"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Can what I write here be "used against me"?

SamePendo

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Let's say I write here, or anywhere else on the internet, something like:

"...yeah! robbing a bank would be so easy, I'd do ..."

And then later on I'm accused of stealing something. Could they use what I said in an anonymous (like on sosuave) or non-anonymous (like personal emails) against me?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Julius_Seizeher

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Yes. From a legal perspective, internet forums are as "public" as renting a billboard or taking an ad in the paper.
 

quixadox

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Of course. Why wouldn't they be able to?

It's just like you telling someone else, but even more concrete since they have it in writing and word for word.
 

SamePendo

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quixadox said:
Why wouldn't they be able to?
Because you are supposedly doing it in private? And/or in an anonymous way, and what you say is just, that, talk. It's like me saying I'm napoleon, I'm living out my fantasy but that doesn't make me eligible for being charged with mass murders.
 

L B

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Facebook and emails have gotten people fired and arrested. In terms of anonymous, you might not be as anonymous as you think.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Quiksilver

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Yep, don't say anything on message boards that you aren't able to answer for in the future.

If you got any unsavory business or actions going on, keep it face to face and avoid writing anything down.

These days, if the cops have reason to suspect you for any crime, the first thing they do is come to your house and confiscate your PC hard drives. Down here in Oz, the cops don't even need a warrant to come into your home. All they need is reasonable suspicion, which is discretionary. I don't agree with those invasive laws, but there they are.

Last year, my neighbor was growing some baby marijuana plants out on his balcony. Not for using or selling, just as kind of a joke. Anyways, a girl who didn't like him ratted him out to the cops. The only problem was she gave the wrong address... She gave MY address. It was 10:00AM the next day, I was still asleep. Next thing I know I have two big cops standing over my bed nudging me awake and a flashlight in my eyes, telling me to wake up. They took my computer and I sat in the back of a squad car for 3 hours while they were busy figuring out that I wasn't who they were looking for. After the dust settled, my neighbor got expelled from uni and put in jail for nine days (He had incriminating text messages and numbers on his cell phone).

So yeah, no written or saved incriminating evidence is safe. Imagine if I'd had files on my computer about how to grow weed and numbers of some dealers, etc.

cheers
 

synergy1

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I assume anything I post here can and will make it into the wrong hands. That said, nothing I do/say is incriminating unless they want to read about a washed up beer league hockey player who is trying to invent the next big thing in the energy world!

Doing stupid stuff than posting about it is ...well...stupid. Same w/ facebook. People snoop around on that so much , its disgusting.
 
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