Can we talk about haemorrhoids, please?

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Free_Agent

Don Juan

Oct 20, 2024

I was a heavy cyclist for about 10 years logging at times 250 miles a week on the bike. I had a NASTY bout of roids one year. I think it started by being constipated and pushing too hard and I kept it alive and aggravated by not getting off the bike ( my bike was professionally fitted and I was not putting pressure on my taint).

I'm not sure what exactly caused it and what caused it to carry on but I will say the ONLY thing that made it go away. I tried EVERYTHING under the sun and nothing worked.

Anusol Plus Cream

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.