Can this be changed at all?

[Bigsnake]

There is way too much about this whole situation that I don't want to type out and most of it doesn't really include me anyway. If you need me to clarify something though, then just ask but you should have enough info for what I'm asking. I'll give a brief overview to help you understand the situation though.

There was a girl I met awhile ago but was able to quickly tell that she wasn't interested in me at that time (talked about other guys while I was around, didn't want to do stuff alone with me, didn't have any of the body language signs, etc.). I decided to still talk to her for awhile but she never really showed me any respect so I just stopped talking to her. About 2 months after I stopped talking to her a friend told me she wanted to know if I was mad at her. I still didn't go call her.

It was a little over 3 months until she came up to me again. We started talking and I had that "nothing to lose" mentality at that time so I just told her what I felt about her... not like, "I want to be with you" but the "you never showed me any respect, etc." She seemed to take it well, we talked about it, and since then we've been talking on and off. It's been about a week. The other night we talked for awhile about what's going on in her life and some of the problems she's been having. She also told me that she's not looking for a boyfriend and that she doesn't know anyone right now that she likes and if a guy does come along that she likes, then she'll go up to them and let them know...

I think she wants to be friends with me now but hasn't said it. Is there anything I can do to get her to change her mind at all? I really have no expecations but think I might as well give it a shot. Nothing to lose you know... I'd like to say she's one of two girls I know that I'd actually like to get into a LTR with...

 

[golf299]

move on... that's all there is to this one. she will continue to use you for emotional support. please don't waste your time. please, for youself and everyone here, forget about her.

 

[Trogdawg]

I have to agree, sorry dude. I know it sucks, I've been there. Sometimes you just want to slap the hell out of them so maybe they would realize how lucky they'd be with you. Not literally slap them, but you know what I mean.

 

[b's nuts]

she is already using you for her emotional tampon, next.

 

[Rondavu]

She wants to be friends, you want an LTR. What does it spell?... N-E-X-T

 

[Bigsnake]

That's kind of what I expect yall to say... yep, it sucks...

Now, here's a question... Is there any way to prevent yourself from becoming an emotional tampon? The problems I mentioned that we talked about were ones that I was part of.

Does every guy go through something like this? She's exactly what I'm looking for other than the part that she's not into me...

 

[Porky]

Establish yourself as a man from the get-go. There are also some things you can say to a woman to stop her from talking about her feelings.

ex. If she's talking about problems with her boyfriend, say something like "if I were your boyfriend I wouldn't want you talking about me to guys you've just met."

 

[Bigsnake]

Originally posted by Porky
Establish yourself as a man from the get-go. There are also some things you can say to a woman to stop her from talking about her feelings.

ex. If she's talking about problems with her boyfriend, say something like "if I were your boyfriend I wouldn't want you talking about me to guys you've just met."

I've already heard about not letting them talk about past guys and I've been good about that with all the women I'm interested in (I say "interested in" because there's one chick that I just let sit there on the phone talking about a past relationship because I had no interest in her... Heck, I was sitting there watching a moving not even paying attention to her...)

Does this all just apply to past relationships? What about other problems or things she has going on that doesn't involve boyfriends, ex, or guys in general? Let her talk about them or stop them?

 

[Jon E]

I think the idea of "moving on" makes it sound like there is nothing that you can ever do about it and you just have to accept it.

You acted like a friend and she treated you like one. Instead of being her buddy or trying to be her friend, start treating her like she's your bratty little sister. (because shes not shes not good enough for you anyway.) Then she will start to see you as "mate" material instead of just a friend. Women dont want an equal, they like to have a man that they have to "look up" to or "respect " and a friend is just an equal.

 

[Bigsnake]

Originally posted by Jon E
I think the idea of "moving on" makes it sound like there is nothing that you can ever do about it and you just have to accept it.

You acted like a friend and she treated you like one. Instead of being her buddy or trying to be her friend, start treating her like she's your bratty little sister. (because shes not shes not good enough for you anyway.) Then she will start to see you as "mate" material instead of just a friend. Women dont want an equal, they like to have a man that they have to "look up" to or "respect " and a friend is just an equal.

Can you give me some tips for doing that? I'm not sure how to do that at all... I mean, you say bratty little sister but I never had a sister... I have no clue how you treat one.

I just suddenly broke off all comunication with her for 3 months until she came up to me last week...

 

[Jon E]

First, I highly reccomend that you get David DeAngelos book "Double your Dating" it helped me out tremendously.

Treating her like your "bratty little sister" is not the only way to establish your dominance over her but it is one of the easiest and it sends severial very important messages all at the same time.

1.) It shows your not intimidated by her.

2.) Your confidant in yourself.

3.) She has no power or authority over you.

4.) She cant control you.

5.) Your really not all that attracted to her etc etc.

I could go on and on.

Tease her, make fun of her (the way she walks, talks, laughs etc) bust her balls but do it in a fun friendly way and dont ever show her that your attracted to her. This may not come natural at first but after about the second or third time that you bust on her you will see a totally different side of her and for once you will be the in controll of the relationship instead of her.