and all the opposite of how I really am.

Most guys don't go back to being a nice guy but I did. My spiritual beliefs started to come back to haunt me. Like I mentioned earlier I am big on prophecies and I know some deep stuff is coming very soon. I told myself I was risking my own spiritual evolution trying to attract women by being different than who I really am.

What really bothers me though is that in that period of trying out being a jerk I started attracting women to me where they gave me the signals and I followed up on them. I went back to being my old self and the signals and attention have dissapeared. I had more attention from women during that period than I ever did in my life and that just proved the whole bad boy thing to me. It really bothers me that I can't be a positive person and act positive and attract hot girls, I have to change my style and not be true to myself and beliefs.

Some atheists might say "positive energy, karma, heaven and hell, prophecies, all that is bull****" while dj's might say "you just gotta compromise a lot of your beliefs to get women" or "you can lie in your actions and still believe what you believe" but i rather not. I rather stay true to my beliefs and act them out. I decided not risk my spiritual evolution to pursue and attract women.

Since going back to being a "nice guy" my dates have dried up and haven't been on one in months. Before I was acting up on signals I was getting I didn't even have to do much work. Now that the signals are gone the only way i'm going on a date is either by being set up by friends or approaching. The thing is I have lost so much respect from women from my ordeal that I have lost all the will to approach (and I loved doing it in the past).

I am quitting the game and will just keep on focusing on becoming a stronger individual and staying active. So i'm in a no win situation with women except for saving my soul and having peace of mind.

*just needed to vent*

 

[DJ Miquelo]

Ok. The main problem u have is you dont appear to realise a certain something.
This certain something happens to be the fact that there is not a 'black or white' sorta all or nothing scale to being a guy. U can not be a 'nice guy' AT THE SAME TIME as not being a 'jerk'. It is entirely possible to be strong, individual and manly without being a 'jerk'.
About your spiritual side and such. Thats cool that u believe in that, infact it adds more to ur character! That is not a hinderance to ur progression of becoming a man. Your beliefs, ideals and goals etc should not be influeneced by girls or 'dates' or whatever. You should believe what u want to believe (cos if u dont you are cheating yourself).

My advice to you IS: to prevent being a 'pushover' just do what comes naturally BUT dont be overly nice were its not needed however dont be a jerk either. Just be strong and assertive. Doing this might seem like a contradiction but i guarentee its possible (its outlined in the DJ bible: The Book of Pook in particular i believe). The good thing is ur a good person from the start and all u need to do is tone that down a bit (its harder the other way when the person is a douche to start with ).
You just have to ask yourself what u wanna do: Do u want to cheat urself and ur beliefs for some girls? OR do u want to have ur beliefs AND get the girls u want?? You can do the latter, keep self-improving with your staying active and develop your mind to appreciate life for what it is.
Dont quit the game. You can master the game with just a little thought.

You just have to realise there is a PERFECT middle ground between being a nice guy and being a complete dirtbag! and once uve found that ground everything will fall into place.

 

[KontrollerX]

Bro all that deep stuff you think is coming is just you getting your mind all worked up.

Its part self delusion part adrenaline rush and when people have those two things happening at once they tend to see Jesus in a cheese sandwhich or Buddha on a burrito. :crackup:

So please begin to pay it no mind and if you really want to find out in depth where all your supposed "spiritual" feelings come from go pick up a copy of The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins where he breaks down in great detail the evolutionary origins of the supposed "spiritual feeling".

"The Demon Haunted World" by Carl Sagan may also help you get over this business.

And yes I know that your particular spiritualism seems more new agey or pagan than it being from Christianity or Islam and yes the books I mentioned still apply to Paganism, New Agey stuff or Wicca etc.

"I went from being treating everyone nice, to busting peoples balls, making fun of people, open bragging and looking arrogant and all the opposite of how I really am."

Getting right to the chase your main problem is you feel bad about the idea you are being cruel or mean to people so lets break down your list of DJ traits and I'll teach you how you can still use them, be successful and a nice guy at the same time...

-Busting people's balls & making fun of people= as long as you do it in such a way that everyone even the person being made fun of is elevated by your jokes then you are still being a nice and good person.

-Open bragging= if what you are bragging about is the truth instead of bragging think of it as confidently advertising your accomplishments. See how the words we use can change the way we think about something?

