Can someone explain this to me..

[irocknike23]

I know its ironic I am making this post on V-day but whatever..

this is sort of frustrating to me.

A few months ago the ex left me. Why? At first I didn't know. Over time reading the forums and DJ bible I made that classic mistake where once I got into the relationship I became too nice and placed her first in my life above everything.

And when she broke up, instead of going NC I cried to her like a little b*tch(not real crying but you know what I mean)

Now...she got with a dude that I know(well she got with him over a month ago)
Normal right?
Well...this dude is really nice....drowns her in attention....and is overall a p&ssy...like I see him on facebook posting some like "omg I miss my babe"(which sickens me because yes I still have feelings for her)
I learned to let go, but its just frustrating that she leaves me and gets with a dude that is a much nicer guy than me.....like wtf.....I thought thats what girls run away from.


And prior to getting with my ex, this dude has not had a girl in YEARS. Girls always hang around him because he is "sweet" and "kind" but never are into him. And he has not really changed, I see him in real life from time to time and he is still the same dude that would not hurt a fly and is full of manners and smiles and drowns you in kindness(when I see him in real life its hard to hate him)


I am not trying to get back with my ex...trust me. But this situation just got me really frustrated. I just have to ask...how...and why? I am beyond confused...has anyone had a similar thing happen ?
My only explanation is, my ex's best friend really likes this dude(as a friend)...and they do say females friends are a powerful influence...but is that really the sole reason she is with him and him being too nice is not a problem? I am confused..

 

[styleman]

I think she dumped you for another reason. Has she told you nothing?

 

[irocknike23]

I think she dumped you for another reason. Has she told you nothing?

Ya...somewhat. But she wont tell me the real reason. It was weird. Because she switched up the story like 3 times so I came to a conclusion that I will not get it out of her(the "you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink theory)

But here is how my relationship went:
We met, I ignored her, talked to her a little.
Started hanging out with her somewhat, but never called or text, she initiated contact. Every time we hung out, I always picked on her and joked around her(found it funny). Asked her out, because I wanted to bang her. Got attached. Started acting all nice and sweet by texting and calling and saying way to much simp stuff...started noticing her pulling away....she calls me one night and breaks up....

So that's my theory..


Well also her best friend hated me...like I have no clue why but she just never got along with me for some reason. Can that be why?

But seriously...she gets with the biggest sweethearted dude I know...

 

[styleman]

Ya...somewhat. But she wont tell me the real reason. It was weird. Because she switched up the story like 3 times so I came to a conclusion that I will not get it out of her(the "you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink theory)

But here is how my relationship went:
We met, I ignored her, talked to her a little.
Started hanging out with her somewhat, but never called or text, she initiated contact. Every time we hung out, I always picked on her and joked around her(found it funny). Asked her out, because I wanted to bang her. Got attached. Started acting all nice and sweet by texting and calling and saying way to much simp stuff...started noticing her pulling away....she calls me one night and breaks up....

So that's my theory..


Well also her best friend hated me...like I have no clue why but she just never got along with me for some reason. Can that be why?

But seriously...she gets with the biggest sweethearted dude I know...

Could be a number of reasons;

1. She liked you for teasing her and you 'changed'. That's not to say she doesn't like affectionate guys, its just not what she liked in you.
2. If you gave her orga*ams, you becoming attached shouldn't have mattered too much.
3. Really need to know what reasons she gave you, my gut feeling is that one of them is true.
4. Again like reason 2, if she was really attracted to you, not much her friend said could come between you two, but its possible her friend made it happen.
5. The new guy might be polite and affectionate but maybe doesn't call her all the time, but trust me when a girl is really into you, calling her isn't an issue.

 

[irocknike23]

Could be a number of reasons;

1. She liked you for teasing her and you 'changed'. That's not to say she doesn't like affectionate guys, its just not what she liked in you.
2. If you gave her orga*ams, you becoming attached shouldn't have mattered too much.
3. Really need to know what reasons she gave you, my gut feeling is that one of them is true.
4. Again like reason 2, if she was really attracted to you, not much her friend said could come between you two, but its possible her friend made it happen.
5. The new guy might be polite and affectionate but maybe doesn't call her all the time, but trust me when a girl is really into you, calling her isn't an issue.

Dammit...ya I messed up by never giving her an orga*sm....

Its because every time we did it, it was in my car which is a 2 seater(both of us live with parents) and trying to fit my long legs in the center console was almost impossible...so every time we did it the experience was uncomfortable AF.

And the new dude she dating...he has his own apartment...


