Can someone explain to me what is wrong with the "Friend Zone"?

[Hidden-Hand]

Seriously, what is wrong with "just being friends" with a woman? Why must a woman either be you lover, or be out of your life? Are they not humans too? Should they be denied male friends all because they do not find themselves attracted to a particular guy for whatever reason? I've read that whole metaphor about why you cant be friends with an ex, I agree to a certain extent but come on if she was never attracted to you sexually in the first place, but sees you as a great potential friend, why burn the bridge down purposely?? What is the logic behind not having female friends? Or is it an ego issue?

"I can never be friends with a WOAH-MAN, they are evil and untrustworthy."
"Either give me what I want or **** off!"
"If you wont give me sex then stay the **** away from me, NEXT!"
"Well if she does want to **** me, then to hell with her!"
"Oh you want to be friends? Me 'just friends' with a WOMAN? WTF do I look like, a AFC or a Nice Guy, Piss off."

Is this really the true attitude of a DJ? Is this the essence of what is being taught here? Is this the spirit of Sosuave? Pure selfishness and the attitude of some sexual deviant who uses women to benifit oneself? Perhaps all of the above?

It is a well known fact that you will not have sex with every woman you meet, so why not be friends with the ones who want to? I'm not talking about being friends with women who ignore you, blow you off, not answer your calls, ect. Because they have no interest in you on any level. I only talk about the ones who actively persue a "friendship level" relationship with you. (The ones who you ignore because they dont want sex from you).

Why cant DJ's see a woman as a friend, instead of a potential LTR or sexual encounter?? What is the true problem with the friend zone??

 

[Ease]

it refers to women who you want to get with

If you have no interest in a girl, then go ahead be friends, who cares.

But being friends with a girl who you find attractive and would potentially like to bone is useless.

I automatically place girls into 2 catagories, 'YES' and 'NO'.

yes: attractive

no: ugly, relatives, girlfriends of friends, ex's of friends, psycho etc.

Becoming friends or friendzoned with girls in the YES catagory means you cant buck them. If you dont want to, go ahead and become friends. The science behind this is that girls stop thinking of you romantically and lose attraction for you when you lose your alpha male position and become a gay best friend.

Please be a gay best friend if it will make you happy.

 

[Tyson420]

It's only when you still have feelings for her and somebody else ends up ****ing her. IF YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER, and you are friendzoned. Another dude will eventually end up ****ing her, then you will KILL YOURSELF over it, not physically maybe but mentally.

If you don't give a ****, then be her friend. Who cares.

Cutting her off completely simply helps people like that cope with LJBF. If you were just looking to ****, and not LTR then yeah LJBF is not that big of a deal. It's actually beneficial. You don't even have to worry about anything, keep at the kino, the teasing. Maybe you'll become F-Buddies.

At the same time however, go **** someone else. If you have oneitis it is an ENORMOUS problem.

 

[Warrior74]

if you want something and it's constantly dangled in your face but you can't have it, what do you do? you either find a way to get it, or you leave it behind and go get it somewhere else. Fvck being DJ (god that term is gay) its about being a man and getting what you want out of life. My female friends are women I am not sexually attracted to. And by friends, I mean people I will talk to and see on occasion, not hang out with every day.

 

[EFFORT]

The "Friend Zone" usually means you have a sexual interest in a woman and attempt some sort of advance and she turns it down. Then says something like "Lets just be friends"...which means "I have no sexual interest in you"

So the foundation of this "friendship" starts with you wanting a sexual relationship with her and being turned down. When she says "lets just be friends" it doesn't magically make you no longer want to have sex with her. So the "friendship" has the guy interested on a sexual level and the woman isn't. So your not being authentic. This isn't a friendship. Friends don't have a sexual interest in each other.

Now if your coming from the context where you honestly just want to have a friendship with a woman and you don't have any sort of sexual attraction for them or some secret agenda...your value is just purely wanting the friendship then by all means go for it.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

I think you can still be sexually attracted and remain 'friends' just as long as you're not needy and you're not ACTIVELY pursuing something or counting on something to happen. I have a good friend . . I'm not drooling over her but she's cute and I probably would fool around given the chance . . but it would probably never happen and I'm 100% cool with that.

I don't think you CAN be friends with a decent looking girl and not be at least a little sexually attracted. We're men.

Now . . ROMANTIC interest/attraction. Yeah, no chance.

 

[Ice882]

Friends can have sexual attraction between each other. There are no definite lines--they are always blurred. I recently hooked up with a girl who I was friends with for about a year.

You can't generalize.

 

[phatboi408]

There is nothing wrong with being in the friends zone. You just can't have sex with her..... or can you?

 

[Hidden-Hand]

IF YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER, and you are friendzoned. Another dude will eventually end up ****ing her, then you will KILL YOURSELF over it, not physically maybe but mentally.

How do you figure that? Why not be 'just friends' with a woman who you are attracted to? What you said revealed your mindset. You are the only controller of your emotions and feelings. So why would you choose to do that to yourself?

 

[Warrior74]

How do you figure that? Why not be 'just friends' with a woman who you are attracted to? What you said revealed your mindset. You are the only controller of your emotions and feelings. So why would you choose to do that to yourself?

Okay smart guy. Why'd you even post then? Do what you believe and see what works for you. That's really all any of us can do at the end of the day.

 

[women haze]

All I know is..I got oneitis with my Co worker. It will be hell if this turns into a friendship...Because I want her dawg. Straight up.

Being in the friendzone with a girl that you like is not cool man. Not cool at all....