-Looking arrogant- alright stop looking arrogant...now imagine what it would look like if you just decided one day to have a confident unstoppable look about you...do that instead.

-Opposite of how you really are- the DJ way isn't about teaching you to be something you are not rather it is a blast furnace process of a guy getting rid of his negative qualities while ratcheting up his good qualities and adding new things to his personality he didn't even know before that personally jive with him. Basically in plain english its a guy overcoming his weaknesses, beginning to play more to his strengths and aquiring new knowledge to go with the strengths.

So you view yourself as a spiritual guy?

Don't those who view themselves as spiritual usually believe in spiritual growth??

Begin to view the positive success bringing changes that the DJ forum teaches you as spiritual growth and then you'll begin to view these changes as part of you rather than negatives that tear you down and give you bad karma.

 

[pua1989]

im not going to bother to read the posts above me.

what people fail to realize here is that there is a difference between being a JERK and a CONFIDENT guy. sometimes you have to be a little hot and cold with women, and show them you are a man.

for example, this one girl was cuddling all up with me on the sofa, lying across my lap, we had talked about hooking up, but she was stalling. so i stood up and tossed her right off of me, and i said "look i already told you what i wanted to happen" and she said "youre such an *******! i just wanted to cuddle some more!" later that night we hooked up.

i dont believe that gives me bad karma at all. and its things like that, that make people not call you weak or girly.

i love my life and the world, and i tend to think that if youre right, that i wouldnt have to experience that much pain in the afterlife. but that doesnt stop me from getting women

 

[pipe007]

I usually enjoy XcontrollerX's comments, But Sir... you have no right in giving advice about religion to other people, specially if its going to contradict their beliefs... Just because you read Richard Dawkins doesnt mean anything that you know the TRUTH..... to be a scientist means you have FAITH, and belief in what you are doing....to him.. that's his OWN religion...

EVOLUTION IS HIS RELIGION... his God.. I would like to see Mr. Dawkins seconds before his Deathbed, i wanna look into his eyes and see what i hear and know from every single atheist.... Nobody goes into their deathbed with some degree of fear for whats coming next... fear of the one who created your life.... so you can be where you are now...

PRODUCT OF chance???? of mere evolution??? yea throw millions of years and still try to come up with the creation of a human being as complex with its internal systems and the complex anatomy... in an organized manner... anyway.

Im not christian or belong to any religion... but i have tremendous respect for life and the life that was given to me. I dont think that god is someone who is like a person outside of us.... but whatever form he is,,, is already inside of us,,, of everything you can see and feel....

just don't judge other people's religions or give them advice of how DELUSIONAL they might be for believing in a GOD.... since the beginning of times people have believe in gods...(snakes, the sun, objects) etc... just stick with your god Dawkins, and follow his books, if that helps YOU!!!, then awesome for you my brotha...

if some people feel great about going to church, and that works for them,... thas beautiful then!!

for me ,,, i just meditate every other night,,, i go to the beach at night,,,, and meditate..... that works for me...
thanks you have a great day.

 

[zekko]

I hate the whole "nice guy" and "jerk" terminology. It's more like timid versus assertive, which is completely different. Look at it this way:
God designed women to react to certain manly traits. It's up to you to live up to that masculine standard. If God didn't want you to be that man, He wouldn't have designed women to react to them.

Remember, women are the opposite of men. You shouldn't expect that we are attracted to in a woman is what they are attracted to in a man.

Don't be a jerk, be masculine. When you were acting like a jerk what was probably getting you the interest was the aggression. Now that you're a "nice guy" they probably assume you're boring, you have to show them you're fun, and lead an interesting life.

 

[sodbuster]

Read "no more Mr nice guy". When you are being nice to try to get laid,or have people like you; you aren't being nice-you have ulterior motives. If you are nice with NO ulterior motives[including your religous beliefs}, you will be percieved differently. Being a JERK, your motives are right out in the open and people can either like you or not. Instead of the false confidence you portrayed as the jerk,work on the real confidence. Be nice if you feel like ti,but have the ba11s to say no if it isn't in your best interests.

 

[RMM]

But Sir... you have no right in giving advice about religion to other people

The irony is overwhelming. Please do NOT give anyone advice about science, your understanding of it is abysmal and your explanations appalling. There is no FAITH involved in being a scientist. Evolution is a scientific theory, not a religion. If you don't know what those words actually mean, then I suggest you look them up and learn the difference between what Science tries to accomplish and what Religion does.

