"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Can u Decipher this Bodylanguage

LeChanteur

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Over the past few years I have become pretty adept at reading body language but I have recently observed a girl doing some that I'm not quite sure of as it seems contradictory.

Basically I have chatted to her a few times in a bar/restaurant and each time we have been sitting in these chairs that have arm rests. Now we're often involved in convos with others but when Italk to her solo she adjusts her body position so she is facing towards me (we usually sit beside each other) From then on whenever we chat she seems to be constantly rearranging her position to face more towards me, now this means she has to sit in the chair in very unusual ways like sitting on her leg, huggin her knee etc It's confusing in that it seems both open and closed at the same time, perhaps it could be a sorta 'shield' but then this girl isn't shy or nervous neough to need one.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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balengar

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i know what kind of awkward seating position you are talking about.

I definitely feel its a positive one, or at least its not negative.

Sitting in a chair as you describe is not exactly comfortable....and if she is willing to be a bit uncomfortable, just so she can face you while having a convo, then shes definitely interested in WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY (not NECESSARILY you).....but also you prolly.

Go for it.
 

dollashort

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to me it seems like this chick is using body language that one would use when they're really into the conversation and really trying to show interest, just a little bit more obvious than usual.
 

DreamerZZ35

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Originally posted by LeChanteur
Over the past few years I have become pretty adept at reading body language but I have recently observed a girl doing some that I'm not quite sure of as it seems contradictory.

Basically I have chatted to her a few times in a bar/restaurant and each time we have been sitting in these chairs that have arm rests. Now we're often involved in convos with others but when Italk to her solo she adjusts her body position so she is facing towards me (we usually sit beside each other) From then on whenever we chat she seems to be constantly rearranging her position to face more towards me, now this means she has to sit in the chair in very unusual ways like sitting on her leg, huggin her knee etc It's confusing in that it seems both open and closed at the same time, perhaps it could be a sorta 'shield' but then this girl isn't shy or nervous neough to need one.

Maybe she is, maybe she isnt. You cant possibly know until/unless you take her on some sort of DATE. Coffee whatever..... get her alone with you in a situation where you are BOTH aware you are examining possibilities (which is what any date is really about) If she is turning towards you and is open they yes...

For goodness sake... ask her out. Go out with her and if it goes well Kiss her.... that will tell you ALL you need to know about if she sees you in a romantic light.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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RabidDog

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Originally posted by dollashort
to me it seems like this chick is using body language that one would use when they're really into the conversation and really trying to show interest, just a little bit more obvious than usual.
 

Walden

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Harden the ƒuck up and ask her out already.
 

Skel

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you have to look for other signs of body language to "read body language"

Does she fold her arms, cross her legs, cover her mouth when she talks, scratch her ear, make eye contact, look away, twiddle her fingers, etc etc etc etc

Just because she shifts her body towards you doesent mean too much.
 

So pimp its scary

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As has been said before, reading body language is essentially useless in determining interest.

It's more of a tool to understand peoples reactions to you and their environment.

IE : Ask her to coffee, and she closes her posture but says yes... she will ditch.

Moral : if you want to find out if shes interested, express your interst and watch her reaction.

PS. I like that name, LeChanteur. Did you mean the singer? Or one of its more subtle definitions?
 

LeChanteur

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Thanks for all that it's what I figured. I'm not that interested in her but was just wondering what the take was on that kind of body lagnuage as it seems both closed (knees in front of you and hugging them) and open (making great effort to turn to talk)

The arms of the chairs are deisgned so you'd have to pull your knees up to your chest if you wanted to sit in them and face the person next to you. The arm rests are sorta shaped like a 'C'

Oh and the name does mean the singer.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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ToP DoN

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smack the girl

aroudn ..stop trying to read and just ask the biatch if she wants to fock
 
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