Can we really change our INNER CORE?

[Amateur_FOR_NOW]

Can we really change our INNER CORE?

People and friends in general tell me that I'm trying to be someone else by doing this DJ-ing and that IT'S JUST NOT ME!!!

I hate when people say this because I truly believe that we can change our inner core not just by DJ-ing but by changing ourselves completely which will benefit us in all areas of life!

Does this happen to you too? IT'S LIKE PEOPLE ARE JELAOUS IN CASE WE ACTUALLY SUCCED

Opinions?

 

[ethnomethodologist]

Well, if they say anything, than they think you are trying too hard. Try and make yourself congruent with the changes, know your limits, and you can tell people when they are wrong.

People are opposed to change, that they don't believe will bring any immediate benefit, so keep pressing along on your journey. If they think you are doing something that "isn't you" than they are trying to protect you. If there is a tone of you WILL not succeed, than they are jealous.

 

[Desdinova]

People and friends in general tell me that I'm trying to be someone else by doing this DJ-ing and that IT'S JUST NOT ME!!!

That's because they're used to the person they've known for years. People in general don't like change and prefer to keep things familiar around themselves (including your personality). They don't want you to change for the better. They'd prefer you to remain the doormat that you've been all your life.

What it'll eventually come down to is leaving these people in their comfy rut while you continue to travel down the road of success. They'll shout insults and try to hold you back. That's when you cut these people out of your life.

 

[theSpeculator]

Can we really change our INNER CORE?

YES! Yes, people can change. I've did and there is no reason why you can't too. In fact, I like how I am today much more than before. And I've gotten a lot of positive reaction from everyone as a result, both guys and GIRLS!

When I was trying to change, I got a lot of put downs from a couple of friends. But when they saw how cool I've become and how everyone else thought the same, their altitude toward me suddenly became more positive. What I did was I just ignore them and just kept doing what I wanted to do. You should do the same.

Also keep this in mind. You won't drastically change overnight. It takes time and by little steps at a time. But if you keep trying, you will get there. Got it?

 

[resilient]

What it'll eventually come down to is leaving these people in their comfy rut while you continue to travel down the road of success. They'll shout insults and try to hold you back. That's when you cut these people out of your life.

Agh.. ya. When I broke up with my ex I dug deep into psychology to figure out where I went wrong. I found SoSuave and printed out every article and took maticulous notes. My brother walked in one day to my room with another close family friend snooped through all my highlighted notes from the huge stack that I had printed out and studied for a month, and they gave me a ton of flack when I came home. They didn't want me killing the inner AFC and becoming a DJ and hated that I was doing secular self-help and not religious help through church, consoling, or prayer. I told them I didn't forsake my faith, I was just getting real-world knowledge on how "the game" works, so I can get better at it and not be a pushover with women.

No one in my family seems to like the masculine change into becoming a man, because they knew me as the youngest of 3 sons as the shy, kind and people pleaser. I agree with everyone on the board, if these people don't support and promote your growth, then ditch them and leave them in the gray because you'll thrive and come to accept you once you've grown out of the old shell that was your former self and into a mature masculine independent being.

I think really it comes down to them coming to face the reality of losing the ability to protect you from others or for them to be your first source when you run into help and need their empathy. Internally though, they probably do love you and are learning to accept that you don't need them to grow anymore, but that a new mutual respect is being cultivated in your relationship to them. A higher level of respect.

I also get the comment like "you're just too insecure", "you need to be yourself" "you don't know who you are" But, I ignore it all since it's better to go through self-improvement than to sit back and get the results you always got and repeating the same mistakes with career choices and women.

I laugh now when I think my ex thought she was too superior for me and chose the high road of singlehood and f*buddiship in November.. because she'll be unhappy with some abusive out of control wachos when I'll be single and maintaining my PRIZEability of not needing a woman to have a successful and happy life well into my 30s.

 

[Amateur_FOR_NOW]

Thanks guys, at least someone is willing to support!

AS YOU THINK=YOU SHALL BE!!!

 

[Skydiver43127]

Hmm,
No, I don't think you can change your "inner core" as you call it. But that really does't matter, because the things you need to change are not really there.

Being open and social, being ****y, being laid-back... all the stuff connected with social interactions, even to the deepest possible levels, are a matter of personal choise. The core does not change. It choses.

People are attached to this chosen personality. You are attached to this chosen personality. You should respect that and not push the change too fast, or one day you'll find yourself looking at the mirror and wondering "Who is this guy? I don't know him. My friends don't know him. Girls seem to like him, but do I?". But in the same time you should not get confused - you are you, the person you see in the mirror is not you. (this is very good to know if you don't actually like him, by the way )

 

[cmk85]

You don't change the way you are. You change the way you react to surtain situations. Just see it as growing up the smart way

 

[Desdinova]

You don't change the way you are. You change the way you react to surtain situations.

That is part of your "inner core".

People become who they are by being molded by their parents, their friends, and society. A person will end up adopting all these other opinions, morals, and behavior patterns without even knowing it.

Once you become aware of what you've adopted as part of your personality and where you got it from, you can change it. It takes a LOT of work, but it can be done.

I was raised in a very religious home and adopted many of the morals that I was told to have. Today, I am no longer religious and I disagree with almost everything I was taught. I have replaced all the morals and behavior that I previously embraced. I replaced it all with something else.

A person's "inner core" is very malluable. Children who are sexually abused are very good examples of this. Their behavior can be normal up until the point of abuse begins. The child's personality will then change. They'll become violently angry, develope extremely low self-esteem, and many other things.

If friends, family, and society can change a person, why couldn't a person change themselves?

 

[cmk85]

That is part of your "inner core".

People become who they are by being molded by their parents, their friends, and society. A person will end up adopting all these other opinions, morals, and behavior patterns without even knowing it.

Once you become aware of what you've adopted as part of your personality and where you got it from, you can change it. It takes a LOT of work, but it can be done.

I was raised in a very religious home and adopted many of the morals that I was told to have. Today, I am no longer religious and I disagree with almost everything I was taught. I have replaced all the morals and behavior that I previously embraced. I replaced it all with something else.

A person's "inner core" is very malluable. Children who are sexually abused are very good examples of this. Their behavior can be normal up until the point of abuse begins. The child's personality will then change. They'll become violently angry, develope extremely low self-esteem, and many other things.

If friends, family, and society can change a person, why couldn't a person change themselves?

Yep I agree with what you say here. But I think you can never erase your complete way of thinking. For example you say that you've been raised in a very religious home. And that you are no longer religious.
If think you already asked difficult questions about your religion on an early age. Questions your parents couldn’t answer. Am I right?

For example my brother and I have to same opinions and morals.
But have competly different behavior patterns.

So bottom line i think you can change opinions and morals.
Your behavior is something you can fin tune/ajust and REPAIR.

 

[Desdinova]

If think you already asked difficult questions about your religion on an early age. Questions your parents couldn’t answer. Am I right?

Believe it or not, there was an answer for everything. Sometimes I'd get another question in response to make me feel like 5hit.

When I was younger, I was incredibly shy and quiet. Today, I am loud and outspoken. In fact, a couple years ago I ran into a girl I went to school with. She was in disbelief at my personality and told me that I was a completely different person now than I was in school.

Changing the "inner core" will lead to changing your behavior.