 

[Sir_Turtle]

lol. There's little point to your kind of spirituality. you make all teh rules and it's real purpose is to make u feel good about how good of a person u are.

Watching your self aggrandizement was absolutely hilarious.

My advice is to punt your feel good no purpose religion, you seriously made it all up on the spot. " I think this is spiritual and OMG i fit all my made up rules so I must really be a spiritual guy!"

Give it up dude.

 

[horaholic]

The one piece of advice I can give you is BEWARE of highly spiritual chicks. They might dupe you, when you start to think that you are both on the same wavelength. From my experience however, is when any sexual girl is super spiritual, or new agey, or whatever, is because that many of them are using that spirituality, to make up for the wrongdoings they have pulled in real life. I think it was Style that talked about acting spiritual, or related subjects when gaming strippers or any other female who is in the business of selling their bodies in one form or another.

Every 'spiritual' girl I've met in the last few years was hiding behind it. IE, they were slvts or hookers, or strippers, or generally fvcked up in the head, and turned to spirituality to 'redeem' themselves.

Just be careful of girls who believe the same things as you . It's often just a front.

BTW, athiests, hardcore Scientists, and devout religious folks are all the same. They all want to push their beliefs, and are all too stupid to realize that science and God work together, and us human beings are totally incapable of understanding how it all works, since it all seems to contradictory to the close minded. Basically, you're all ignorant, cuz it all works together.

 

[pipe007]

Amen to that brother,,,, Science and religion are not mutually exclusive, they all try to explain the origin of everything.... as far as I know,,,, science hasnt come up with anything more than speculations and theories. people trying to understand where they came from. neither does religion.

science says that the universe is energy, were everything is connected, the same atoms that make up our physical ignorant self, are the same type of atoms that make up the constitution of every object, cloud, planet, galaxy and everything that makes up the universe.... only in different frequencies and energy vibrations. Again some people won't understand this, not even in this lifetime.

religion says that God is everywhere and everything, even inside of you, has ever existed and will always exist cannot be created nor destroyed.

science says that the universe is energy and matter, always was and always will be, cannot be either created nor destroyed

same thing, if you ask me... and please, dont try to start an argument with me, its not like i didn't graduate from college and currently getting a Ph.D, thank you.



some people are too ignorant to understand this

 

[Ganondorf]

God and science work hand and hand.

Gor gave you brains in order to think, and learn.

 

[pipe007]

man has always tried to explain the origin of everything and themselves... some months ago, Man was trying to build a hydron collider in order to re-create a miniature scale version of the BIG BANG... the creation trying to understand the nature of the universe, the mind of GOD. amusing.

some people are so arrogant and think they are larger than life, they think they have their lifes granted till they get to be 100 years old, eventually everyone returns to where they came from, eventually we all become energy, eventually we die.

look at Michael Jackson, he was bigger than life...... where is he now? where did he get all the amazing talent he had, his reply was always...FROM UP THERE!... he knew. it was never him.

people need to become more humble and understand that we are tiny sparks in the universe,, our planet earth is a tiny speck on the universe, our galaxy is one of billions of billions of galaxies out there, and we are trying to understand where we can even see past across the street.

peace am out

 

[RMM]

peace am out

Don't forget to clean yourself up now that you're done.

 

[Deniska]

Do you remember TV show "Lost"? Remember Mr. Eko? He was a strong person, a Man, he killed people, but he was a spiritual person as well. He knew when to be nice and kind to people, and he knew when to take charge.

A better example of a good and strong men. Franklin Delano Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy. Both of them were religious people, but people loved them for who they were, and they werent DJ's.

The only thing that separates you from you and "jerks" is your morals.

You dont have to go to clubs or bars to meet women, there are millions of beautiful women right in front of you in your daily life, women that dont go to clubs or bars, and many of them are 9 and 10.

 

[pipe007]

this guys sounds like a 5 year old... you sure you are 32?
what a waste of time.

 

[horaholic]

Franklin Delano Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy. Both of them were religious people, but people loved them for who they were, and they werent DJ's.

Kennedy was a TOTAL dj! He was the biggest pimp in presidential history. I read that at white house parties, he would approach women (moviestars, and political women. All top notch) and tell them to go to his office with them, and he'd bang them right there, then go rejoin the party, nonchalant.

