Can these methods work for a 50yo guy?

[Simple Truth]

My friends have been trying to help me of late, but I'm not having success.
I have been in 2 relationships in my life, one at 17 with a 20 yo. Lots of sex and fun.
When we broke up, gained a lot of weight. Didn't meet another woman until I was 29, and foolishly married this one. To make matters worse, I stayed with her 13 years, despite all the signs to kick her to the curb. In the marriage we had sex less than 20 times total. Now, 8 years later and I'm still single.
I enjoyed sex when I was younger, but I feel women have zero interest in me.
I would like to have a woman in my life, especially for sex, but I feel I've missed my opportunities.

Thanks

 

[ubercat]

Yes I m starting out again and i m 49 so maybe look at some of my posts where the guys have helped me out. I'm not saying that my threads are so great there is infinitely smarter guys here than me. But I am good at research so the answer to any question I've asked probably isn't easy to find.

Maybe also start out with online dating. There's plenty of posts here on how rubbish it is. And there is no doubt that the girls on the sites get a lot of attention and that makes them flakey.

But I think that it is great practice to build up your basic skills because it isn't realtime to start with. And you can model being outcome independent which in my humble opinion the heart of the DJ mindset. And it's very hard to do so you will need plenty of practice.

Hope this helps.

 

[Tictac]

"Grey game" is different from game in your 20s. But not that different. I am in my 60s. I was a 'natural' until I married at 33 and did the whole wife-kids-family thing which lasted 24 years. I've been single for seven years now. I'm a single Dad, run a company and am busy with life. So finding time for women isn't easy. Finding women (I live in NYC and NJ) isn't hard at all.

I have no problems finding women to go out with, have fun with and have all the sex I want with amazing women (not girls, not whack jobs or fuglies). So if you "feel women have no interest in you" it's not them, it's you.

Are you fit, do you have friends, hobbies, interests and a lifestyle that you like and that women might find interesting? Or do you expect women to just come your way for no reason? They are not going to jump you. You have to get into the game - play, win, lose and keep playing.

Men of 'a certain age' need to game differently. For example, while OLD is silly for younger men, it's has been helpful to me. You likely have a lot going on in your life. Find a woman, better yet several women that you'd like to involve in what you're doing maybe as tagalongs, maybe for sex, maybe even to see more steadily.

 

[dustmuffin]

I am 52 the site has helped me. The members are supportive. Welcome to the community

 

[Simple Truth]

Thanks for the responses. I really appreciate it.
As a guy, I've never had game. Starting now, I'm clearly behind in terms of knowing what to do and say.
I am overweight, presently 315, and working positively to reach a goal of 205. I'm 5'9" with my highest weight being 475.
That said, what are the first steps to learn in my quest to be a DJ.
I've seen mention of "grey game" and O L D, but I haven't found anything on these yet.
I feel like a teen sneaking my first look at Playboy. Hoping this will lead to good things sooner than later.
Thank you all for the guidance. I'm certain I will be coming back to the well, over and over, as my knowledge and skill improve.

 

[dillj]

at that height, you should weigh 160 lbs, man. its no wonder there's no women in your life. get a scale and see to it that you lose 2 lbs per week, every week for a week, just to save your life. Watch naked and afraid. those guys lose a lb a DAY. So 1/3rd lb a day can be done, if you really want to do it.

 

[dillj]

with that much empty skill flapping on you, you'll need yet another year for your body to reabsorb it, so you're going to look like hell for a year, or have to spend 10's of 1000's of $ having surgeries to remove it. htf did you ever hate yourself that much?

 

[dustmuffin]

with that much empty skill flapping on you, you'll need yet another year for your body to reabsorb it, so you're going to look like hell for a year, or have to spend 10's of 1000's of $ having surgeries to remove it. htf did you ever hate yourself that much?

No shaming of this man please. He needs support. He has come here to find help. He knows that he is overweight. He will improve just like all of us.

 

[Simple Truth]

at that height, you should weigh 160 lbs, man. its no wonder there's no women in your life. get a scale and see to it that you lose 2 lbs per week, every week for a week, just to save your life. Watch naked and afraid. those guys lose a lb a DAY. So 1/3rd lb a day can be done, if you really want to do it.

