"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Can one recover from "Auto Rejection"?

Insouciant

Don Juan
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Every seasoned DJ knows that attraction has an expiration date.

Everyone seasoned DJ should also be savvy enough to know that they should just approach the girl, and avoid auto-rejection in the first place.

In any case, what if you were put in a place where... because you didn't approach the girl and express your interest (IE by asking her out for a cup of coffee), she went into auto rejection and has gone cold and distant.

Before, she'd give me 3-4 second stares, smile, even wave. Now, she won't even make eye contact.

This is most likely a sunk ship, which is fine. But has anyone ever turned around a chick who went into auto-rejection before? If so, how did that happen/
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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PRAGMATIST

Don Juan
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Insouciant said:
Every seasoned DJ knows that attraction has an expiration date.

Everyone seasoned DJ should also be savvy enough to know that they should just approach the girl, and avoid auto-rejection in the first place.

In any case, what if you were put in a place where... because you didn't approach the girl and express your interest (IE by asking her out for a cup of coffee), she went into auto rejection and has gone cold and distant.

Before, she'd give me 3-4 second stares, smile, even wave. Now, she won't even make eye contact.

This is most likely a sunk ship, which is fine. But has anyone ever turned around a chick who went into auto-rejection before? If so, how did that happen/
I dont get a feel for the exact circumstances.. was this a woman you saw somewhere regally? Or just some chick you saw from a distance in a club one time???

Because the two scenarios are kinda different. In a club, you can sometimes get away with making excuses for not seeing her do something or whatever or even that your shy, so you didn't approach, its possible to turn your disinterest to an advantage, obviously..The push pull thing.

...If however this was an ongoing situation where the chick had been giving you IOI's over weeks or months...and you never approached, and now she has gone cold...well clearly she will think you were not interested, but worse that you didnt step up and reciprocate in all that time, which would have been manners..Women take this as a diss and insult..obviously. She basically feels like a fool now because you dissed her, when she was basically hitting on you...

If its the long term scenario then you can tell her, you noticed her and really wanted to talk to her but that the whole time you couldn't because you had a Gfriend... This is your most plausible excuse for ignoring her..Dont say your shy, that's just a playful line for a club...women dont want guys who are too shy to approach them...so even if thats why you backed off, dont let on.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
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Girls get REALLY pissed off when you don't make a move I've noticed. They turn their attraction into hate for you really fast. Just make it a law in your mind to bust a move when things are alive and hot. If you don't care or find her attractive, fine, who cares, but if you do, it is in your best interest to say hello and ask for a date.

The answer is that you will seldom turn things around. It looks off: Oh, now you decide to go for it when she's pissed at you??? It's expired, too late, it's past it's prime. Just own your decision and next time...you know better.
 

Big Pappy

Master Don Juan
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One must strike while the iron is hot.
But - you already know that.

To turn this girl around, you'll need some help, I'd say. Social proof ( and I'm not talking about facebook crap) can win her back over to you. You just need to show her how fun and exciting you are. To just display this on your own is going to seem a bit lame and desperate. But to be hanging out with your friends and let her see you. Then, invite her into your world. If she passes, c'est le vie. That's life in the big city. Next!
 

taiyuu_otoko

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VladPatton said:
Girls get REALLY pissed off when you don't make a move I've noticed. They turn their attraction into hate for you really fast.
Yep. Give it up. Find somebody else. You're wasting your time.

She's already put you in a box in her mind. The way she sees it, she gave you the BIGGEST come on ever, IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY, and you blew her off (in front of everybody) like she was a piece of gum on your shoe.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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