"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Can someone smack some sense into me?

Boner da Stoner

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Originally posted by Dayspring
GuitarPlayer: You're right. Looks like I'll have to COMPLETELY walk awa from her. I guess I didn't want to completely give up on her since I don't mind being just friends, provided she acts like a normal friend and not someone who's only looking for a safety-line. I wonder what made her change? :(
Aright, you gotta stop saying you just want to be friends...

From what your saying I can pick up on a bit of neediness and supplication on your part. If my friend said he had something to do, or bailed last minute, I ALWAYS have something to do afterwards, even if it is just going home after and sleeping.

It sounds as thopugh when she changes her mind about the plans, you get uptight inside about it, that is one-itis. It doesn't matter if you want to to be friends or lovers, one-itis is indiscriminate of your goals... it IS having your thoughts based on one person... whether long term or short, it affects you severely and makes you think too much on the subject about things you would normally shrug off and not give two ****s about.

You can stay her friend, just her friend, stop obeying her commands... If you go on a DATE than you are going on a DATE... your allowed to tell her off, if it was PLANNED beforehand and you. The thing is, FRIENDS DON'T DATE! They hang out, go to parties, drink together, and have fun, wrestle, and all above and inbetween. There is no DATES with friends, they're just missing out on the fun otherwise...

If you have evr had a friend, and you were having a party... say you invited him, but he decided to stay home and do his homework because he was slacking off too much in highschool(or what have you). If the party was BUMPIN' and everybody had a blast, next day at school everybody was talking about the awesome party last night, and they all can't wait to do it again... What will your friend think about his slacking off, and what he's going to do next time for your party?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Dayspring

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Originally posted by Boner da Stoner
Aright, you gotta stop saying you just want to be friends...

From what your saying I can pick up on a bit of neediness and supplication on your part. If my friend said he had something to do, or bailed last minute, I ALWAYS have something to do afterwards, even if it is just going home after and sleeping.

It sounds as thopugh when she changes her mind about the plans, you get uptight inside about it, that is one-itis. It doesn't matter if you want to to be friends or lovers, one-itis is indiscriminate of your goals... it IS having your thoughts based on one person... whether long term or short, it affects you severely and makes you think too much on the subject about things you would normally shrug off and not give two ****s about.

You can stay her friend, just her friend, stop obeying her commands... If you go on a DATE than you are going on a DATE... your allowed to tell her off, if it was PLANNED beforehand and you. The thing is, FRIENDS DON'T DATE! They hang out, go to parties, drink together, and have fun, wrestle, and all above and inbetween. There is no DATES with friends, they're just missing out on the fun otherwise...

If you have evr had a friend, and you were having a party... say you invited him, but he decided to stay home and do his homework because he was slacking off too much in highschool(or what have you). If the party was BUMPIN' and everybody had a blast, next day at school everybody was talking about the awesome party last night, and they all can't wait to do it again... What will your friend think about his slacking off, and what he's going to do next time for your party?
AWESOME post! You are SO right! I was misunderstanding what one-itis was; I thought it meant you only wanted to date that one person or nobody else. Thank you so much for the clearing up, since what you explained was EXACTLY what the situation was!

Thanks guys!:up:
 

The Nice Guy is Gone

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Originally posted by Dayspring
Thanks. I figured he was using lingo I wasn't familiar with and just got upset that I didn't know it.

As for your advice, you're probably right. I was just wondering if anybody had any advice to give that helps a guy get over someone.
This was the last reply I read, but here's the deal: Do things that will take your mind off of her. Go out, have fun. Stuff that will pass the time. If you meet a girl that happens to like video games, take her to an arcade. If you meet someone who likes to watch sports, take her to a football or baseball game. Have friends over and watch movies, or play games. Basically, you need to stay busy, busy enough so that you are tired when you get ready to get some sleep, so that you won't think about this girl anymore, until it becomes natural to not think of what might have been. I used to think all the time of what might have been, but now I say screw that. Screw 'what was' and deal with 'what is' What is, is that you need to get over this girl, and I hope I've given you a couple of ideas to help. Good luck.
 

Wyldfire

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You're her "surrogate boyfriend"...meaning that you fill a void in her life when she is not involved with another man.

Go date other women.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Marlimus

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You're her "surrogate boyfriend"...meaning that you fill a void in her life when she is not involved with another man.
That's it. Short, sweet, and straight to the point. In that concise reply, Wyldfire has told you
1) What you are to her
2) What you need to do.
 

Boner da Stoner

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Originally posted by Wyldfire
You're her "surrogate boyfriend"...meaning that you fill a void in her life when she is not involved with another man.

Go date other women.
Originally posted by Dayspring
It's more like ONE ANDAHA FIS. I still date and get laid and stuff, but I can't seem to move on emotionally
 

RaWBLooD

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if you cant smack sense into yourself
then all hope is lost.
 
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