can the attraction return?

[TheCaptain21]

a girl once told me these words "rob once a girl is attracted to you, shes always attracted to you because theres that thing about you that she was attracted to and once u expose it again the attraction will return" i dont know how true this is but if it is i'm in a bind right now.......i met a girl and she was chasing me around calling me for a couple days then i made some mistakes and ****ed up.......basically a few miscommunications and some marijuana killed my game.......to maek a long story short....i met this girl.....she wanted me for a few days......at the end of the weekend i tried to make plans a few miscommunications ****ed that up, then the next time i got to hang out with her we got high and i lost all my game altogether and since she was a first timer she didnt' get high so i was in bad form........the following night we chilled and frankly i'm not gonna lie to myself.....i really didn't feel the vibes anymore.....i think i'm probably in the "friend" zone now and maybe this is wishful thinking but if anyone can tell me how to get outta this bind i'd really appreciate it haha.......i mean i came off really friggin strong and my game was locked hard then i dont know hwat happened i turned into an AFC again once things got complicated! if you want full details just respond and i'll put them up........

 

[rgeere]

I'd tell you if I could follow whatever it is you just tried to write ... You should probably come back and rewrite this when you are sober or something.

 

[TheCaptain21]

ok i'm not drunk im just bad at writing haha.....anywys i met this girl last week i'm gonna skip all the bullshti but basically she was chasing me.......i met her thursday we met up at a bar friday and talked a lot, saturday she called me even though i exchanged numbers with her friend.......i dind't go out saturday, sunday she wanted to smoke bud i was texting back and forth while i was trying to get some and basically i didn't get a response to one of them so i assumed i was being too pushy so i got the **** then called her and told her i was going to bed to call me monday to hang out (vday). then the next morning i recieve two text messages one of htem said "my friend doesn't wanna smoke but i still want 2" which basically said she wanted to come up alone!!! anyways monday rolls around No phone call, i called her left a simple message "yo its rob hit me back' no return call......so i figured she might have assumed i asked her to smoke up on vday which would be extreme trash......anyways i sent her a text saying "u have a good nite and happy vday" she replied "u2" anyways tuesday she ended up in my room with her friend we blazed and i got retarded and lost all my game and just wnated to chill.......at one point she told her freind to go back to her room and burn some cds while she plays video games with me........but for some reason it didnt' work out that way......anyways i hung out iwth her the following day and we chilled in her friends' dorm room and just talked, played sharades and that was it, thing is i didn't feel the vibes anymore so i think i ****ed this one up......so what do you recommend

 

[TheCaptain21]

any suggestions.....anyone/

 

[MacDiddy]

First of all, you heard this from a chick!!!!

Her knowledge has not been field tested and unless she's a lesbian I doubt it would be applicable.

Once a girl is attracted to you, she can be de-attracted to you depending on her interest levels (IL).. why do you think there are so many breakups and divorces in the western world...

Another example why you don't listen to women for seduction advice.. (nine times out of ten, a chick well tell you to just be yourself.... thats her seduction advice.. pathetic isn't it!!!)

 

[n00bPimp]

When i feel I'm falling into the friends zone I try to avoid her for 2-3 days at least. I do this for 2 reasons:
1 it helps you clear your head and you can strategize how to get out of the wuss stage ur falling into.
2 it gives her the gift of missing you.
also you have less chances of ****ing up more and falling in deeper during this time dont u think?

 

[TheCaptain21]

Originally posted by n00bPimp
When i feel I'm falling into the friends zone I try to avoid her for 2-3 days at least. I do this for 2 reasons:
1 it helps you clear your head and you can strategize how to get out of the wuss stage ur falling into.
2 it gives her the gift of missing you.
also you have less chances of ****ing up more and falling in deeper during this time dont u think?

amen brother, i was thinkin the same thing, shes gonna be gone for the weekend so its inevitable that i don't see her, so i'm gonna give it a good week, she goes to the same bar every week so i'll know where to find her without even having to call her

 

[dearsappho]

Once a girl has attraction for you its there for good (unless you wrong her in a BIG way)...she will never tell you this of course and will attempt to make you think the polaric opposite.

 

[Mike_The_Man]

Words well spoken dearsappho!

 

[n00bPimp]

Hate to disagree with you dearsappho, attraction can be gone as fast as it came. If you act like a wuss attraction will go down and the more you show wuss behavior, the more it will go down until it disappears.

 

[JazzPimpNYC]

I agree with Sappho. I read in Men's Health that women hold on to their first impressions for years.

 

[DrSoSuave]

Men also hold on to first impressions of a woman too for a long time.

 

[n00bPimp]

First impressions is a whole other topic. People can have good a first impression of someone but it has no place when it comes to trying to return attraction.

 

[Albion4]

Yeah, simple solution, stop wasting your time on her and move on.

Attraction is a complex game, and there are a lot of cues that are just not present in the first few meetings. Let's say for instance that you meet this beautiful girl that you are completely attracted to. A week later you come to find that she likes to sexually abuse small boys. Would you still be attracted to her? I know this example is extreme but it shows the point. Maybe she saw something about you that she didn't see before which made her lose her attraction to you. It's not her fault, it's not your fault, it just wasn't meant to be.

-Al

 

[TheCaptain21]

well either way i haven't shown any wuss behavior whatsoever, but i do suspect that i upset her when i blew her off sunday night......and its starting to come clear to me that the reason that we aren't communicating as well as the first two meetings is because i think there is a sense of akwardness on her part. i was on myspace.com today checkin her profile and i noticed that i wasn't on her freinds list anymore, her last login being monday, the day after i blew her off........so i mean now this really clears things up for me but i dont wanna bring anything up because doesn't that make me look like i'm guilty......regardless i am going to take the advice and give a week away from her so i can be clear minded when i get my game together.......but now with these new facts i realize that i upset her so now i gotta figure out a way to get back into that comfort zone i was in because now its completely gone......i realized she was having trouble holding eye contact with me last night as well as talking......the first 3 nights we hung out/talked she couldn't keep her mouth shut now theres all this akward silence........so what do you guys think (oh and as for moving on i plan to put in that work this weekend so dont' be too quick to think i'm an AFC focusing on one)

 

[MacDiddy]

Yeah, simple solution, stop wasting your time on her and move on.

why?? all doesn't seem to be lost... its not your classical case of GF moving on to other guy... more your pre-relationship power play....

Let's say for instance that you meet this beautiful girl that you are completely attracted to. A week later you come to find that she likes to sexually abuse small boys. Would you still be attracted to her? I know this example is extreme but it shows the point.

how do you extrapolate this to his cause?? I'd put my hand up for a bit of sexual abuse from this chick!!! I'll even dress the part if she so desires....