And the reason she gave me was that I was pushing her away from her family. And that was kind of true because she is close to her family but I would bring BIG time fights into her house because I would bring her home 2-3 hours past curfew...sometimes at 5 in the morning(her curfew is 1)


and the last time her dad caught us messing around in the car and she got into a mess load of trouble...she is one of those girls that is grown up but still under the wings of her parents...


And she told me that she could not see me for a while and broke up...but wanted to stay in touch and still occasionally hang out...and like an idiot I agreed and flooded her with too much of that romantic movie crap type stuff.


but still....I am beyond confused because everything DJ bible says is
Nice guy=no girls and in my situation... nice guy=banging girl you are stuck on..

 

[styleman]

Dammit...ya I messed up by never giving her an orga*sm....

Its because every time we did it, it was in my car which is a 2 seater(both of us live with parents) and trying to fit my long legs in the center console was almost impossible...so every time we did it the experience was uncomfortable AF.

And the new dude she dating...he has his own apartment...


And the reason she gave me was that I was pushing her away from her family. And that was kind of true because she is close to her family but I would bring BIG time fights into her house because I would bring her home 2-3 hours past curfew...sometimes at 5 in the morning(her curfew is 1)


and the last time her dad caught us messing around in the car and she got into a mess load of trouble...she is one of those girls that is grown up but still under the wings of her parents...


And she told me that she could not see me for a while and broke up...but wanted to stay in touch and still occasionally hang out...and like an idiot I agreed and flooded her with too much of that romantic movie crap type stuff.


but still....I am beyond confused because everything DJ bible says is
Nice guy=no girls and in my situation... nice guy=banging girl you are stuck on..

Ok, I don't know your age. Giving a girl good orgas*ms is a good way of keeping them around, but if she's not getting them elsewhere, your relationship takes different characteristics.

I don't know how long you've been around on DJ forums, but 'nice guy' is not as clear cut as it sounds. Read pook's posts, his wisdom on that is irreplaceable. I'll try explaining:

Girls don't like:
1. When you cannot get your words out.
2. When you don't express what you're feeling (this doesn't mean it has to be in a soppy way).
3. When you are agreeable but not involved with them.

If a girl loves you/is attached to you, this changes:
1. Your opinion is supposed to match her opinion.
2. Stand your ground if it effects you. But if it effects her you'd better shut up and listen.
3. Now rather than teasing her, she wants you to fight for your place.

In your situation, her reasons sound pretty legitimate:
1. You weren't fvcking her, and that's the reason people are together.
2. She was fighting with others because of you, her friend who doesn't like you and her father. People stay in relationships that make them feel good. You weren't providing that to her.

Sad reality - girls want things from a relationship
1. S*x
2. Feel good factor
3. Protection
4. Money

End of the day, unless you're providing all of those, all you're in for with a bad boy attitude is one shot at a one night stand, and if you blow her mind you're in for round two.

 

[zinc4]

Dammit...ya I messed up by never giving her an orga*sm....

Its because every time we did it, it was in my car which is a 2 seater(both of us live with parents) and trying to fit my long legs in the center console was almost impossible...so every time we did it the experience was uncomfortable AF.

And the new dude she dating...he has his own apartment...


And the reason she gave me was that I was pushing her away from her family. And that was kind of true because she is close to her family but I would bring BIG time fights into her house because I would bring her home 2-3 hours past curfew...sometimes at 5 in the morning(her curfew is 1)


and the last time her dad caught us messing around in the car and she got into a mess load of trouble...she is one of those girls that is grown up but still under the wings of her parents...


And she told me that she could not see me for a while and broke up...but wanted to stay in touch and still occasionally hang out...and like an idiot I agreed and flooded her with too much of that romantic movie crap type stuff.


but still....I am beyond confused because everything DJ bible says is
Nice guy=no girls and in my situation... nice guy=banging girl you are stuck on..

No way you can regulrly satisfy a woman in a seat of a car unless you are just really damn good.......she left you because the sex wasn't that great...i mean you never even made her orgasm? my main girl oragsms at least twice everytime we have sex......many time much more....not trying to make you feel bad, but sex and orgasming are very important for the majority of women........and she probably deems the other guy as more of a man with his crap together because he has his own place...and he could be great in bed....also it's great to be affectionate with a woman as long as you are not clingy...this could very well be the case with him...

and from the sounbds of it you became too predictable and clingy towards her another reason for lock of orgasms....

 

[irocknike23]

Thanks for clearing all that up.

As harsh as it sounds, its better to know than to be guessing which drove me insane.


BTW I am only in the first half of the DJ bible...as bad as this might sound does it later cover how to make a girl get a orgasm? Because I hate to admit it but I need help with this, if DJ Bible does not share this than I could use some help..