Also, I believe there is a difference between spiritual, and religious, myself, but thats just me. Spirituality has nothing to do with how nice you are or not to people, although, if you are spiritual, kindness comes with the territory.

 

[RMM]

this guys sounds like a 5 year old... you sure you are 32?
what a waste of time.

You've basically been doing mental masturbation all over the thread, so it was a very fitting comment. Perhaps it was too subtle for you, my apologies if that's the case.

The comment about "Lost" seems very apropos. Reading your posts through the thread is a rollercoaster, you dart all over the place, making little sense, burning caricatures of that which you dislike or not even try to understand (namely science, society, and anyone foolish enough to get within range of your salvo apparently). You, sir, are acting like a crazy castaway who has spent too much time at sea.

At some point you must have been riding on a cruiser, floating safely and full speed ahead towards a destination you didn't know much about, but excited you. Little by little you lost some of that excitement. Why, what's this, I am barely finding anything interesting here. Captain! Change course! You started zigzagging, looking for something else. And instead of what you expected, you found a submerged mine.

Boom! The boat – your reality – shattered at some point. But what did you do afterwards? You could have jumped into a life boat, try to see from outside what state the cruiser was in and what you had hit to understand it better. But no, you held on with desperate obstinacy to your sinking boat.

Fool, save yourself! Jump to the lifeboat!

Not a chance, you refused to do so, and continued lashing at the battered hull with all your might, driving it into one mine after another. At the end of it, you found yourself floating in the middle of the ocean, alone, surrounded by broken bits and pieces of flotsam and wreckage.

So what did you do? You clung to whatever you could grab, and made a raft with the pieces you could salvage, precariously tying them together with a bit of string here or a piece of rope there, with a meagre supply of possessions you managed to salvage from the sinking of your precious cruiser.

That's not the real problem, oh no. A drowning man that clings to something that floats is only natural.

The problem is that you have spent too much time alone in your raft, clinging to the broken bits with desperation. After all that, you've started to have delusions about what it is exactly you're cruising the sea on. You no longer see a raft, you see a grandiose transatlantic cruiser, the likes of which have never been seen. Only your boat can navigate this ocean, no, this universe safely. People are too ignorant to see this! The grandeur!

You bark at people who tell you that is nothing but a raft. You snarl in contempt when you see other boats passing. You are too deluded to step onto an island you pass by, or another boat you come across, to take a look at your flotation device from the outside and see it for what it is, and lack the industriousness necessary to improve it with the tools at your disposal from the inside.

When you come across a new piece of flotsam, an object that may prove useful, you look at it with disinterest, only seeing the small part above water and making hasty (and often erroneous, see: science, society, and anyone foolish enough to get within range of your salvo) conclusions, without really trying to understand what that floating object actually is, about its use and lack of utility for you, or anyone else for the matter. That is, anyone else with an ounce of the superior knowledge you are so sure to possess.

Quite frankly, do not be surprised if others give you unkind answers when you growl at them, or thump on your raft to demonstrate the solidity of its construction over that of their boats. But at the end of the day, the only thing you truly deserve is pity. Worse than ignorant, you are willfully ignorant. And that's just too much trouble to try and cure.

 

[f283000]

Thanks for the advice guys. I have come to the conclusion that the only way to stay true to myself is to stop showing interest in women unless i get that from them first. In order to find girls that will appreciate me for who I am I will just follow up on interest and signals I get now that I am back to my normal self. This way I know i am only following up on girls that are interested for who I really am. I am no longer going to project interest to women before they do it to me, in order not to sell myself out to the game and to them.

Women are a block to a man's spiritual enlightenment. I refuse to sell my soul to get them.

 

[Bonafide]

Thanks for the advice guys. I have come to the conclusion that the only way to stay true to myself is to stop showing interest in women unless i get that from them first. In order to find girls that will appreciate me for who I am I will just follow up on interest and signals I get now that I am back to my normal self. This way I know i am only following up on girls that are interested for who I really am. I am no longer going to project interest to women before they do it to me, in order not to sell myself out to the game and to them.

Women are a block to a man's spiritual enlightenment. I refuse to sell my soul to get them.

I had the exact same situation as you man and guess what, I came to the exact same conclusion! Thats so crazy. But its been working pretty good for me. Keep it up man you made a good move!