Yo Friv,
I think you might be underestimating the number of guys on this site that have been in exactly the same situation as you before. I think you are also underestimating the number of guys here who would likely KILL for a loving, caring, sharing, equality-based relationship with a beautiful woman who they can express their emotions to without any fear of her losing interest or breaking their hearts. We all want a mature, stable, sensible woman who will be there for us and won't lose attraction for us if we want some emotional intimacy.
Almost every guy here used to be (or still is) a nice guy. I'm sure we'd all be very happy if this site was never needed. But it is, because guys who act like you do (like most of us have) get their hearts torn out of their chests by the girls they love.
Personally, I thought I had exactly what you think you have for 3 years of my life. She cheated on me with a complete and total loser who had absolutely nothing going for him except that he treated her like a piece of ass. And I mean
nothing. He was 21, living with his parents, ugly, unemployed, really stupid (failed his yr 10), lanky, and when he wasn't smoking dope (and sometimes when he was), he was playing computer games. On the other hand, I was 2 years into a Psychology degree with a Distinction average, had a part-time job, hadn't lived at home for 4 years, had never done any drugs,
lived with my girlfriend, her parents loved me, my family loved her, I'm
not half-bad looking, was very romantic, often surprised her with little things she loved, gave her the best sex of her life (which is something she has told me 2 years after we broke up and there was no chance we'd ever get back together because she has children to another guy), and basically treated her like my princess. The problem was that last one. I was way too nice to her. I was like a girlfriend who had a d!ck. Every time she had some bullsh!t emotional tantrum, I'd sit down with her and talk her through it. Every time she got upset with me, I'd apologise. I loved doing nice things for her, and I often went out of my way to do them. I would constantly give her compliments and tell her how I felt about her. I would ask her what she wanted to do instead of deciding what we were going to do, because I didn't want to control her. I was sensitive, caring, kind, considerate, compassionate, and nice. I thought of myself as a "good" guy.
And then she cheated on me, and I had no idea what the hell I did. At first, I couldn't see anything that I did wrong, so I blamed her exclusively. I started resenting ALL women a lot, because I could see her in every girl I met. It was a long time before I stopped hating women so much and started trying to figure them out, and that's when I started realising all the mistakes I'd made.
Dude, you are making mistakes. I know you can't see them, but neither could I. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything like this online community to prepare me for what was inevitable. You do. Don't fight against it blindly hoping that it is all wrong and you are right. You aren't. You WILL crash and burn BAD if you keep up your mistakes. Your girl is NOT unique. YOU are not unique. Your relationship is not a special case. You are making mistakes, and you will suffer incredible pain when your heart is destroyed.
At least try to assimilate some of the knowledge that this forum community provides. There is a huge amount of collective wisdom here. Much more than you could ever hope to gain alone. What "being a DJ" represents is years of experience of thousands of men dating several thousand women, and distilling all that experience into what works best for you and your girls, to maximise success and pleasure, and minimise failure and pain.
At the very least, try not to be so naive. Try to be open-minded that maybe what you are doing will harm your relationship in the long-run.