Granted, you are correct. However, due to my huge size, my bone and muscle density is higher. At 205, my estimated BF would be 10-11%. Surgery is highly likely for the excess skin, as well as a six-month recovery.
This gives me lots of time to learn and practice.
As for the self-hate, I'd rather not go into that here. I've dealt with it, so that is in the past.

Thanks

 

[RangerMIke]

At 49 I can tell you that my dating life has NEVER been better. The only real difference for me is that I have to work MUCH harder to stay in shape. I really have to watch what I eat and get enough sleep, I have to spend more time working out, also what I can do is MUCH different.

Everything you learn here works regardless of your age. All women, regardless of their ages all respond to the same male strength qualities. Women's agenda changes as they get older, but they are all pretty much attracted to the same things. I date women of all ages. This week I have a dinner date Wednesday with a 24 year old yoga instructor, Thursday I'm going to a party with a 30 year old blond wealth manager, and Friday a happy hour date with a 30 year old lawyer I met a couple of weeks ago.

Follow the principles you can learn here, seriously work on yourself and improve and you'll get good results.

 

[dustmuffin]

At 49 I can tell you that my dating life has NEVER been better. The only real difference for me is that I have to work MUCH harder to stay in shape. I really have to watch what I eat and get enough sleep, I have to spend more time working out, also what I can do is MUCH different.

Everything you learn here works regardless of your age. All women, regardless of their ages all respond to the same male strength qualities. Women's agenda changes as they get older, but they are all pretty much attracted to the same things. I date women of all ages. This week I have a dinner date Wednesday with a 24 year old yoga instructor, Thursday I'm going to a party with a 30 year old blond wealth manager, and Friday a happy hour date with a 30 year old lawyer I met a couple of weeks ago.

Follow the principles you can learn here, seriously work on yourself and improve and you'll get good results.

That is inspiration for me to keep working. I want dates with younger women. I am 52 and have a date with a 41,49 and 45 yo this week. I want to break the 30s

 

[RangerMIke]

Let me give you some advice. First if you want to date younger women, as long as you show up like a man and are in decent shape you will do fine because most men in the 20s and 30s are completely fvcking clueless. She will automatically assume you know what you are doing unless you show her different.

You have to actually BE successful at what you do. Women will judge men in the 20s and 30s on potential.... when you are in your 40s and 50s, you are judged on WHAT YOU ARE. So all the PUA bullsh!t will not work for you... You don't have to be rich but you have to good at whatever your purpose is.

Not all women are attracted to older men, but MANY are. If you find one that is turned off by an older guy, just leave her alone, don't try and make anything happen with a woman who is clearly not into you.... this is true no matter what, but it does stink when you from a woman "Gee... I wish you were x-years younger." You might be temped to try... but don't waste your time, if she says ANYTHING negative about your age, then you have to be prepared to let her go. Why? Because with women, age is a taboo subject... they will NEVER bring it up unless it is an issue for them.

DO NOT try to dress and act like a younger man, try this and you will look like a pathetic creep. Women who are attracted to older guys are not going to be interested in a older version of a young guy. Show up looking the best you can, but you MUST dress and act your age.

Finally be honest, if she asks your age, don't flinch... tell her. Now this is important, you MUST BELIEVE THAT THE AGE DIFFERENCE DOES NOT MATTER. You can not have any doubts... because if you think there is any problem or any chance the age difference could be a problem, she will pick up on this and be turned off. You can not hide sh!t from women, if you have doubts or insecurities woman will pick up on this.

 

[Simple Truth]

Thanks for all the helpful advice. Seems the best thing is to get my weight down before I start. I'll check back once the weight is gone.

 

[dustmuffin]

Thanks for all the helpful advice. Seems the best thing is to get my weight down before I start. I'll check back once the weight is gone.

You can do a lot of reading too. The rational male and the DJ bible are good sources. Get your mindset going in the right direction while you get fit.

 

[dillj]

yes, the weight needs to be in your past, and it would be best if she KNOWS how much you suffered to get rid of it. Lots of respect from her for your discipline,, or next her.